Loud Neighbors: What do you do?

[Chankgeez]

I agree with the general tenor of this thread. Escalation, SPL arms race, MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION. It's been a long time since I lived in an apartment, but I used to tell my wife that loud neighbors were a free pass for me jam loud. It's the rule of mutual disrespect.

Yeah, Ive done this before. Makes you feel better, but doesn't solve the problem.

Unfortunately, this's probably the best advice you'll get in this thread (wise words from drolo):

Noisy neighbors can be a bitch ... especially if you start focusing on only that and become super sensitive to the tiniest noise after a while
at least that's what happened to me
last year we moved out of a house we had bought 3 years before because the one next to ours had 8 kids roaming about without parent supervision most of the day and late into the evening. plus their shit covered cat constantly sneaked into our house to eat our cat's food and pee all over ...
we tried different approaches but in the end there was just nothing we could do about it but leave
I am super happy we did though as I really like where we live now but I hope you will be able to find a solution

[comesect2.0]

sometimes you cant just leave and you gotta show some sack. like a deer stomps its foot like a skunk skuttles about in a circle....you must prove your ground is where you stand and you aint takin dat fuckin shyit YOU HEAR ME! I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP! (throws biscuit at window)

[Chankgeez]

We aren't allowed to pound on the walls or go talk to them about it (that's in the rental agreement).

[drolo]

sometimes you cant just leave and you gotta show some sack. like a deer stomps its foot like a skunk skuttles about in a circle....you must prove your ground is where you stand and you aint takin dat fuckin shyit YOU HEAR ME! I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP! (throws biscuit at window)

but I would only advise doing that if you have my fighting skills:

[Ugly Nora]

..

[Kacey Y]

It's also worth point out that it's possible, as an adult, to ask someone to not make noise without screaming and/or telling them to shut the fuck up. You can go knock on their door, introduce yourself, and express your concerns in a direct but polite way while communicating that you're aware you make noise too and are open to compromises. You can always throw in a "feel free to let me know if I'm being too loud and you need some quiet". If they choose to be dicks, then you explore other options, but they might respond positively to being treated with understanding and respect. At least it has happened before.

[Invisible Man]

All joking aside: I have had drum kits in every place I have lived as an adult (six apartments and two houses). I have always introduced myself early as someone who plays drums, give them my number, and tell them not to hesitate to call me if there's an issue or if they need some quiet time. I also looked to see when people were gone so I could rip it, and tried to do that. Granted, my work schedule was unbelievable until a couple years ago (worked/studied from home 90% of the time), but I only ever had an issue once, and that was when I lived above a business.

Doesn't really help you except to point out how wonderful I am and that your neighbors are asshats.

[01010111]

It's also worth point out that it's possible, as an adult, to ask someone to not make noise without screaming and/or telling them to shut the fuck up. You can go knock on their door, introduce yourself, and express your concerns in a direct but polite way while communicating that you're aware you make noise too and are open to compromises. You can always throw in a "feel free to let me know if I'm being too loud and you need some quiet". If they choose to be dicks, then you explore other options, but they might respond positively to being treated with understanding and respect. At least it has happened before.

We aren't allowed to pound on the walls or go talk to them about it (that's in the rental agreement).

[mathias]

I've found that escalation and asking them to stop never works. Calling the cops (in my case, it was an asshole boyfriend who didn't even live there, who would end up hitting the woman who lived downstairs) never did anything because they just turned off the lights and wouldn't answer the door when the cops showed up.

The answer always seems to be to get serious with the landlord about it, or move. IMHO.

[Chankgeez]

We aren't allowed to pound on the walls or go talk to them about it (that's in the rental agreement).

Are you allowed to leave a note (which may be perceived as passive-aggressive, but your rental agreement leaves you few choices) or is that considered "talking"?

[aedes]

INFRASOUND. They won't hear it, but they'll think they have ghosts.

[actual]

or move. IMHO.

But then you lose.

[Kacey Y]

We aren't allowed to pound on the walls or go talk to them about it (that's in the rental agreement).

So what? Talk to them, what are the possible outcomes?

- Nothing changes, but they don't complain to the landlord. Everything stays as is, choose to stay and suffer or leave.

- They listen and quiet down, things improve.

- They don't listen and call the landlord. Things don't improve and you leave.

What's the alternative? Be passive or passive aggressive and/or leave? Might as well be assertive and polite, since it's the only course of action that could lead directly to an improvement, barring blind luck that they suddenly change their behavior or move out and luck isn't a strategy. I'd rather make a proactive decision, even if it was just to leave because the place sucks and has no reasonable means to fix problems among neighbors.

[01010111]

We aren't allowed to pound on the walls or go talk to them about it (that's in the rental agreement).

So what? Talk to them, what are the possible outcomes?

- Nothing changes, but they don't complain to the landlord. Everything stays as is, choose to stay and suffer or leave.

- They listen and quiet down, things improve.

- They don't listen and call the landlord. Things don't improve and you leave.

What's the alternative? Be passive or passive aggressive and/or leave? Might as well be assertive and polite, since it's the only course of action that could lead directly to an improvement, barring blind luck that they suddenly change their behavior or move out and luck isn't a strategy. I'd rather make a proactive decision, even if it was just to leave because the place sucks and has no reasonable means to fix problems among neighbors.

I can't talk to them because I don't want to be labelled as a hostile tenant. Around here it's super hard to get into an apartment, even if you have good rental history and credit. Having a single sound complaint means you can't get accepted to a lot of places here.

[Kacey Y]

Ok, that's a completely foreign experience to me. I never met a landlord in my life that cared about any factor other than money (12 mo lease minimum, first last and deposit up front, with a credit check). If talking to your neighbor could get you blacklisted from obtaining shelter, just move.