What a terrible mom

[sonidero]

Yeah, he's in a band they could have a benefit, they could move in together they could live in a frickin commune... Kids these days... You think that the only way to live on your own is to have enough money lined up to be comfortable... I'm 36 years old and have been livin on my own since 17... Sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's hard as shit... His Mom is yellin at him to grow up and get a life and livin on your own and learnin how to survive is part of life... How did he afford all that gear, that could easily be a couple months rent... I stand by what I said 100% and if y'all have a problem get at me bruh...

[sonidero]

Sorry to repeat dubkitty, I was typing up a storm and posted right after you... There are a bunch of articles lately about this same issue with the younger Millennials and their refusal to grow up...

[jfrey]

Coming in late to the conversation, but my thought are:

1. You don't talk to people like that - regardless of any sort of reason or context. In my life I have never once spoken to anyone in such a manner, nor ever even raised my voice to anyone (you can believe that or not, and perhaps it isn't normal, but it's the truth).

2. It seems to me something of a vindictive act to take away his guitars - which prevents him from playing - as opposed to, for example taking away his amp - which would prevent him from playing loudly, if it is the noise that is in fact the problem.

3. If it is in response to disrespect on his part, from the way she behaved, I'd say that he likely learned it from her. And, someone that behaves in that way - or would speak in that way - is undeserving of much respect to begin with. His few responses to her were very meek, as in someone who has been beaten down by constant criticism or other verbal abuse, which makes me doubt that her actions are in response to his. If anything I think music is perhaps his escape.

4. I find it unlikely that she paid for his equipment. Someone that thinks music is mostly a waste of time would not put in the amount of money that the gear he owns costs. I bought my car when I was 16 - $11,000 - in cash, no loan, without any help from my parents, so I don't know why it would be unreasonable for him to have bought his gear.

5. He may just be some stupid kid, that doesn't do enough outside of practicing guitar. It's still his life, and even a parent can't force their child to live a different life than he has committed himself to.

6. I find her comments about "what he's doing for the world or for other people" entirely repulsive. But that's just me. I believe in living for yourself first, not for other people.

I say all this as someone that very nearly despises most of my own generation (I am 24) - and subsequent ones. Also, sorry this post was so long.

[Chankgeez]

[wsas3]

Yeah, he's in a band they could have a benefit, they could move in together they could live in a frickin commune... Kids these days... You think that the only way to live on your own is to have enough money lined up to be comfortable... I'm 36 years old and have been livin on my own since 17... Sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's hard as shit... His Mom is yellin at him to grow up and get a life and livin on your own and learnin how to survive is part of life... How did he afford all that gear, that could easily be a couple months rent... I stand by what I said 100% and if y'all have a problem get at me bruh...

He doesnt seem nearly the age of moving out, and I think everyone on this forum, including you, has made some not so practical decisions for gear. Can you really blame him?

[sonidero]

Yeah I make bad decisions with gear on a weekly basis, my phones been off since 1-4 and I've spent probably close to a grand on gear since then... I can still pay my rent, put food in my belly, pay electrical, and have enough left over for records weed and beer... What's your point???

[dubkitty]

the difference is that i'm not a minor child who is legally subject to the authority of my mother. children are legally required to respect the authority of their parents; in some US jurisdictions being obdurately disobedient can get your ass sent to juvenile hall. that's the bottom line. if you're a disobedient child, Mom can put the hammer down. the first lesson of life is that you don't always get to do what you want, even at home. i realize people don't want to hear that, but it's reality. he should have found a better way to deal with his mother than war, because the rules of engagement are set up so Mom always wins.

[devnulljp]

...the rules of engagement are set up so Mom always wins.

Until it's time to choose the shittiest old folks home for the senile old cow that is.

[wsas3]

Yeah I make bad decisions with gear on a weekly basis, my phones been off since 1-4 and I've spent probably close to a grand on gear since then... I can still pay my rent, put food in my belly, pay electrical, and have enough left over for records weed and beer... What's your point???

But at his age, was it the same way? I just dont think we have enough info to say that he's thrown nhis life away or w//e

[sonidero]

I didn't say that... I could care less about this guys plight... I'm just defending Mom here when most of the thread assumes she's the bad one... If he has enough money to buy equipment (which is what's assumed) and he's of age (which is unknown) he should move out and play as loud as he wants till the cops come, in his OWN place... If Mom bought the gear (probably) and she doesn't want to hear it in HER house (which seems to be the case) there is no issue, she can do what she want's with the gear (if she bought it)... It's more about her wanting him to socialize with other humans and get out of the house... That's the way I see it as I was once a guitar playin teen too... And I'm not arguing with anyone here or anything...

[wsas3]

Yeah neither am I, we're all just talking
I understand what you're saying, I just think it could've been done in a more productive manner. When she talks like that, all is does is make him harbor resentment towards her, even if she has a point.

[sonidero]

Word... You don't have to coddle a teenager... It seemed to not even faze him, like I said he didn't miss a second when she left and went right back to talkin about his efx patch... Respect is a two way street... Also I'm half Italian and we talk loud and get animated and it seems to put some people off but I don't see what she was doing as yelling... More like a pleading for her son who she want's to be proud of do something with his life tone...

I hope this kid sees all this free therapy ILF is givin...

[Gearmond]

i guess i see the situation differently than many of you. for one thing, i'm far enough removed from adolescence that i don't automatically sympathize with the kid in a kid/parent conflict any more...

Oh come on, I'm sure you could be a bit more patronising in your assumptions there granddad.

OLD MAN FIGHT


ferreal doe, dubs chill da fuk out. even if he is a dick, thats CLEARLY not how you handle that situation from the mom's perspective. the kids either got decent scratch on his own, or his dad/mom buy him shit and are just bad parents. those are the only two situations where he could have a decent amount of good gear and still have parents that are bad at parenting. so its fairly obvious the kid isn't too bad.

kids probably just another dime a dozen metal kid, and his mom is(seems) a "y'all shucks" ol country gal who takes her frustrations out on others rather than dealing with it in a different way. know plenty of folks like that, and thats probably whats goin on. she's on the stint of "why don't you go outSIDE" or w/e outdated notion of socializing parents have and the kid clearly doesn't give a shit and from what i can gather rightly so. with the two situations above, he either doesn't give a shit because he can handle himself, or doesn't give a shit because his parents facilitate his hobby this giving him no reason to take their criticism all that seriously

[devnulljp]

They could both be doing with a couple of months volunteering in a homeless shelter / refugee camp / war zone hospital if you ask me.

[Chankgeez]

They could both be doing with a couple of months volunteering in a homeless shelter / refugee camp / war zone hospital if you ask me.

There you go, best thing said in this entire thread.