Testicles

[Jwar]

Yes. Beautiful magnificent testicles.


So speaking of which, I love you guys. I love that I can literally talk about anything here and almost always have a kind of understanding from others or someone who has had a similar experience.

Now onto the meat of things.

I afraid. Very, very afraid. The reason being is that recently, in the last month, I found a lump above my right testicle. It's a hard but movable lump that kind of feels like it's in my vas deferens. I had a vasectomy six or seven months ago, so I'm sure if it has something to do with that. I've read online that your vas deferens can become clogged with semen after a vasectomy. It could also be some kind of infection. Or worst case scenario, I have testicular cancer. Enter the fear.

I know that 95-99% of testicular cancer is curable, but my God. How much more do I have to endure? My dad had cancer last year, my sister is at deaths door with a diagnosis of like 7 auto immune diseases, my daughter was deathly ill last month...etc...etc. Poor old me, but seriously. Mother fucker!!! I can't have testicle cancer!!! I just can't...I'm very afraid. I've broke down and wept like a little girl more than once about this because of that fear. What is it is that and what if it's also in my abdomen or somewhere else? What if I die?

I don't have health insurance. I'm scrambling to get it before I go to the urologist. I just don't know what else to say. I needed to some kind of advise and don't know where else to turn.

[space6oy]

letterman used this guy w/ 132 lb. testicles against the time warner jackasses last night, saying he was the only thing they're airing at the moment.


http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/19/health/tl ... pt=hp_bn13

i've been through some nasty health shiz. dealing w/ more at the moment. get yours checked out dude.

[ryan summit]

shit j
i just went through thu lumpage last year
i think right before i ilfed
scary as fuck
but turned out to be epeditimitis
(just an infected tube)
so with the lump comes a prostate exam
and mine was huge
did the lump cause the big prostate?
or did the prostate cause the lump?
that was the question
turned out i have prastatitis
that caused the lump
so now i eat saw palmetto likecrazy
and get fingers up my butt on the regular
also had a lymphoma scare last year
all turned out to be not worst case scenario
but thats all you can think about
like this lymes
because of my very recent self destructive past
the things i was thinking it was was not good
every time i feel sick im convinced its endocarditis
so i know where your at right now
cause seems ever since i got clean
im rackin up the health issues
and im not used to the emotions that come woth them
especially when it has to do with mah nutz
youll pull through homes
whatever it is
try not to drive yourself crazy

and that dude was on stern yesterday^
hes all about hittin people up for money
i mean its alright
hes famous and shit
but he aint got the big balls no more
he was askin for donations for transportation
whatever i dont know what im sayin
but he wants the doctor to give him the balls
so he cansell them on ebay
what the?
ill link to the interview if anyone wants

[Jwar]

Thanks dude! I'm just psyching my self out. I'll try and relax until my appointment.


I'd love to see that link man!

[Josh Pelican]

Hopefully that shit is just epididymitis or a granuloma. Definitely hit up a urologist, man.

Is it painful or sensitive at all?

[jrmy]

I'm about seven years clean after having my right nut removed (and a month of radiation, yay!) due to ye olde testicle cancer. The big takeaway I learned was go as soon as possible to get it checked - that shot moves FAST! The good news is that it's really really really curable, especially when detected early. As I recall, I noticed it on a Monday, saw my primary Doc that Tuesday, had a bunch of tests and a visit to the urologist Wednesday, and was in surgery Friday.

Since we can talk openly about nuts, my cancer manifested as an overall even swelling of the affected testicle (without pain - that was the initial giveaway for my primary care doc). I just had one testicle that was maybe ten percent larger than the other, and kind of extra firm feeling.

A couple of months later, a friend found a lump on one of his nuts, freaked out, had it checked, and it was nothing serious at all.

So GO as soon as humanly possible. But don't freak yet, because it could just as easily be nothing at all. 100% a case of better safe than sorry.

[Achtane]

A few months ago my balls suddenly felt like they were being crushed. I waited it out for a bit, figured they would have died by then if it was torsion, and decided to go to the ER if they were still hurting the next day.
Of course they were, so I foolishly went. No insurance.
$6500 for an old dude to feel me up, then an old lady to ultrasound my junk (which, admittedly, did look super cool on the monitor), then I was given a Motrin and sent home. I should have just waited it out, but you know...they're my balls, man. I got scurr'd.

Unfortunately there's no telling when you're okay to just leave it alone and when you should actually go, so for peace of mind and nuts it's probably best just to get it checked out. Even though they will slap you with fees.

[jrmy]

The rule of thumb my urologist told me is that if there's something going on but it hurts, it's probably not cancer... but it's still worth getting checked out, 'cuz they're your balls. Fees suck like hell, but better safe than sorry fr'realz.

That said, it's totally fucked up that you got hit with those fees, Ach. But don't let that dissuade you, jwar! Go forth and get yer nuts checked!

[Deltaphoenix]

I am praying for your nuts homie!

[Jwar]

Thanks for the stories guys. They really help a lot and more than anything, that's what I was looking for. Someone to say, I've been through that and it ain't shit! Love you dudes!!

The lump isn't in my actual testicle and it's small. More in the sack underneath my penise. Hah. Penise. Anyway, it doesn't hurt, but it's uncomfortable and sometimes sore. Could be because I feel the shit everyday to make sure it hasn't moved or changed sizes.

I have to reschedule my fucking appointment which is supposed to be tomorrow though. I have to make sure I have insurance before I go just in case it is cancer. I don't think I'd ever be able to get insurance again if that was the case. They don't like pre-existing for some reason.

Thanks for the support dudes!!

[futuresailors]

One time I had a lump floatin around the sack.
Got bigger over the course of like a week.
Got to be the size of like a macadamia nut.
I was like "FUCK I'M GONNA DIIEEE"
It was an ingrown hair.

[ryan summit]

ooh had one on my shaft
got so big
blasted it off in the shower
what a goddam massacre
what was that old joke
kermit in a blender
yeah,like that

[ShaunNecro]

One time I had a lump floatin around the sack.
Got bigger over the course of like a week.
Got to be the size of like a macadamia nut.
I was like "FUCK I'M GONNA DIIEEE"
It was an ingrown hair.

Had this happen a few times as well, ridiculously painful too.

[behndy]

um.... is it weird that the ingrown hair muppet dick explosion thing made me cringe more than testicular removal?

fucking health system. needs an overhaul so damn bad.

i'll be thinking positive thoughts at your Soldier Boys all day homie. hope it's something slight.

and tiny.

..... little balls.

[greyscales]

um.... is it weird that the ingrown hair muppet dick explosion thing made me cringe more than testicular removal?

Yeah, that made me cringe more. Ingrown hairs are way more painful than you'd expect in my experience.
And there is no good way to get rid of ingrown hair.

At least with removal you don't have to do it yourself. That shit is the worst. Inflicting pain on your own junk is like some really sadistic/torturous shit.