band issues

[patrick]

idk if this is the right forum for this, but here goes.

I'm getting frustrated with my drummer. He's a good guy and a great drummer, but it feels like he isn't taking my band too seriously. One thing I can see contributing to that is one of the other bands he plays in got signed to a pretty big indie label shortly after I let him join my band; that band hasn't gotten much publicity (you won't see them on Pitchfork or anything, but they're on a label that Pitchfork-type bands are on), but they still play shows in Brooklyn and at European festivals sometimes, while I'm still just playing locally at bars (and in a city that's sort of isolated and not really known for having much of a music scene).

I've been trying to record an EP with him, and he's been simultaneously very self-conscious and very flaky about it. A few months ago, we tracked drums for all but one song, but he said he wasn't feeling good that day and messed up a couple fills, so he doesn't want me to use those takes. The thing is, I thought they were great, usable takes. Sure, maybe there was a fill that was a bit "eh", but it wouldn't be that noticeable once all the other instruments were tracked. I tried telling that to him, but he wouldn't hear it.

The next time I was able to talk him into trying was yesterday (at least three months later). The day before, he said he wanted to finish some demos for his solo project then try to do some of my stuff, and that he wanted to start at 11 am. No big deal. I was late leaving and got there at noon, and I ended up waking him up because he'd pulled a near all nighter for no reason. We ended up starting at 1; he finished his songs, then told me he wanted to practice our new songs more before recording them, and we practiced (minus our bassist) and that was it. No recording for my stuff, but I guess he hadn't exactly promised he would in the first place. He also told me he doesn't want to work at his place because he feels like he can't get anything done; the thing is, he has a legit home studio there and he's the only member of my band who does.

So the feeling I get is that he's a bit too much of a perfectionist and that he's not really dedicated to my band. I don't really know any other drummers, and I want to get this EP recorded by April and keep this band together at least until August or so. What should I do?

[space6oy]

kill him & learn to play drums.

[mattar]

Just ask him If he is into it. I was in a band that i could tell was going nowhere and started a conversation with the guitarist and at a point he asked if i was still into it, I said no, and said it didn't feel right. I left the band the band broke up and now i'm in another band with almost all the same members and its going way smoother and we are actually getting some music done. Open the conversation and figure out how to move on.

[space6oy]

yeah, i was just joking. sorry, couldn't resist. but what a bitch it is finding drummers is why i learned.

i had to end a band once back when i was in college because of our drummer. he'd learned to play after doing percussion in high school, and i felt like a dick ending the band that i started and ran, especially since he still is one of my very best friends, has been since 5th grade, but he just wasn't progressing & cutting the grade of what i needed back then. just gotta talk it out. sorry again if you have to end it w/ him.

[bigchiefbc]

I've dealt with compulsive perfectionism in a bandmate, and it is a fucking hell to deal with. I would much rather deal with a flaky pothead who can't concentrate on anything. At least then, you might occasionally get a usable take out of them. My long-term bandmate is a fucking basket-case perfectionist who refuses to ever finish a song, and it makes me want to cut my fucking head off sometimes.

[patrick]

yeah, i was just joking. sorry, couldn't resist. but what a bitch it is finding drummers is why i learned.

Haha, all good. If I wasn't fronting it, that'd be tempting.

And yeah, that's totally true. Every drummer I know has said there's never enough drummers around. He was basically the first guy I found who was willing, and it turned out that I lucked out and we had some real chemistry. That's another reason letting go would be tough.

I've dealt with compulsive perfectionism in a bandmate, and it is a fucking hell to deal with.

From my experience, I'm gonna agree with you on that one.

[Decibill]

I say talk to the guy. It doesn't do anyone any good for you to guess at what he is thinking. Go to the source and get the info.

[Mudfuzz]

I say talk to the guy. It doesn't do anyone any good for you to guess at what he is thinking. Go to the source and get the info.

This!

or as a alliterative to this

kill him & learn to play drums.

start talking to him about drum machines and how awesome Big Black was

[weed_killer]

or as a alliterative to this

kill him & learn to play drums.

start talking to him about drum machines and how awesome Big Black was

better yet, try giving Roland a call and see what he's up to these days.

[retinal orbita]

Sounds like from your post the only reason you haven't had words with him is because you don't know any other drummers and that's not fair to you or him either. Better to just be straight up with the guy for everyone's sake. If I knew guys in my band had issues with me I'd want them to address them straight up with me rather than anything else.... Even if it meant firing me tbqh, I'd rather hear it straight.

[behndy]

yeaaaahhhh. not to be a dick, but it sounds like either he's a pain to work with because nothing will ever be good enough, or he's not that into it. and the way your first post was phrased, it sounds like you feel he doesn't dig it that much.

definitely talk to him. it can be hard and confrontation gets messy sometimes, but clearing things up is WAY better than being in limbo where you're pissed off but there's no resolution.

[Gone Fission]

Is he anxious about holding the other gig? It might make him uneasy about whether this project reflects well. ("Oh shit! They're gonna drop my ass when they hear those muffed fills and I will never go on to fame and fortune!")

If that's it, would he feel better if some made-up person is credited for the drums on these sessions and there's some cover story to go with it, since he's obviously gigging with you?

[Casavettes]

honestly, if you get ill vibes from him then fuck it
go find someone else

no use in the headache
also what everyone said about talking to him
just don't drag it on is what i'm getting at

[gunslinger_burrito]

I've been trying to record an EP with him, and he's been simultaneously very self-conscious and very flaky about it. A few months ago, we tracked drums for all but one song, but he said he wasn't feeling good that day and messed up a couple fills, so he doesn't want me to use those takes. The thing is, I thought they were great, usable takes. Sure, maybe there was a fill that was a bit "eh", but it wouldn't be that noticeable once all the other instruments were tracked. I tried telling that to him, but he wouldn't hear it.

First off, I concur with everyone else about communication. BUT, if you can get him to record stuff in the mean-time, and you think it's usable, then keep it. Who cares if he hates it. If he asks, tell him you really want to get the EP done. That way you can at least have it recorded. If things go south with your current drummer, then you'll at least have a record that you can use to get a new drummer.

[rfurtkamp]

Just tell him you need to get the tracks done, it's been three months, and if fhe can't find the time in his schedule, you can just use the tracks you have.

Play the "it's a demo" card if he sputters.

But three months to get something done...you're wasting your time.