Worst BOOKER (and/or hooker?) experiences?

[behndy]

how often do you guys get screwed on the road BriBri?

locally, it's just annoying to get fucked for money or whatevah. seems horrific if you're mid tour.

[theavondon]

Man, so like, when I was a senior in high school, my band Star Commander played some weird fucking shows. The one that stands out the most in my mind was at a Peruvian restaurant in Carrolton where our friend Pablo was booking shows. Now, I love Pablo, he's a great guy, but he books some weird fucking shows. He used to try to book my friend Dale with a bunch of clowns (like, literally clowns, not just bad acts) and stand up comedians. One time he organized a show at a park, and we had to drive through the park (as in, no roads, just on the grass) to set up our stuff. So anyway, the show was a 13 year old Metallica cover band (that fucking slaaaaaayed), some band I missed because I walked to the Target next door to buy ibuprofen, a band called Blanket that played the mumbliest motherfucking Cold War Kids cover, and then us. Since we were the only band that wasn't using Crate 1x10 combo amps, we were incredibly loud in comparison. I mean, to be honest, we were pretty loud. But, after our second song, Pablo comes up to us and says "Hey, the owner says you guys need to turn down a lot". Thing was, it was about 9 PM, and nobody was in the restaurant except for people that were either in or with bands that had played earlier. In fact, there wasn't anyone else in any of the businesses in this strip mall. So, we go, turn down one notch, and start our next song. The owner decides that wasn't enough, so she starts flicking off and on the lights to the restaurant to signal us to stop. We had no idea what was going on, so we kept going. She runs up to the stage, waving her arms screaming "SHOW OVER, SHOW OVER, SHOW OVER". We stop, break down, and load up into our minivan, and Pablo comes out saying "Well, I'm never booking here ever again. Here's $22 I stole out of the cash register, let's get out of here."

Pretty sure that's the only show we ever got paid for until like two years later. Shitty shows like that I find funny. In fact, that's kinda why ECCOTONE was so outlandishly loud and unreasonable. We tried to bring out the worst in any show for our amusement. Times like when we played in a coffee shop after three solo singer-songwriter acts (We barely fit everything into the little nook, Miles had to forgo using a hi hat just to fit), or when we played the open mic at the dorm I lived at freshman year and knocked lightbulbs out of the ceiling and got cut off after the first song. We had a string of four shows getting shut down in a row, actually. A personal best.

[smallsnd/bigsnd]

how often do you guys get screwed on the road BriBri?

locally, it's just annoying to get fucked for money or whatevah. seems horrific if you're mid tour.

shit like that happened to me in the past when i or other members of my older bands were booking our own shows/tours. thankfully, for a long time now we have had an agent and contracts so no one has fucked us. i give thanks every show, seriously!

[behndy]

well.

JELLY.

[smallsnd/bigsnd]

I HAVE STORIES.
played after a weird puppet show, backing band for a stripper in a basement and best of all, not even getting to play after loading all the gear in, setting up AND sound-checking because i was 19 in a 21+ bar... i stole a bottle from the bar that time. yup

[behndy]

lol. stoopid bars not knowing the hour before/hour after window for underage talent DESERVE to get they liquors stolen.

WAY TO STICK IT TO THE MANNNNNS.

[Chankgeez]

... WAY TO STICK IT TO THE MANNNNNS.

That's what Peg said.

[tuffteef]

hey thas what im sayin
if you dont get paid just rob the salad bar
bitch fuck yo rules im eating more than 3 selections

[retinal orbita]

He used to try to book my friend Dale with a bunch of clowns (like, literally clowns, not just bad acts)

Hahahaha fuck....

[12XU2A3X3]

So I'd just finished osut (basic training) at Ft. Benning Ga. and me and two buddies decide to go get wasted. We were supposed to go to airborne but there was a backlog so we ended up in army purgatory known as "Airborne holdover" So we pooled our private pay dollars and got a hotel room in columbus. great idea.... We bought way to much booze and headed back to the hotel and I noticed this chick hanging out in the parking lot with a red wig on her head. So me being Mr smooth and all (and horny as fuck after months of getting yelled at and smoked) I go chat her up, find out her name is "ginger" and she is amiable to giving blowjobs for $20.
We all agree this is a great idea. I have it in mind to get pussy even though she's saying her fiancee only lets her do BJ's cause it's not cheating, so I let my buddy go first. He comes out 5 minutes later the happiest guy ever. My turn.
I know recieve the WORST BLOWJOB EVAR.
10 minutes in and she starts asking if i'm close which is a total turnoff. Like I'm trying to enjoy but she sucks at sucking. I offer to fuck her and she's all $50 What happened to the sacred trust with fiancee!!! Sadly i have no more moneys. So she goes back to work. 20 minutes late and I'm like fuck it. I mean this girl had some mad neck muscles but did not understand the concept of suck.
My other buddy was in and out in like 5 minutes. I think she fucked him.
The next night the booking agent told us he wanted us to play the same hotel again. I said go fuck yourself.










That last bit may not have happened.

when i got out of BMT i was primarily concerned with making sure i ate at least one entire pizza every 5-6 hours. i didn't have wait until tech school and did "the walk of shame" from lackland to sheppard (8 hours on a bus). when we stopped at the luby's (what a treat...) there was an oppurtunity for me to demonstrate how i not only thought that sex work isn't shameful but that i would in fact also patronize it's services, but i was afraid my MTI might still, in fact, be in the luggage compartment of the bus, as he had repeately promised me he would be, waiting for me to fuck up. (FOGHORN)