ilovefuzz.com

madmax1012 wrote:my friend dated a girl who gave hand jobs like indian rug burns. she didn't know you have to move your hand up and down. i felt awful for my friend

How can someone not grasp (lulz) the very basic concept of a handjob?

Seriously though if something isn't working in sex, then TELL THE OTHER PERSON. Simple.

monkeydancer wrote:

madmax1012 wrote:my friend dated a girl who gave hand jobs like indian rug burns. she didn't know you have to move your hand up and down. i felt awful for my friend

How can someone not grasp (lulz) the very basic concept of a handjob?

Seriously though if something isn't working in sex, then TELL THE OTHER PERSON. Simple.

Seriously? Stop being boring with the obvious practical advice and come up with something horribly wrong instead.

I AM SORRY I WAS TIRED. In my experience the best thing for lubing up a dick for a good handy is icy hot. Feels so good. Petrol works too.

I'm just baffled how I could have missed 4 pages of handjob discussion

I used to agree with Behndorama.... much prefer spending time with a lady who has things I don't.
Nobody else can master the art of ball-work like you can do to yourself.

Of course, it's been a while for me with a decent lady ......



I'd fuck a rusty keyhole nailed to a donkey's ass

monkeydancer wrote:I AM SORRY I WAS TIRED. In my experience the best thing for lubing up a dick for a good handy is icy hot. Feels so good. Petrol works too.

i literally shivered in fear at the thought of icy hot on my dick.

and then i had to explain to my room mate why i shivered for no apparent reason.


awwwkwwaaaarrrrd

excane wrote:I'm just baffled how I could have missed 4 pages of handjob discussion

I used to agree with Behndorama.... much prefer spending time with a lady who has things I don't.
Nobody else can master the art of ball-work like you can do to yourself.

Of course, it's been a while for me with a decent lady ......



I'd fuck a rusty keyhole nailed to a donkey's ass

Over 100 donkeys

Yeah, I should have said something. I was too fucked up to care at the time, but it was just like "wait..."

It was the thought that counts though

A handjob from a donkey is what I really want. No substitutes accepted.

monkeydancer wrote::lol: A handjob from a donkey is what I really want. No substitutes accepted.

Signature'd.

So this became another donkey fucking thread...

WE SHALL NOT MAKE ICY HOT COMING INTO CONTACT WITH GENITALIA JOKES. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE AMOUNT OF PAIN THAT AWFUL SUBSTANCE CAUSED ME.

We'll stop turning threads into donkey fucking threads when donkeys stop being so fucking sexy.


And BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA did that actually happen???

monkeydancer wrote:We'll stop turning threads into donkey fucking threads when donkeys stop being so fucking sexy.


And BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA did that actually happen???

back when I played football in high school, I had a chronic groin problem. Pulled it 3 times in 2 years. Anyways, someone was like "just use some icy hot, it'll feel good". yeah you know what happened when I put that icy hot on my groin? IT TOUCHED MY BALLS. and you know what happens? THE BURN DOESN'T GO AWAY. THE SHOWER MAKES IT BURN MORE

I feel for you bro, but holy shit that's funny.

that's among the most horrifying things i've ever heard.