It's virus time, guyz. Welcome to Pandemic.

[Achtane]

My allergies are already getting wrecked from all the tree jizz flying around, but now I have a sore throat so my 1AM brain has concluded that "lol im fuckin dead now arent i".

I gotta see if I can remotely talk to a psychiatrist. I've needed to forever but lately my anxiety level is at like 1000% instead of the usual 700%.

[Dowi]

Tomorrow will be a week of working remotely from home..
here is the view I has out my window

well, that's better than having just another building in front of you

I’m on day 37 of self isolation. It’s miserable, and it makes me really mad knowing so many people here have stopped caring. Community spread is on the rise again and people here are acting like it’s only visiting foreigners who are getting sick. They just indefinitely post-poned all in-person classes, and the number of new cases still isn’t going down. The more people go out and don’t care, the longer this bullshit’s going to go on.

That's just stupid. I was talking about this yesterday: so far people here are respecting the new social distance guidelines, but i don't know how long they're gonna resist, as the numer of cases has just started to slowly reduce.

My allergies are already getting wrecked from all the tree jizz flying around, but now I have a sore throat so my 1AM brain has concluded that "lol im fuckin dead now arent i".

I gotta see if I can remotely talk to a psychiatrist. I've needed to forever but lately my anxiety level is at like 1000% instead of the usual 700%.

Allergy sucks, maybe just staying inside with closed windows could help you a bit? (i know it's not the greatest thing..)

[coldbrightsunlight]

My allergies are already getting wrecked from all the tree jizz flying around, but now I have a sore throat so my 1AM brain has concluded that "lol im fuckin dead now arent i".

I gotta see if I can remotely talk to a psychiatrist. I've needed to forever but lately my anxiety level is at like 1000% instead of the usual 700%.

I've been doing skype appointments with my therapist recently. It still works and I gather that most are still doing it (only way they can work right now...) so definitely give this a try!

[oldangelmidnight]

I’m on day 37 of self isolation. It’s miserable, and it makes me really mad knowing so many people here have stopped caring. Community spread is on the rise again and people here are acting like it’s only visiting foreigners who are getting sick. They just indefinitely post-poned all in-person classes, and the number of new cases still isn’t going down. The more people go out and don’t care, the longer this bullshit’s going to go on.

We talk about flattening the curve but it seems like it's really going to be waves and waves that come at unpredictable times as people keep changing their behavior.

[Jwar]

From what I read, there is no flattening the curve. There is delaying the progress. That's it. It it to buy us time so that we can get to warm months and hopefully have a fucking treatment after those are done with.


My uncle is currently in ICU with it on a ventilator. His wife (my aunt) has lung cancer too. I don't even know what to say about it other than this fucking sucks ass. He's been down for 3 weeks, barely moving, not improving much. They have him on anti malaria drugs and antibiotics. Hopefully that saves his life.



Home schooling is going ok so far here. It's a fucking joke, but it's going well. I'm getting a taste of what people can get away with academically if they do homeschool. I talked to my sister about it who does it and has for years and years and she said with little ones, that's normal. It's 2 hours and takes them like 30 minutes. There is a schedule but the schedule fucks me up.

I'm losing my mind right now, worst time.


I probably said this, but I feel incredibly selfish right now too. I'm sad and I feel like I don't have a right to be because I'm ok.


Here's why if you're interested. I had just got a job after almost a decade of self employment and was starting to socialize again. It had been 6 weeks and I was starting to feel confident again, happier, I had a purpose and now...I have a purpose obviously, but fuck. I needed this for my fucking mental health. I don't know how to express that otherwise. I need to be around other humans sometimes. I'm lonely in a crowed room anyway.

I'm scared as well. As a property owner, I'm scared. A lot of people are not able to afford rents now, which is really shitty for them and me. During times like this, I work with people but if I have enough (and keep in mind I'm not a huge guy. I have 7 total doors and one has been down for 3 months from a tenant doing 10k in damages to it), I'm fucked. It would take 3 months to sink me completely to bankruptcy. The worst part about it is I keep seeing people I'm friends with calling for rent strikes and doing in a hostile manner towards people like me? Right? No. I had this discussion with my brother last night. We are both "landlords" and we are both fearful. I told him that the issue is that we got into a business full of fucking sleazy, scummy motherfuckers and now we get lumped in with them because of that. If I could turn back the fucking clock man...It suck for everyone. If they can't pay, I can't make them because of eviction bans but also I can't because I'm human and if someone lost their job, I just can't. I'm notoriously bad at being what most people would consider a good landlord. Meaning I'm too human. I'm in the wrong business. I want out. Fuck this shit. I want to do good with my life. Good. I want to have a future too.

I'm so distraught. So depressed.


What are you all doing for this kind shit? I talked to my wife about talking with a doctor via web cam or something.

[coldbrightsunlight]

As noted above skype/whatever appointments with doctors/therapists/whoever are definitely happening so that option is there if you need it.

I am definitely team "anti-most landlords" and definitely "anti-housing provision systems which lead to people struggling to make rent on a regular basis even when they're working" with the caveat that some landlords are in fact nice people and this is hard for them too. And even the ones who aren't nice people, if the landlords go down then tenants won't be much better off... This is a very redundant statement now, but this situation sucks entirely.

[themeanreds]

From what I read, there is no flattening the curve. There is delaying the progress. That's it. It it to buy us time so that we can get to warm months and hopefully have a fucking treatment after those are done with.


My uncle is currently in ICU with it on a ventilator. His wife (my aunt) has lung cancer too. I don't even know what to say about it other than this fucking sucks ass. He's been down for 3 weeks, barely moving, not improving much. They have him on anti malaria drugs and antibiotics. Hopefully that saves his life.



Home schooling is going ok so far here. It's a fucking joke, but it's going well. I'm getting a taste of what people can get away with academically if they do homeschool. I talked to my sister about it who does it and has for years and years and she said with little ones, that's normal. It's 2 hours and takes them like 30 minutes. There is a schedule but the schedule fucks me up.

I'm losing my mind right now, worst time.


I probably said this, but I feel incredibly selfish right now too. I'm sad and I feel like I don't have a right to be because I'm ok.


Here's why if you're interested. I had just got a job after almost a decade of self employment and was starting to socialize again. It had been 6 weeks and I was starting to feel confident again, happier, I had a purpose and now...I have a purpose obviously, but fuck. I needed this for my fucking mental health. I don't know how to express that otherwise. I need to be around other humans sometimes. I'm lonely in a crowed room anyway.

I'm scared as well. As a property owner, I'm scared. A lot of people are not able to afford rents now, which is really shitty for them and me. During times like this, I work with people but if I have enough (and keep in mind I'm not a huge guy. I have 7 total doors and one has been down for 3 months from a tenant doing 10k in damages to it), I'm fucked. It would take 3 months to sink me completely to bankruptcy. The worst part about it is I keep seeing people I'm friends with calling for rent strikes and doing in a hostile manner towards people like me? Right? No. I had this discussion with my brother last night. We are both "landlords" and we are both fearful. I told him that the issue is that we got into a business full of fucking sleazy, scummy motherfuckers and now we get lumped in with them because of that. If I could turn back the fucking clock man...It suck for everyone. If they can't pay, I can't make them because of eviction bans but also I can't because I'm human and if someone lost their job, I just can't. I'm notoriously bad at being what most people would consider a good landlord. Meaning I'm too human. I'm in the wrong business. I want out. Fuck this shit. I want to do good with my life. Good. I want to have a future too.

I'm so distraught. So depressed.


What are you all doing for this kind shit? I talked to my wife about talking with a doctor via web cam or something.

A. Love to you and your family (and tenants). To all of you and your families.

B. Slowing progress is exactly what flattening the curve is. Since eliminating it entirely is not possible, we do what we can to dilute rates of transmission, and spread them out into a months long slow(er) burn instead of having a healthcare system/society-collapsing wildfire. Apologies if you already know this, and i’m just nerdsplaining.

C. Feeling sad and horrible is NOT selfish. We need to step back and allow ourselves to acknowledge and process the enormity of what is going on. If you are like me and almost everyone else I know right now, the delayed reaction to this crisis is kicking in, and you are feeling some of the stuff that, consciously or otherwise, you have not been allowing yourself to feel due to having to power through the dawn of the crisis combined with the shock of realizing what is actually happening. Selfish would be one not dealing with things emotionally so as to not risk piercing whatever facade of manliness one has constructed. That would be choosing ego over self-care, and care for one’s people.

If having a family or others depending on you is messing with your head: Emotional and mental distress is like loss of cabin pressure in an airplane. You need to put your mask on first. You need to take care of yourself so that you are available and able to take care of your people.

D. I’ve been a real estate agent for 15 years. I am similarly terrible at my job, in that I have a consistent record of deliberately burning bridges with shirty landlords, accepting less money when I know I could have gotten more, and otherwise leaving shitloads of money on the table rather than be a raging sociopath. For the rental side of my business, I work with a small roster of landlords whom I trust to do the right thing, and treat their tenants like humans, and their tenant’ apartments like homes. Take away the bigoted landlords, the liars, the slumlords, the all-around assholes, and a small roster is all that is left. I LOVE these landlords, not just for not being terrible, but for being good actors in a realm in which being a bad actor is often highly profitable, and rarely accountable.

I’ll say this, though: being a small-time landlord bears a lot of similarity to being a professional musician: it’s risky if all of your eggs are in that basket. You made the right move in diversifying your employment. Covid has fucked that up for the time being, but it will be a great thread to pick back up when things start lurching towards whatever normalcy looks like in a few months.

E. I would be 100x the mess I am now were it not for my therapist. It can a few tries to find the right one, but I can not recommend highly enough starting the process. Ask friends for referrals, but even if it means just picking some shrinks from the Psychology Today listings, just go for it. Make some calls, send some emails, and get the ball rolling. Every step of the process of finding a therapist will help you feel at least a little bit better.

[Jwar]

Corona virus took my uncle this morning. I'm so fucked up right now over this. He was sick, his oxygen was coming back up, then he died. The EMS mind in me knew he was going to die because he was at 80% oxygen consumption for over 24 hours (that's cell death and irreversible organ damage). I've been crying all morning. I'm losing my fucking mind. I just can't do this anymore. Its' so fucked up. I'm starting to cry right now just thinking again about it. We can't even have a funeral...this fucking sucks so bad. I loved him. Fuck.

[themeanreds]

I’m so, so sorry.

[echorec]

Sorry for your loss, Adam.

[frodog]

Much love, sorry to hear that Jwar.

[Pepe]

I feel for you, man.

[retinal orbita]

A few musings....

I feel like our typically shit for brains Conservative Premier has actually handled Ontario pretty well during the pandemic. I dunno about perfect, but I'd consider myself as left as humanly possible (what you yanks would call "a Bernie Bro Commie" or some shit) and praising Doug Ford is about the last thing I'd ever do. But it seems like he's actually been pretty pro-active in helping manage it. Maybe I'm wrong? I like to be surprised.

I shut down my discogs store as shipping is sketchy everywhere. It's great! I don't have to deal with a billions requests for shipping and pack stuff up and go to the post office and fucking wads claiming they never got their stuff etc. I doubt I'll go back. I'll probably figure out a way to move the rest of my unwanted albums another way some day?

I always kept an eye out for bands looking for a bass player thinking I'd like to join another one at some point. I think I'm over it? I really like just being at home with my wife? All our friends have moved out of the city, had kids or both so our pre-quarantine routine is exactly the same as before. But now I'm not even looking, just recording shitty noise is my horrible basement and buying enough groceries for two weeks at a time so I'm not always going to the gall-danged grocery store.....

[oldangelmidnight]

just recording shitty noise is my horrible basement and buying enough groceries for two weeks at a time so I'm not always going to the gall-danged grocery store.....

[01010111]

I sorry for your loss, Jwar