the"stuck on the toilet with no tp" thread

[John]

Here I sit in the misty vapor

Some motherfucker took my toilet paper

I can't just sit here and linger

So watch out asshole, here comes my finger

Oh, so, you're the shithouse poet???

I remember the stall I read this in quite vividly. It was an Alpha-Beta supermarket in SoCal in the early 80's. There were drawings of boobs and peen on the walls along with this literary gem. It made a clear mark upon my tiny young brain.

[sonidero]

Better than,

Here I sit
Cheeks a flexin
Givin birth
To another Texan

Or an arrow pointing down sayin "Tortilla Soup"...

Starbucks napkins, grab 20 everyday and soon you'll be using them for all your bodily extractions...

[ryan summit]

Starbucks napkins, grab 20 everyday and soon you'll be using them for all your bodily extractions...

gas station dunkin donuts wipes
in my truck
always fillin them with schnot
and the occasional 5 gal bucket dump
when im on the job
the blue roll of h.d. shop towels
dry out my precious heiny hole

[snipelfritz]

Ryan this is like the thread you were destined to make.

Incidentally, my house is getting near crisis levels of tp.

[psychedelicrelic]

NSFW: show

I took a shit on a C130 Space-a flight to korea when I was 13. It was 30 degrees and i had to hover over what looked like large athletes cup attached to a tube. There was some razor single ply that literally shredded my virgin sphincter. A cold bleeding asshole is a strange sensation. Everytime I pooped for the following week, pooping/wiping ripped the scabs and there was blood on the tp.

This story brought to you by leftover Thai food.

[snipelfritz]

Daddy bought TP!!!!!

but really, my bowels always are angry and I poop like 5 times a day on average. As a result, I'm used to blood on the toilet paper.

Blood on the Toilet Paper sounds like a fucking awesome name for a hardcore song.

[psychedelicrelic]

Daddy bought TP!!!!!

but really, my bowels always are angry and I poop like 5 times a day on average. As a result, I'm used to blood on the toilet paper.

Blood on the Toilet Paper sounds like a fucking awesome name for a hardcore song.

I poop about 5 times a day and everyone gives me shit about it. They dont think im pooping, they say I'm jacking off.
I'm doing both.

[smallsnd/bigsnd]

left hand, just like in rural africa.
edit: or most of africa.

[fungalattack]

Shower time?

[John]

Shower time?

Shidét.