It's amazing, like nothing the world has ever seen before. His tongue is totally unnatural. If you could imagine a super dense latex glove with nearly infinite elasticity and teeming with tastebuds that seamlessly merge with whatever it comes into contact with, you can begin to understand what we're dealing with. It's like a dimpled fluid that retains cohesion. Using this fleshy tongue, Fieri has finally transcended the need to cook altogether; he has figured out a way to take all the meals he has ever consumed and synthesize it all into the cellular framework of this living mechanism within his mouth and he has figured out how to press this synthesized collection of taste sensations into any cellular structure it meets.
So the hostess brought us to our "dining area" which was nothing more than a series of barber chairs arranged in a circle, each of which leaned back against a sink basin. We all got situated and the hostess dressed us in our smocks before exiting the room. From the center of the ceiling, a large pipe dropped down and split off into a series of individual channels, one channel for each guest, and each channel ending inches from our mouths.
And through these channel pipes a hot moist musk bathed our faces. We were all extremely anxious bordering on scared. And then the meal started. Something with the texture of old hot chewed gum oozed from the pipe and touched my lips. I reflexively clenched my mouth shut tight, but this thing, this slime tongue, passed seemly through our clinched orifices. The hostess has told us to simply relax and to not fight it, and seeing as how this substance was like stiff butter melting into oil on the lips and able to slip inside regardless of what I did, I finally relented.
Guy Fieri's delicious slime tongue coated our insides thoroughly. Through or nasal and oral cavities, it filled and bonded to our stomachs, intestines, lungs, and invaded deep into our blood vessels and into our loins. It filled us like no meal could have ever filled us before. And the tastes were incomprehensible. We were all rendered totally useless, inconsolable, euphoric, and sexually aroused like never before. It was simply incredible. To taste not just a perfectly prepared raspberry steak within your colon, but to taste a hundred thousand of them, along with thousands upon thousands of other meals within your colon, and not just your colon, but within every part of your body, doesn't even begin to describe the experience. I would rather die than to ever part ways with Guy Fieri's delicious, perfect, slime tongue.
and so I have a 6er coming 
gonna get a .174 .130 .098 .076 .057 .043 set from circle k for it 
