Decommisioning The Ballzors (Vasecto talk!)

[D.o.S.]

Way too reasonable.

In a perfect world you'd have enough free space to finish as you put the car into park and take the keys out of the ignition.

[Thylacine Dream]

Dude, I have such a huge sex drive that I gotta be down to take care of business wherever. Still haven't done it on a plane though...

Haha, I basically have to every time I fly, nothin like boredom and claustrophobia to get the dick hard.

[behndy]

lol. love it.

"oof. tight spaces? yeahhhhhhh... i'm.... i'm phobic. but in a SECHSY way. it's my.... SexLexia if you will."

[BitchPudding]

Man, this thread is making me wanna hug my balls extra tight tonight.

[Iommic Pope]

Sexlexia. I'm nominating that for next DSM revision.
Totally a thing.
There's nothing wrong with it.
But at some point, you may need help with it.

[behndy]

update: vigorous humping leads to puffy, perhaps fluid filled scrotal sack.

was.... kinda neat actually. my Peen Accessories Handbag was..... almost perfectly spherical. and FULL feeling. made me feel like i was doing saline injection play. without the needles!

after ice and mellowness things reverted to their normal Droopy state. Droopy is capitalized on purpose because, except when they're cold enough to draw tight to my body, my dangly bits have always reminded me of a peach colored version of Tex Avery's Droopy's face.

i've..... totally NEVER drawn eyes with a marker to complete the illusion.

[Thylacine Dream]

update: vigorous humping leads to puffy, perhaps fluid filled scrotal sack.

was.... kinda neat actually. my Peen Accessories Handbag was..... almost perfectly spherical. and FULL feeling. made me feel like i was doing saline injection play. without the needles!

after ice and mellowness things reverted to their normal Droopy state. Droopy is capitalized on purpose because, except when they're cold enough to draw tight to my body, my dangly bits have always reminded me of a peach colored version of Tex Avery's Droopy's face.

i've..... totally NEVER drawn eyes with a marker to complete the illusion.

You need to be documenting all this photographically to show your grandkids where they never came from and the struggle it entailed.

I don't mean to derail, but since we're balltalkin already, my right testicle and kidney have been hurting and I'm wondering if it's kidney stones or something.

[behndy]

oh noooo a derail please noooo i am so careful to never go off topic in anybody else's thread how DARE you.

oof. GET. THEM. CHECKED.

[behndy]

also yeshhhhhhh. was actually considering having my 20th post surgery sploop find it's way on to black construction paper. frame it so i could post that as a response any time someone overspams their spawn pics on FB.

because CLASSY.

[Thylacine Dream]

also yeshhhhhhh. was actually considering having my 20th post surgery sploop find it's way on to black construction paper. frame it so i could post that as a response any time someone overspams their spawn pics on FB.

because CLASSY.

Yes. You can make people with sperm or you can make art with it; which is better?

[behndy]

PEOPLE ART.

[ShaunNecro]

So, apparently you can get a vasectomy at planned parenthood. I'm gonna go check that out sometime soon.

[behndy]

yeshhhhhhh. they probably are way less weird about the age thing.

i mean, yeah. maybe 25ish? i dunno. it's an odd thing. you're an adult at 18 for some things, 21 for others, and i want the gub'ment having no say ever at all in what i do to my body, but an irreversible procedure at 18 is..... mebbe a huge life decision for that young a human?

[Strange Tales]

I'm glad 18 year old me made no irreversible life decisions. Fuck 18 year old me.

21 year old me was too high and drunk to care about life. I miss that.

[behndy]

SO MANY HEINZ KETCHUP TATTOOS.