Worst BOOKER (and/or hooker?) experiences?

[Seizurema]

Fuck that guy.

[contraterrene]

some years ago, on the way back from a 2 week "mini-tour", we got a show in columbus, opening for semi-well-known douchey emo band. we drove 2 hours out of the way to get there, and come to find out, we were on AFTER said douchey band cleared out. so everyone was going to go home cause we werent as pretty, and we were going to be on stage in an empty bar. we didnt like that idea, so they told us they didnt need us anymore. we told the dude, "ok, pay us now." he said we didnt play, so why would he pay us? we told him nicely that if he didnt give us something, shit was going to get real. he gave us $40, and offered us a drink. our drummer was a big intimidating looking dude, and he said "thanks, we'll take a couple cases for the road". the owner gave us three cases of PBR pint cans.

also, the singer for the emo band tripped over the monitor cables, fell off stage, and then the monitor fell on his head, knocking him out cold, haha

[behndy]

you had me at emo.

[wafl]

We will ask that you do not play a show within a month of this show.

What and why and how and just my mind is full of wat and fuck.

anyways the full add
http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/van/m ... 66916.html

[behndy]

lol. eat twelve dicks.

urf. out here at the not totally dive, step before medium big clubs you get this entitled DOUCHINESS from bookers.

one place - got told that they wanted us to get a bio from each band, a link to music and video for each band, do a flyer and drop it off, make a FB event and make them the admin..... and this list of like 7 or 8 super particular ways of doing each thing.

at a meh club. who the fuck do these people think they are, and what the fuck part of promoting are YOU doing.

[Chankgeez]

We will ask that you do not play a show within a month of this show.

What and why and how and just my mind is full of wat and fuck.

anyways the full add
http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/van/m ... 66916.html

The reason for that is so that you don't dilute your draw.

I can tell plenty of stories from the other side of the table, but I won't.

[behndy]

DO IT.

[wafl]

capitalist pigs

[tuffteef]

oh god have i played some stinkers
i think thats why i like residencies or house shows

i knew it was over when fat stank orangutan tittie mums are yelling shit at me though

[Achtane]

i knew it was over when fat stank orangutan tittie mums are yelling shit at me though

I love you so much.

[D.o.S.]

We will ask that you do not play a show within a month of this show.

What and why and how and just my mind is full of wat and fuck.

anyways the full add
http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/van/m ... 66916.html

The reason for that is so that you don't dilute your draw.

I can tell plenty of stories from the other side of the table, but I won't.

Yeah, but when your "small draw" is 10 people, I don't know if you really need to worry about diluting anything.

Now.
Storytime.
Plz?

[Chankgeez]

Well, there was this time that Rancid played the club I worked at.

It was a radio station promo show and they weren't supposed to announce it until the day of the show.

They announced it the day before...

[retinal orbita]

The metal band I was in a few years back got booked to play a show for a benefit. We were new, had no demo and got picked up on the bill as the opening act. Good, right? Our singer who was dealing with the "booker" and didn't forward us the email explaining everything about setup and shit, that said "amps are provided, please bring your own head" and we're told by our singer "amps are provided". Great, nothing heavy to carry for a band I've already quit save for this last show. So I show up with my bass at 6 as instructed, along with all the other bands. Club doesn't even open until 7. So we're standing outside for an hour, booker shows up and says "whoops my bad" and we go in for sound check. Everyone starts bringing in their heads. I'm like.... "hey, I thought you said amps were provided" and he says "they are. The amp is where the sound coms out, the amplification. I've got those on stage. You didn't bring a head?"

So I'm like equally pissed at our singer for not reading the email or forwarding it to us, and as pissed with the promoter who doesn't fucking know the difference between an AMP HEAD AND A FUCKING CAB and and even more pissed after I try explaining to them the fundamentals of how an amp works. Of course I borrow a half stack from another band so it's all good. One of the guitar players didn't and had to plug in right into the PA, not even a distortion pedal. Watching that made everything almost better.

Oh and one time I was throwing a bachelor party for a friend who really wanted a themed stripper for his party and even though that sort of thing I'm not so into I hired the cop stripper and the sleazy guy I booked her with emailed me a picture of her and it turned out that picture was taken in 1981 when she started stripping not 2007 but that was still cool she put on a good show even though there was a scary pimp standing there making sure nothing got out of hand.... cost me $500... for something I'm really not cool spendig money on....

[blindrabbit]

ohhhhhhh Zimbabwe. you so crazy.

[smallsnd/bigsnd]

been through my fair share of getting fucked over by bookers - shitty situations, scammy money scenes, all sorts of bullshit. ugh.