ilovefuzz.com

So after a year or so of varying degrees of frustration on both my part and my wife's regarding her reactions to some of the more sonically challenging aspects of my music, we've finally identified and are coming to understand the issue as not (just) one of aesthetics but rather hyperacusis. It took us awhile to get here because she's got pretty debilitating migraine issues as well as other chronic health stuff, so it's been tough to sort out what's what, how bad, etc. But it's pretty bad and we're both now feeling the necessity of facing up to our issues around it.

We're working out figuring out how to work around this - I'm committing to only playing through headphones when she's around (not ideal for a variety of reasons, but worth not driving her mad with pain), and she's going to talk to her doctor about treatment - but I wondered if any ILFers deal with hyperacusis, either in your own ears or those of people you share living space with, and if so, what helps, doesn't help, etc...

Thanks in advance!

Not hyperacusis, but I had an ex who hated almost any noise I made, from mouse clicks while she was watching TV, to once when I was up early watching TV virtually on silent while gently playing a Rickenbacker 330 unplugged and she complained it was keeping her awake, upstairs with two closed doors between us!

You both have my sympathy.

Paul_C wrote:Not hyperacusis, but I had an ex who hated almost any noise I made, from mouse clicks while she was watching TV, to once when I was up early watching TV virtually on silent while gently playing a Rickenbacker 330 unplugged and she complained it was keeping her awake, upstairs with two closed doors between us!

You both have my sympathy.

Thanks, man. Yeah it's not that bad, fortunately - it never happens when I play acoustic (except when playing through effects), so that's something - but there are a ton of environmental triggers, from the faucet running too high to the pellet stove blowing. I'm sure we'll figure something out but I do appreciate the sympathy!

Isn't it often frequency based? Maybe find which frequencies she reacts to the most and try to filter them out to the best of your ability? Headphones seems like a good idea too.

UglyCasanova wrote:Isn't it often frequency based? Maybe find which frequencies she reacts to the most and try to filter them out to the best of your ability? Headphones seems like a good idea too.

It is often more (or as much, anyway) a case of frequency than volume. Certain effects do it too - trem in particular, it seems, because apparently the brain interprets fluctuations in sound as physical movement, so something like motion sickness ensues. Fortunately I don't use a lot of trem but still, she's said that basically everything I do electrically is potentially triggering, and stuff like that just makes it more pressingly intolerable. So that's another complicating factor.

Errant Tiger wrote:

UglyCasanova wrote:Isn't it often frequency based? Maybe find which frequencies she reacts to the most and try to filter them out to the best of your ability? Headphones seems like a good idea too.

It is often more (or as much, anyway) a case of frequency than volume. Certain effects do it too - trem in particular, it seems, because apparently the brain interprets fluctuations in sound as physical movement, so something like motion sickness ensues. Fortunately I don't use a lot of trem but still, she's said that basically everything I do electrically is potentially triggering, and stuff like that just makes it more pressingly intolerable. So that's another complicating factor.

This sounds like something that my other half has also complained about. Basically most electronic noises that I make whether it's music from my room or my phone or anything seem to cause her a lot of pain and irritation. Even stuff like using my electric toothbrush she's mentioned feel painful to her.

How did you go about finding out more about hyperacusis?

Related, recently brought up by a coworker:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia

worra wrote:This sounds like something that my other half has also complained about. Basically most electronic noises that I make whether it's music from my room or my phone or anything seem to cause her a lot of pain and irritation. Even stuff like using my electric toothbrush she's mentioned feel painful to her.

How did you go about finding out more about hyperacusis?

My wife is no stranger to weird medical stuff - plus she used to work in healthcare - so she's an ace researcher. I'm pretty sure this was her starting point:

http://www.hyperacusis.net/

Sorry you're dealing with something similar! It's not easy for anyone involved.