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I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 7:03 pm
by SPACERITUAL
So my friend got me a silicon valley shirt that says "Every day feels like I've died and gone to Hell". I wear it frequently. So I'm standing in line at costco with a 6lb bag of chocolate covered blueberries and a 40ct bulk pack of assorted gogurt, when out of nowhere this lady stomps up to me and sticks her finger in my chest and loudly tells me that the reason I feel that way is because I don't have jesus in my life and if Id get to a church maybe they could help me stop being such a total piece of shit.
So I replied with "I'm pretty sure insolent cunts like you are the reason I feel this way". Which caused her elderly decrepit ass husband to become irate with me and stand there with the rest of the line berating my friend and me for using that language towards A LADY and it wasn't really the most pleasant shopping experience but I'm really glad I got those chocolate covered blueberries they are delicious and if you guys see them at your local store you should pick them up.
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 7:05 pm
by Chankgeez
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 7:12 pm
by snipelfritz
The south.
At least you have nice friends who give you shirts.
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 7:41 pm
by JonnyAngle
You're on fire with starting treads recently!
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 7:58 pm
by Iommic Pope
I believe this grants you an automatic Australian citizenship.
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 8:11 pm
by ck3
Christ. How many notches are you from the buckle of the bible belt? Beware of snake handlers in your local Wal-Mart.
I recall freakish zealots preaching in the pit area of my undergrad alma mater in NC. They loved to thump bibles and antagonize social hippies. Hellllfiiiirrree!
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 8:58 pm
by SPACERITUAL
ck3 wrote:Christ. How many notches are you from the buckle of the bible belt? Beware of snake handlers in your local Wal-Mart.
I recall freakish zealots preaching in the pit area of my undergrad alma mater in NC. They loved to thump bibles and antagonize social hippies. Hellllfiiiirrree!
Im in south carolina. In the mountainous upstate area. Theres actually a snake handling church in my town and we used to have a "cowboy church" where people actually sat around on horses in a barn listening to some guy dressed like Conway Twitty. It was actually kind of tight now that i think about it.
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 9:42 pm
by ck3
L+O+L. Aside from random billboards, CT is relatively secular. That cowboy church takes the proverbial JC cake. I picture them all dressed like cowboy Curtis and spazzing out every time someone says the secret word. I never realized how Conway Twitty inspired generations of televangelist fashion. This has been an enlightening experience.
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:07 pm
by aedes
You sir are a hero. Thank you.
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:10 pm
by Invisible Man
Congrats on your victory I think.
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:10 pm
by D.o.S.
SPACERITUAL wrote:and a 40ct bulk pack of assorted gogurt,
casually trying to make gogurt a thing. I'm onto you.
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:42 pm
by MrNovember
You sir are a true inspiration
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:51 pm
by Joe Gress
SPACERITUAL wrote:chocolate covered blueberries they are delicious .
FUCK YES
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:57 pm
by morange
Nice job. I only regret times I've been polite to cunts only because of how old they are, and my only solace is to live vicariously through heros like you.
Re: I called an old lady a cunt at Costco today.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:59 pm
by snipelfritz
D.o.S. wrote:SPACERITUAL wrote:and a 40ct bulk pack of assorted gogurt,
casually trying to make gogurt a thing. I'm onto you.
Sometimes a handsome man has to gurt on the go.
