Starting Over.

[Iommic Pope]

This thread will be mostly for those of us suffering depression, anxiety and/or burnout, but if love to hear from those of you that were just dissatisfied with your life and decided to pull the pin and start over.

I'm on my lunch break, so I don't have much time, but basically my work environment has become toxic and volatile to the point where I'm quite happy to rage quit and go sweep streets or whatever the fuck comes along first.
Problem is, I have financial responsibilities and need stability, so I'm kind of tied to the wheel at this point.
Those of you who have been burned out on a job and have managed to make changes, how did you manage it?

I'll post more details later but I appreciate any experiences anyone wants to share. I know a few you guys and gals have managed to do this and I know there are a few of us going through this right now.
Cheers!

[Hyphen Nation]

Here's the deal. NEVER leave a stable because it is uncomfortable. That won't get you someplace better. There are two kinds of movement in business and jobs. Moving away from something we don't like or moving towards what we like. You want to do that latter. The former is an outcome. Identify exactly what it is you want, and move towards opportunities like that. Those of us with families and responsibilities can't just bounce when we want to. Also, just flipping desks and telling everyone to go fuckt themselves just means you repeat the pattern. You can do this. Determine what you want. Get after it. In the mean time, go to work with the knowledge that you are working on yourself and getting what you need. This means you'll be finding a better place to go to work at, better people to work with, and better things to work on. You just need to find that and pursue that.

[UglyCasanova]

I've packed up all my shit and left everything and everyone behind...twice.

But it's 5:30 am and I need some sleep. Will contribute tomorrow. Interesting thread!

[PeteeBee]

I've never done the rage quit, but I did a full life reboot a handful of years ago. Looked around my life in seattle, hated all of it, packed up and moved in with the only person I knew in California. It can be hard to make it all work, especially if you have responsibilities (as mentioned before). I say take a minute and sort out where you want to be and make it happen. Hell, if you want to start over in California you can stay with me til you get on your feet. I can even hire you at my coffee shop. I agree with hyphen nation that you need to make sure it ends up more positive than what's happening currently. Case in point, before I was cooking, so when I moved I didn't apply at any restaurants.

[CyaNitrate]

All good advice

I moved to OH with my then gf, now wife, after i finished college with a degree in photography. She was getting her masters, so I worked. I got a job at a portrait studio, and I thought it was awesome at first, straight outta college landing a job in my field. Ha..how naive I was

As it turned out, the job was a nightmare. I was doing the manager's role, but without the title, and therefore without the pay, for far too long. I was the only college educated person in my district, let alone in photography, but that is because they literally reduced it to pushing a button. Camera was locked to a specific setting, not to be changed, and I was reduced to a clown that had to make babies smile. lest I earn the wrath of their mothers who wanted everything for free or discounted. Worse yet, when we had no customers, we were supposed to troll around Walmart to try and lure customers in by telling them how cute their kids were and what specials we had...that works if you're a chick, but I am not, and it just felt creepy, so I nearly never did it.

I would come home and complain to the mrs and our friends, but I stuck it out. Had to pay the bills. In the end, I got lucky, because the wife landed a job in AZ, the portrait studio went belly up, and I now love my job as a photojournalist. When we firs got here I took a job on a golf course grounds crew, again, the only college educated one (not to say I felt better than anyone, it was just frustrating that my degree was basically collecting dust). But then I applied for the current gig and got it.

But the takeaway is really what Hyphen said...don't bail until you have something else locked down. It sucks. But be proactive, use downtime to search for something new and apply places. In the meantime, you've got us to vent to

[Jwar]

I've packed up all my shit and left everything and everyone behind...twice.

But it's 5:30 am and I need some sleep. Will contribute tomorrow. Interesting thread!

5:30 am??? What you sleep past that? I wish I could...


So I have some insight on this whole thing as I'm batshit crazy and bipolar and have suffered for 90% of my life.

When I was growing up, I'm not sure I was given the adequate tools to cope with things because I came from a mentally and physically abusive home. Not something I like to talk about, but in light of the subject it may be relevant. Instead of being taught skills that I needed to succeed, I was beat the shit out of. No joke. I was punched, kicked, stomped on, had my face spit in, choked, hit with the metal part of a belt or a fly swatter, and many other things I've tried to block out. It took me years to process what happened to me for most of my childhood and teenage years. I saw a psychologist every week for almost 5 years to heal myself. I am fine now and at peace with it.

I've noticed though that these things have affected how I react to situations and others around me. It sucks, but I have to make a conscious decision to not allow them to. Being bipolar, sometimes that decision isn't a thing I can make. My brain doesn't operate like that of a "normal" persons.

I've left jobs left and right since I was 15. I'm 33 now and I think I know what I want to do when I grow up, but changes all the time. I'm never satisfied. Never content. I'm always seeking something better because I feel like I fail at everything I do. I know that's not true, but it doesn't take away the feeling.

In the work place, these days, if things become like you speak of, I may a plan of action to leave. I've done it several times over the last few years. I left Whole Foods after 2.5 years because the folks I worked with, while entertaining, were not growing as people and were very toxic. The management was horrible and I was treated very poorly despite my efforts. I actually put a lot into that job as I was trying to move up in the company and was given only negatives in return. The job after that, same thing. Personal training at a community center for almost 3 years, couldn't make ends meet, my boss was a jerk off and told me all kinds of fucked up shit. So I quit.

I always give notice and do the process.

I'm rejoining the work force soon after almost year off and doing the whole self employment thing. I'm very apprehensive. I'm scared. This time though, I only have one boss and he's my friend/coach. So I think it will be better. For the most part, I'm still my own boss. Which is what I need. I don't need some other dick head dictating to me how things should be done while they do it the wrong way.

I'm tired of managers. We need more leaders in the work place and less managers.

Ok. That's all I have for now.

[snipelfritz]

The best part about hitting rock bottom is there's no place to go but up.

[Jwar]

The best part about hitting rock bottom is there's no place to go but up.

This times a million!!!

[skullservant]

I left everything in Richmond after I graduated and moved back up to Maryland. I think it was the best thing for me honestly. I've matured infinitely since living down there/college.

[Disarm D'arcy]

I have dreamed about it for many years, mostly as a kid/teenager. But things got better and I have now far too many reasons to just not. Everyday I get closer to independence, which is the only thing I strive for. Really my life is simple but rad. The only way it could get better would be significant other.

[SPACERITUAL]

The best part about hitting rock bottom is there's no place to go but up.

This times a million!!!

A couple years ago i was working at a wendys.

If there is anything i have learned, is that if you feel something is poisonous and noot for you, that is because IT IS. Never be scared to pull the plug and give everyone the finger.

[antennafarm]

I'm about to do it. Medically retiring from the Army and dropping a whoooooole lot, moving... somewhere. Either Chapel Hill or Detroit (haven't decided, I REALLY SHOULD). But I'm going to do a little traveling before going back to school and enact the plan I've been working on about What I Really Want to Do.

Sometimes you just gotta cut sling load.

[daseb]

I bailed on my old job because one day I was seriously considering plowing my car into a bridge pylon on the way there rather than showing up. Quit that day with nowhere else lined up and no money. It sucked for a few months but I didn't have much beyond rent as a responsibility and once I got out of that situation I couldn't believe how much shit I'd put up with, and for how long.

These days I'm kinda stuck in a rut in my current job and drowning a little bit in debt but, mortgage, kid on the way, shit like that. So probably going to have to grin and bear it for a little while longer.

[Hyphen Nation]

Just to be clear, I am all for change. Just make sure you are identifying what you want to move towards, not what you want to move away from. That way you have something to help inform your decisions on how to proceed, and make the reality you want happen, not a different reality made in reaction to the current toxic one. You don't want this one defining what's next. That's for you to do.

[PeteeBee]

Totally. Even when it's shitty, you have to be strategic. Maybe it's even more important when it's shitty. Kind of depends on how extreme the shit is.