So I go to Portland to meet D.o.S.,

[casecandy]

and after a long time of playing phone tag, he replies to my texts! We're gonna go to Bull Moose Records and get beer at a bar that sounds super hipstery! "Navare Res." I had to look it up. All I could remember was that it sounded like Dave Navarro. In my starry-eyed naivité, I was so excited.

So I didn't eat anything all day and I didn't buy any records at Newbury Comics because I'm broke and wanted to save my money for hanging out with a fellow ILFer...?

So my mom and her friend go to see Milk Carton Kids for her 55th birthday and I just wander around...?

And then D.o.S. texts me and says, "I've got a crazy deadline, so I'm gonna have to catch you another time." I was like, "Hey, no problem dude, I get it."

But between you and me, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT?! I mean what a flake, right? "Working" at his "job." Unbelievable. Cue "Sounds of Silence."

So I realized that literally NOTHING is open in Portland, ME, on a Wednesday night, but then I remember that if you keep going towards the Waterfront, somewhere, there's this little sports bar with 20 oz. beers for $1.95...?

And I found it! And it's total trash. I was supposed to hang out in Dave Navarro's Rez Bar but NOOOOOO, instead, because of D.o.S., I downed 20 oz. after 20 oz. of Bass beer, COMPLETELY ALONE, MIND YOU, while the bartender drooooooned on about how she's learning how to use Ableton and how she's "on a musical journey" and "looking to become a producer." Ugh.

After many of those beers on an empty stomach, I sat a little longer listening to a tableful of Asian girls playing "I Never." When they got to "I never dated a white boy" I told them "There's a first time for everything!" as I stumbled out the door. Then I left to go meet my mom.

I was feeling just awful because I recently used a whole jar of Manic Panic After Midnight Blue on my hair but I forgot to bleach it first and it didn't take and it just looks grey except for my sideburns which didn't take at all so I'm walking drunk through the streets of Portland which blue-grey-blonde hair and when I got to the waterfront I took pictures of a fishing boat under the moon and I said goodnight to the salty Atlantic. I actually said "Goodnight, Atlantic" out loud.

And then I got into a moving vehicle and felt like puking the whole way home. Later my mom told me that my fishing boat pictures sucked. Thanks, D.o.S. I sure hope that "article" was worth me vomiting all over my mom's friend's yard at 6:00 AM!

And to add insult to injury, "next time" I'm in Portland, he'll be "overseas for ILF EU"! Hmph. A likely story.

Please share all the ways that this man has hurt you so we can commiserate

[space6oy]

And then D.o.S. texts me and says, "I've got a crazy deadline, so I'm gonna have to catch you another time."

that was to hook up w/ your mom.

[pd~]

If you want to make D.o.S vomit in return just talk about how you listen to Wiretap Scars more than anything from ATDI or TMV.

[resincum]

just as planned....

[kbit]

Sane thing happened to me when I went to meet up with mattycakes. More or less

[casecandy]

If you want to make D.o.S vomit in return just talk about how you listen to Wiretap Scars more than anything from ATDI or TMV.

This isn't... true... for everybody?

[casecandy]

And then D.o.S. texts me and says, "I've got a crazy deadline, so I'm gonna have to catch you another time."

that was to hook up w/ your mom.

[Blackened Soul]

http://mainetoday.com/do-this-2/live-ch ... is-summer/


any of those gotta be better than drinking.... beer...

[casecandy]

http://mainetoday.com/do-this-2/live-cheap-free-things-to-do-in-maine-this-summer/

any of those gotta be better than drinking.... beer...

LOL, it's *possible* that this story was a bit exaggerated? I mean, the events are factual, just not my attitude. I really enjoyed talking to the bartender about Ableton.

I go to Portland quite a bit actually, I'm sure I'll see old Ronnie James D.o. eventually

I do love outdoor screenings of old timey movies though

[D.o.S.]

Sane thing happened to me when I went to meet up with mattycakes. More or less

That's true, actually.

If you have my phone number I have a 63% chance of actually being able to meet plans that I make. I feel like that's a safe margin.

[Iommic Pope]

It's ok, I'm taking requests for evil shit to do to him when he's in Oz.
Payback is a bitch.

[blakestree]

If you want to make D.o.S vomit in return just talk about how you listen to Wiretap Scars more than anything from ATDI or TMV.

[Chankgeez]

Later my mom told me that my fishing boat pictures sucked.

Well, at least now we have the title for our playlist of all the music D.o.S. hates!

[D.o.S.]

It's ok, I'm taking requests for evil shit to do to him when he's in Oz.
Payback is a bitch.

So far it seems like you have to strand me somewhere and force me to drink a lot of cheap beer.

Sounds horrible. Who would do such a thing.

[Iommic Pope]

Oh the things you will learn.....