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So life is weird and my wife and kid are moving 8 hours north of me to Wilmington, NC. After I get through the holiday season at work (and all those sweet-ass Xmas tips) I'm packing up and following them.

The first few months my wife and kid be living with my MIL so I can afford to take a couple risks, sleep on couches, and eat nothing but ramen.

I plan on finding a job before I move and then finding some short term housing until I get on my feet and can find a decent 2 bedroom.

So my question is this: For anyone who has ever done anything like this, do you have any advice? Is there anything you wish someone had told you or something you wish you had done? I basically have 2 months to get my shit together and go.

I've never done anything like this before and I'm pretty scared.

Finding a job before you move and nailing down short term housing is a good call, for sure. If you can snag a somewhat decent spot that's month-to-month you'll be in a good place to upgrade once you have your feet under you and your family situation sorted.

Agreed with DOS, but make sure the spot is actually decent. I went in to a rental room a little naively thinking everyone was chill and it turned into the worst living experience of my life. Not saying this is always the case, but think about some questions you can ask to determine if it will be terrible living there or not.

Glad you'll be able to be near everyone. That's a hard time. Sorry dude.

Yeah, I'm not TOO worried about finding a job. I can get hired as a waiter pretty much anywhere. I am worried about my shitty credit and no rental references, and finding a house that's safe enough for my wife and kid to eventually move back in while still maintaining a decent budget.

I'm also working on my resume if any of you are professional resume cookers.

What are you looking to do work-wise? Sticking with the waiter thing indefinitely (I have lots of friends who are pretty much pro waiters at this point and totally happy), or looking to eventually move on to something different?

Ideally I can take the skills ive learned in 15+ years of waiting tables/restaurant management and apply them to a field where I can work 9-5 and have weekends off.

But in the meantime, I'm charismatic enough and have little enough pride that i can wait tables for 5-6 more years without eating a bullet.

Yeah the schedule seems to be the biggest downside to service industry stuff. I'm sure if you're looking to move on to something more ideal, you'll have that figured out in less that 5-6 years.

Glad to hear things are moving in a new direction, man! Moving to a new town can be a really good recharge. Advice-wise I'm right there with DoS; it's good to nail down as much as you can before moving so that you can lower as much uncertainty/anxiety as possible and just focus on getting shit started on the new turf. Ideally it'll be enjoyable, not stressful.

Yeah I'm excited, even if I'm stressed about it. We also have govt benefits to transfer to NC because I'm a leech on the system. Food stamps and Medicaid. Insurance needs to get transferred. I really should have paid all my credit card debt years ago but I don't think it's gonna happen in 2 months.

All I know is there better be some people to play some goddamn music with up there.

Ziggys by the sea is out there. Pretty alright shows from time to time.

Yeah they got new ownership and half the shows are radio butt rock. But Deafheaven played there recently. I know how much you love them.

Dillinger too.

Last time we were there we just stumbled into a doom/stoner metal show at a bar called Satellite that was pretty rad. And there are secured practice spaces for rent downtown.

Pretty excited about all that. Already putting out Craigslist feelers in the musicians section.

You know t-rey is a Wilmington dude--might be worth it to send him a message about neighborhoods, the scene, etc. But if your MIL is already there...maybe you're already familiar??

I just know north of downtown is bad. The rest seems fairly nice. The MIL lives on a little island right outside town so she doesn't know much beyond that, and that shit is expensive.

I knew someone was in Wilmington but I couldn't remember who. I'll definitely hit him up, thanks!

aedes wrote:You know t-rey is a Wilmington dude--might be worth it to send him a message about neighborhoods, the scene, etc. But if your MIL is already there...maybe you're already familiar??

T-Rey has been quiet lately and usually seems to pop up in the DR exclusively but you could hit him up with a PM.

Shit, I'll play some doom. I love C standard. And baritone like whoa.