Please Delete

[goroth]

I have tried to write a decent response since you posted this Chuck, but everything just sounded flippant or insincere.

I just feel for ya buddy and wish you all the best.

[Jwar]

Bailing on the relationship sucks but it sounds like maybe she is a toxic person and you'll be better off. I mean, I would hate for someone to constantly list out my short comings. Like I don't know them. So I think that part is actually a good thing for you, even though it will suck for awhile.

As far as the other. Well, really it depends on what you want out of life. Independence is nice for sure. Living paycheck to paycheck sucks ass, but most people do it. So having your own place can give you peace of mind. If you don't love your job, just always be looking. You don't have to actively apply places, but keep your eyes and ears open. Opportunity comes at the weirdest times. So you never know, you could be in a much better place in a year after struggling. This also sucks, but sometimes it's just the way things are.

Now if you were to live with your parent, would they aid you in anyway? Could you use that time to maybe get a certificate in a job you'd rather have? Like online or whatever. I personally would not want to live with my parents, but that's because they are dicks most of the time. If your parents are cool, it could help out even without having a place to work. I know you said the nearest place is an hour away. That sucks ass. Would they help you get that car running? I mean, an hour drive is fucking awful for work, but I used to do it everyday. I made like 20k a year and drove that far everyday for like 2 years. I hated it, but I got used to it.

I don't. Hard decisions man. But all that really matters is what you want. What does your heart tell you?

[casecandy]

Can't really comment, sounds like a horrible situation to be in.

Consider this more condolence, than advice.

If you manage to traverse 2,500 KM of frozen Canadian highway, I can offer you the guest room...

[popvulture]

Agree with Jwar... someone who's going to be constantly hard on you about the things you struggle with is not a contributor to a healthy or kind relationship. Before I stopped drinking, I was once in a relationship with a girl who used to make me feel horrible about the fact that I drank too much. She could have easily helped me work through a problem that I fully admitted I had, but instead chose to scold me. It didn't turn out well. Needless to say, I'm more than glad that I'm no longer with her, and that I'm with a lot, lot better person now.

The plus side: better, more understanding ones come along. I promise you they do. Sorry to hear about this stuff, man. Rough.

[resincum]

hey chuck, sorry to hear. you deserve better than that and I honestly think you'll be better off without this person in your life.. I would avoid couch surfing at all costs unless you have some good homies willing to help you out for a while. if you don't have a plan to get your car stable, I would try and move with my rents.. I only say that, because mine have been willing to help me out after coming forward with them about some serious shit.. but like jwar said if they're down to help you while you progress/work towards a trade or ANYTHING to better yourself, that will be cool. fuck being stagnant living check to check.. if there's an opportunity to invest in a FUTURE, go for it..

[Jakezor]

She has done this thing since the second or third month we've been together where she gets frustrated and sits me down to lay out all of my shortcomings. It is like a relationship intervention. In the past, it was a simple formula: she would get quiet for a day or two, drink more than usual, go out for drinks with her mother, come home buzzed, and sit me down to tell me what a fuck up I am. I would profusely apologize and promise to change. Rinse and repeat

Just my opinion,
But that sounds like she just beats you down to show you your place. I certainly hope she reflected on her short comings and also praised your better qualities too. Otherwise it sounds more stockholm syndrome than a relationship.

ETA:
Sorry I don't want to only beat you down either, your car issue is certainly trying and like others have said you should involve the law with what your ex is doing.

[chuckjaywalk]

Update. Car still not running. Parents can't or won't help. If my car isn't running by Sunday, I lose my job. I am at the end of my rope.

[hbombgraphics]

Dude, checking with some friends on the car thing, can you post some pics here of the issue. you might find a car person on ILF who can impart some knowledge

[decomposing]

sendinggoodvibesman
hopefully somebody can help you DIY your car back to life
there's always unemployment and food stamps. sucks but... so does not eating.

[Hyphen Nation]

First, I am really sorry to hear you are going through this. Fucking blows.
I think Jwar is totally spot on in his post. A lot of folks have already pointed out that your relationship sounds like you need to get out.

It also sounds like your job isn't awesome. I like Jwar's suggestion a whole bunch, about seeing if you can live with your folks to create the opportunity for a reboot? If the job isn't great, etc, it sounds like you may need to find a way to re-invest in yourself and how you create your career path. If your folks will give you a roof and provide you with the space you need to reset your career, that may be ideal. There's gotta be a community college near where your parents are moving? Look at what is paying well and still has demand. For example, here in Oregon, people who can help with wind energy have solid job prospects.

I completely hear you say that you are at the end of your rope, and I don't want to minimize that at all, but it might be valuable to take half a day or a day, go to a coffee shop and focus on what you want next. Take the time to figure out what moves you. We can be supportive, and try and help you in any way, but ultimately you have to figure this out for yourself.

For what it's worth, it gets better. I had $50 in my bank account at one time in my late 20's. I overdrew my account buying toothpaste. It's taken me a while, but you can find an ideal situation for yourself. Focus on what you need to focus on to get things in balance and working for you. And seriously, don't spend time with someone who sounds like they just want to tear you down. This is one of my favorite William Burroughs' quotes around this sort of thing: "If, after spending time with a person, you feel as though you've lost a quart of plasma, avoid that person in the future."

And seriously, you've got a small army of friends on here who are ready to mobilize and support. Get back on here if you start feeling overwhelmed.

[chuckjaywalk]

I got the car running. Feeling a little better. I will write more tonight.

[resincum]

[goroth]

I got the car running. Feeling a little better. I will write more tonight.

Fucken Yeah bro!

[chamberpain]

If Kentucky becomes a reality, I know there are a few ILFers in this state. Reach out if you need a like minded person who's familiar with the region.

[chuckjaywalk]

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