The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread...

[PanicProne]

Laid to rest a band of mine which had been going on for over a decade a few months back. It's been absolutely heartbreaking. I've exhausted myself to make it work over the years to the point that it eventually became the absolute opposite of therapeutic, fun and inspiring. I extreemely seldom have trouble sleeping but have had because of the state of everything before I decide to just call it off. A big reason being our collective inability (obviously i'm gonna say it's mostly the others fault, from my perspective) to communicate. I've tried every possible tactic, always being honest and putting myself out there, trying to "lead by example" but gotten absolutely nothing in return as far as long term actions or any words at all really. Tried my hardest to end it on a nice note too but now suddenly people are starting to talk (while they couldn't for years) and it's not in a nice way. Pulling the plug absolutely felt like the right and only thing to do, but it sucks how it has to get infected when you put your all into it trying to make it work for so long and even end on good terms and it doesn't.

[coupleonapkins]

Laid to rest a band of mine which had been going on for over a decade a few months back. It's been absolutely heartbreaking. I've exhausted myself to make it work over the years to the point that it eventually became the absolute opposite of therapeutic, fun and inspiring. I extreemely seldom have trouble sleeping but have had because of the state of everything before I decide to just call it off. A big reason being our collective inability (obviously i'm gonna say it's mostly the others fault, from my perspective) to communicate. I've tried every possible tactic, always being honest and putting myself out there, trying to "lead by example" but gotten absolutely nothing in return as far as long term actions or any words at all really. Tried my hardest to end it on a nice note too but now suddenly people are starting to talk (while they couldn't for years) and it's not in a nice way. Pulling the plug absolutely felt like the right and only thing to do, but it sucks how it has to get infected when you put your all into it trying to make it work for so long and even end on good terms and it doesn't.

This happened to me recently, but with a long term friend. Still stings, and probably will for good long while, but as someone who didn't believe that just parting ways ever was a good idea, having done just that makes me wonder why I didn't do that in the past. In terms of growth, everything has an end, naturally, and if you can't communicate, or if the other parties are not willing to, sometimes the least destructive way to do so i just to end it. My situation is still messing with my brain, but mostly out of having to relearn my life apart from that person, and trying to not let myself be so reliant on whatever that situation filled in my life (not a great pattern, for the long term, and it just became destructive for both of us). In my heart of hearts, we all could talk and hug it out and shake hands, but the reality is that an impasse can happen in any relationship, especially when being hardheaded is a quality you see as a strength in both yourself and the other people. Never thought I'd be the person to set the building aflame and walk away, so to speak, and it's a weird feeling, but it beats whatever unassailable middle/question mark that just hung in the air. But then I remember how much I love endings, because they're also entries into other places, and leave room for better things along the way. You can't please everybody, and not everybody's gonna make it through those doors, right? Progress is supposed to be painful, even if there's collateral damage, sometimes.

[D.o.S.]

Laid to rest a band of mine which had been going on for over a decade a few months back. It's been absolutely heartbreaking. I've exhausted myself to make it work over the years to the point that it eventually became the absolute opposite of therapeutic, fun and inspiring. I extreemely seldom have trouble sleeping but have had because of the state of everything before I decide to just call it off. A big reason being our collective inability (obviously i'm gonna say it's mostly the others fault, from my perspective) to communicate. I've tried every possible tactic, always being honest and putting myself out there, trying to "lead by example" but gotten absolutely nothing in return as far as long term actions or any words at all really. Tried my hardest to end it on a nice note too but now suddenly people are starting to talk (while they couldn't for years) and it's not in a nice way. Pulling the plug absolutely felt like the right and only thing to do, but it sucks how it has to get infected when you put your all into it trying to make it work for so long and even end on good terms and it doesn't.

This sucks Panic, but if it's not fun, why do it? Feel like that's the primary rule of being in bands that aren't paying your bills.

[PanicProne]

Thanks guys. These replies have actually and still really are helping. Onwards!

[Kacey Y]

Laid to rest a band of mine which had been going on for over a decade a few months back. It's been absolutely heartbreaking. I've exhausted myself to make it work over the years to the point that it eventually became the absolute opposite of therapeutic, fun and inspiring. I extreemely seldom have trouble sleeping but have had because of the state of everything before I decide to just call it off. A big reason being our collective inability (obviously i'm gonna say it's mostly the others fault, from my perspective) to communicate. I've tried every possible tactic, always being honest and putting myself out there, trying to "lead by example" but gotten absolutely nothing in return as far as long term actions or any words at all really. Tried my hardest to end it on a nice note too but now suddenly people are starting to talk (while they couldn't for years) and it's not in a nice way. Pulling the plug absolutely felt like the right and only thing to do, but it sucks how it has to get infected when you put your all into it trying to make it work for so long and even end on good terms and it doesn't.

I've been in a similar situation before and it had a huge negative impact on my mental health, trying to make things work and jumping through hoops to keep everyone else happy and try to get them to communicate and contribute. Then tried to end things amicably and the other members decided it would be better to just blow things up if I wanted to leave, and also blew up the friendships and didn't talk to me for like a year (and though we repaired things eventually, I'm not friends with any of them NOW anyway for other reasons). I know how corrosive and emotionally draining that kind of situation is, so you made the right decision and you can't control how people react unfortunately. Hopefully things are getting better/easier and eventually there will be new experiences that are more positive and healthy.

[MrNovember]

I haven’t been posting much lately, but I need to rant about the joys of homeownership.

A couple weeks ago we noticed a puddle forming in our front yard, which was rather odd seeing as there was a couple feet of snow and the temperatures were below freezing. Been monitoring that situation for awhile and thankfully haven’t had any water leaking into the house or noticed any changes to our water bill or the water meter, but the puddle has increased into a swamp, so we had the city come look at it. Of course it’s a water line leak on our side of the boundary, which means they won’t fix it or cover it. So now we have hired a plumber who will hopefully be able to fix it next week after locates are done. Luckily it will be covered by our insurance, but it’s just a ton of work and hoops to jump through

We’ve also been doing renovations to the house. We have a couple major ones planned that are a bit stressful due to the expected cost involved, but the last thing we did was replace all our windows. This morning we woke up to extreme cold warning (approximately -30 deg C) and a crack from the top to the bottom of one of the brand new windows. So I’ve had the pleasure of trying to warranty that issue as well and it’s stressing me out that the leaking water line has potentially impacted the stability of the foundation or some shit.

Oh and the extreme cold also seems to have caused our car windshield to crack.

So yeah, good times all around

[Gone Fission]

That’s a lot of This Old Fucking House to happen all at once. The previous house we owned liked to stretch that shit out so there was always something. Always had a fear on the water line going bad, since that’s expensive and a pure pain in the ass.

[frodog]

The tales of dissolving bands and/or friendships here resonate with me in a big way. I now truly understand what's meant by 'irreconcilable artistic/personal differences', after hearing about it regarding the break-up of so many bands. Not that mine ever gigged or released anything, but it's clear now that it's never gonna happen unless I do it myself, alone. I don't know if it was the whole covid thing that broke so many people's brains, but I don't even recognize my friends anymore. Either they've gone full hyper-normal family mode or succumbed to nihilism, alcoholism and drug abuse. They don't even care about music anymore, my one friend even blatantly says so, they're just buying gear for no apparent reason other than self-indulgence. Not that I'm this pure, guitar-into-amp person, but at least I've always loved music and wanted to have gear in order to play with positive people and be somewhat productive. When those things go out the window and it's all just doomers fucking around, I can't in good conscience do it anymore. It feels gross and draining. So yeah, pivoting to a hikikomori existence where I just focus on what I want to do.

[Gone Fission]

I want to get a box of matzah and carve one into the profile of Jesus to post online with the caption “he is not risen.”

Missus Fission is vetoing to try to prevent me from starting a religious war.

[BitchPudding]

Mother in law is in the hospital, going on three weeks. Shes diabetic and unfortunately needed to lose a toe, and while she was there the doctors discovered she had suffered a mild heart attack at some point in the past few months and not noticed, so she'll need bypass surgery on Tuesday. Really scary for all of us, my wife especially, but were just fortunate she caught it now before it became a big issue.

I feel like kind of a bitch,pudding mostly I tend to hyper criticize myself when I get stressed and its been making me think im a bad parent, even tho other people say otherwise. I also am way the fuck overstimulated currently cause of all of this, so my ADHD having ass is struggling. Fortunately now, everyones asleep and I can toke up a little and relax. Grateful to my wife for being my support, hope im doing the same for her.

Life is a bastard, man.

[qersty]

i dropped my violin after having owned it a day. the resulting crack is a really expensive nasty one that makes unplayable

[Pepe]

Not good!

Not good, either:

That explains the high temperature, the coughing and the terrible headache throughout the last days. Three-and-a-half years I managed to stay away from this bloody virus.

[Chankgeez]

[imJonWain]

At least you're not pregnant?

[Pepe]

I'm pretty sure of that.