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So how many of ya are married?
My wedding is next Saturday in upstate NY and I feel the anxiety setting in a little bit.
I think it's also the idea that we've spent all this money for one day when in reality that could go towards a car
Or like, 50 pedals or an amp... Ya know what I mean.
I just want it to all go smoothly and I'm sure that's slightly unrealistic in some aspect

Got hitched almost 3 years ago now. Been with the lady for almost 10. You'll be fine dude. It's something you will remember forever. I didn't see the point in the invested money until it was happening. It's the happiest day of your life. Congrats to you buddy

I'm dating my Computer.

Married for 8 years now. Our wedding was awesome and it was totally worth the money in retrospect. I was sweating bullets that whole day, but everything went perfectly.

Our two year anniversary will be in August. It was an awesome day. I thought I was fine, and then it happened, and she walked in...oof. Perfect. I held it together until after the ceremony, and my dad hugged me, and I lost it, which surprised me. But man, best decision I ever made.

Good luck! I hope everything goes smoothly. Rest up ahead of time.
Don't think about the money. Think about how much you love your friends and family and how you're giving them a cool experience.

You will cry. It will happen. I didn't think it would and then I lost it and was hysterical

I actually got married here in Japan (my wife is Japanese) and all you have to do is go to the main administration building where you live and fill a form. You do have to get two other people to sign it first, but that's it. That's the official marriage in Japan. In France it has to be done in front of the mayor of the city (or someone else a bit further down the hierarchy for a big city) so it was a bit of a surprise for me. So yeah, the actual marriage event was as uneventful as possible .

We then did a ceremony in a shrine, rented some wedding-only kimonos (seriously awesome-looking hand-made stuff) to do some great photos with a photograph in Kyoto under cherry blossoms and in an insanely good-looking shrine/temple and rented a small castle in France to do a wedding party with friends and family though, but this was almost one year later. And all of this cost a ton of money, but as everyone said it's really good memories and it's not just for you but for everybody else too, in a way.

Anyway, for me the key moment was when I asked my (now) wife to marry me. That was the point that I knew made a difference, but it was just us under the cherry blossoms with wild deers around . Everything else just flowed after that.

And congratulations, of course .

I personally don't see the appeal, but I think it might be somewhat based on my geographical location. Marriage seemed to die out with my parents' generation. My friends who have been in long relationships and even have kids, they honestly don't think about marriage. My thesis is that it's based on religion, or rather non-religion, as our demographic consists of +70% non-believers. Marriage is traditionally thought of as a Christian value here, a pact with God. Something most people might shy away from. And I would definitely rather spend the money on pedals

We do have something similar to marriage here, but I don't know the word for it. It just gives you the economical privileges that come from a marriage, but it has nothing to do with the church. It's state business. Socialism, amirite?

Edit: just what oscillateur said about Japan!

But ultimately, it's each to their own. If you think it might end up being the best day of your life, you can't put a price tag on that!

Yeah, my wife and I went down to the courthouse and got married. Our two best friends were there as witnesses and we went and had drinks and dinner afterwards.

Total cost of day: $100.

We do sometimes wish we had more of a celebration but neither of us have a ton of family and our friends are all hard to schedule so it worked out pretty well.

Been married going on nine years now, I don't recall what financial impact the ceremony had ~ best to let that sort of stuff just roll, gotta support the party now and then, even if the memory looks "lossy" when compared to hardware on paper - it's not. Probably the most important take away I have on the subject, you gotta roll with stuff - but that does not mean you have to let shit go.

UglyCasanova wrote:I personally don't see the appeal, but I think it might be somewhat based on my geographical location. Marriage seemed to die out with my parents' generation. My friends who have been in long relationships and even have kids, they honestly don't think about marriage. My thesis is that it's based on religion, or rather non-religion, as our demographic consists of +70% non-believers. Marriage is traditionally thought of as a Christian value here, a pact with God. Something most people might shy away from.

This makes sense, in a way I think my secular outlook has cast my living situation into an easy going simple existence (helps that my partner agrees on this front), I was originally aiming to go full bastard on it but stateside we are rewarded in a sense, economically, for following the mold, so be it.

Regardless, it was a most excellent party and I'm still glad it happened. Congrats!

UglyCasanova wrote:I personally don't see the appeal, but I think it might be somewhat based on my geographical location. Marriage seemed to die out with my parents' generation. My friends who have been in long relationships and even have kids, they honestly don't think about marriage. My thesis is that it's based on religion, or rather non-religion, as our demographic consists of +70% non-believers. Marriage is traditionally thought of as a Christian value here, a pact with God. Something most people might shy away from. And I would definitely rather spend the money on pedals

We do have something similar to marriage here, but I don't know the word for it. It just gives you the economical privileges that come from a marriage, but it has nothing to do with the church. It's state business. Socialism, amirite?

Edit: just what oscillateur said about Japan!

But ultimately, it's each to their own. If you think it might end up being the best day of your life, you can't put a price tag on that!

Yeah, I was in the same boat, I didn't plan to get married at all before. But society is a bit different in Japan and it was more important for my wife so I went along to make her happy, basically. And I don't regret it one bit. But if we had met in France instead of Japan things might have been different in that regard. Still, the point for me is that getting married should not change your everyday relationship at all, in my opinion. I got a nice ring and I use different words to talk about her when she's not there, but that's it.

Btw, weddings in Japan are usually boring as fuck. People rent a flashy place somewhere in a nice part of the city (in big fancy hotels, etc.), there's a fancy lunch during which some people make speeches (usually the ones getting married, and for each of them one friend, family member and often their boss), the whole thing lasts for about 2-3 hours and then it's done, There's typically a small ceremony before with just a few people, and there can be a sort of party later but for the most part it's that. Boring. As. Fuck. And you don't bring gifts but pay usually about 20-30k yens ($200-300) and get a small bag with some gifts in it (the same for everyone). Ugh. At least we avoided that.

Tried it. Didn't work. I'll probably try again, though.

Being married is really awesome. Last little couple days before the ceremony I was freaking out, but then you're married and it's over. Congratulations dude!

vidret wrote:oh and also love is gay and lame etc

Yeah this. I'm not even interested in having a girlfriend, much less a wife.

But I'm a dork(5ever alone), so congratulations!