The awkwardness thread

[colin]

Awkward?

Try to get into her panties for a goodbye or something.

Cry.

Cut your hair, buy new clothes, or do whatever else it is that generally means you are making an effort to get over it. Be really cheerful about it. Only works if you're not meaning it.

Stop eating.

Go through bills meticulously and ask money off her. Offering her money to get out quicker might also lead to lolful situations.

I offered her sex last time she left the bedroom, she pretended to not be able to hear me.

Seriously, I actually am being very cheerful about it, I'm 100% ok with this breakup. The only thing that's going to really suck about it is all the shit I'm going to have to buy, we've been using her bed, her pots and pans, her microwave etc. and I just don't own most of that shit. Oh and I guess I'm probably not going to be able to keep my uninsured truck at her parents' place any more. And my rent will effectively double, so I guess I won't be buying any gear for a while.

She actually offered to give me money for rent for her share of rent for the next month or so, but I don't plan on accepting. It's really not an acrimonious breakup, we simply don't get along well any more.

Damnit I am going to have to cut my hair and shave though, aren't I?

[dubkitty]

not for a couple of days, apparently

[Kellanium]

My junk doesn't like to stay tucked, which is fine about 80% of the time, but the other 20% i'm wearing skinnny jeans.

[Caesar]

Tell her you jizzed in one of her pots and pans, and ask her to guess which one. For every answer she gives, say, "maybe." Then she will leave you all the pots and pans. Win!

[Fuzzy Fred]

just masturbate everywhere

[The4455]

are there any bands you love that she ABSOLUTELY CAN'T STAND? you know what to do.

Uh, all the bands I listen to? Seriously, she hates EVERY band I like.[/quote]


How could you date someone who hates all the bands you like? Did she like when you played? That gurl cray.

[futuresailors]

just masturbate everywhere

You guys sharing the bed still?

Rub one out next to her as you're going to sleep. Vigorously. Rub vigorously. Probably include some bobble-head action from the vigor.

[MEC]

Start taking pictures of her and when she tells you to stop, inform her that you just need a few more to fill out the last
few pages of a scrapbook you started when the two of you first got together.

When she asks to see the scrapbook tell her "No" and that it is personal and none of her business.
After this, just leave and tell her you'll be back in a few hours.
It doesn't really matter where you go or what you do, just be happy knowing she's at home looking for a non-existent scrapbook.

Bonus Fun: Plant other weird shit in places you know she'll look!

[colin]

How could you date someone who hates all the bands you like? Did she like when you played? That gurl cray.

I was exaggerating, but we do have very different tastes in music. And no, she was not overly fond of my playing, too loud and noisy for her liking.

Start taking pictures of her and when she tells you to stop, inform her that you just need a few more to fill out the last
few pages of a scrapbook you started when the two of you first got together.

When she asks to see the scrapbook tell her "No" and that it is personal and none of her business.
After this, just leave and tell her you'll be back in a few hours.
It doesn't really matter where you go or what you do, just be happy knowing she's at home looking for a non-existent scrapbook.

Bonus Fun: Plant other weird shit in places you know she'll look!

I like this idea, it'll certainly creep her out.

[Caesar]

If she doesn't want to be with a guy like you, then she's a piece of shit. Treat her like it. She should be miserable. If it's that bad, she should be out NOW.... Unless you really want her back, and you're secretly hoping she'll love you if she sticks around....

[Scruffie]

Start taking pictures of her and when she tells you to stop, inform her that you just need a few more to fill out the last
few pages of a scrapbook you started when the two of you first got together.

When she asks to see the scrapbook tell her "No" and that it is personal and none of her business.
After this, just leave and tell her you'll be back in a few hours.
It doesn't really matter where you go or what you do, just be happy knowing she's at home looking for a non-existent scrapbook.

Bonus Fun: Plant other weird shit in places you know she'll look!

I need to remember this or a variation of this for any future break ups.