I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
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- Bloodhammer
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I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
I'm not sure how I want to go about doing so yet, but I'm thinking I'd like to become an insufferable hipster. I can't grow a lumberjack beard, but I could don a hat and start being really pretentious about music and beer. Well, I could don a hat and start being really pretentious about beer. Metal snobbery FTW. Any suggestions? There are so many things to consider. Maybe I should join the Church of Satan and PETA. Or get Harvey Weinstein's face tattooed on my junk.
- $harkToootth
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Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
Take notes from this guy. He really gets himself worked up in this video.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlEjgaezVrA[/youtube]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlEjgaezVrA
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
- $harkToootth
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Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
I don't know why but the premise of this thread reminds me of this.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1kmZVMqeiI[/youtube]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1kmZVMqeiI
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1kmZVMqeiI[/youtube]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1kmZVMqeiI
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
- JonnyAngle
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Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
It’s better if you try to grow a beard since you can’t. The pube-beards are the most hipster
Website:
http://www.droppingacidpedaletching.com
Music:
https://jonnyangle.bandcamp.com
Shark Tank:
viewforum.php?f=277
http://www.droppingacidpedaletching.com
Music:
https://jonnyangle.bandcamp.com
Shark Tank:
viewforum.php?f=277
- Bloodhammer
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Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
Yeah, that dude is fairly off-putting. The Burzum shirt really brings it all together for him. I wonder if I could combine that kind of cheerio-pissing with the most cliche qualities of aroma therapists and crust punks.
- Bloodhammer
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Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
I can grow a great mustache. You've seen pics of me. I twirl that shit at the ends 'til I look like an old west pimp.JonnyAngle wrote:It’s better if you try to grow a beard since you can’t. The pube-beards are the most hipster
- $harkToootth
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Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
You could complain about "how hard it is to make your living as an artist" but live in a $2000/Month apartment and not work a job. That's one of my favorites.
General elitism is good. Really just pick any diet with a self contained aesthetic system and use it for virtue points.
Here's a great one! Story top people...for everything...bonus points if it didn't actually happen. Just talk down to people and pretend it did...it makes it true.
Am I missing anything???
You also be part 'of a scene' and for whatever said 'scene' is talk about how it was better in the early days.
General elitism is good. Really just pick any diet with a self contained aesthetic system and use it for virtue points.
Here's a great one! Story top people...for everything...bonus points if it didn't actually happen. Just talk down to people and pretend it did...it makes it true.
Am I missing anything???
You also be part 'of a scene' and for whatever said 'scene' is talk about how it was better in the early days.
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
- Blackened Soul
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- $harkToootth
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Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018

"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
- snipelfritz
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Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
Keep the look relatively clean and become a Tinder fuccboi.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
Behndy wrote:i don't like people with "talent" and "skills" that don't feel the need to cover their inadequacies under good time happy sounds.
- echorec
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Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
That reminded me of this.$harkToootth wrote:I don't know why but the premise of this thread reminds me of this.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1kmZVMqeiI[/youtube]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1kmZVMqeiI
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jr2gdPY-88w[/youtube]
- adamajah
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Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
sadly we're in a time when hipsters are the least bastardy of the bastard race. Aim higher man!
- $harkToootth
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Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
@rec - I'm speechless... 
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
- $harkToootth
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- Posts: 5861
- Joined: Fri May 06, 2016 3:28 pm
- Location: FACING IT!!!
Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
@Bloodhammer - Get a Nu Screamer and all this will be done.
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
- Bloodhammer
- committed

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- Location: Shreveport, Louisiana
Re: I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018
These are all great suggestions. I don't have a trust fund, though. Maybe I should start a kickstarter.$harkToootth wrote:You could complain about "how hard it is to make your living as an artist" but live in a $2000/Month apartment and not work a job. That's one of my favorites.
General elitism is good. Really just pick any diet with a self contained aesthetic system and use it for virtue points.
Here's a great one! Story top people...for everything...bonus points if it didn't actually happen. Just talk down to people and pretend it did...it makes it true.
Am I missing anything???
You also be part 'of a scene' and for whatever said 'scene' is talk about how it was better in the early days.
Also, keep in mind I'm still not 100% committed to the hipster angle at this early stage. It's definitely appalling, but there are still a lot of options to explore. I feel like I've already got militant atheism down to an art form. That and my aversion to comic book-based movies are things I feel like I should continue to build on to be all the bastard I can be. I'm definitely going to start being smug about being a *insert dietary lifestyle here*.