ilovefuzz.com

I gave up drugs and drinking and it has been a solid year since. I had to cut off all my friends because they would call be all hours to go party. Thing is I still miss my best bud and want to hang, but I know it will devolve into a drug fueled orgy. But if not for him I have no friends left. I don't know what to do. BTW he does heroin and crack, and anything. Stuff I never want to see again.

Stay away. Nice work so far. Good luck- I made a similar choice and went through those lonely times- has turned out better than I ever could have imagined.

Congratulations on white knuckling it for one year.
I have almost 4 years clean. In my experience finding a support network really helped (NA or AA). Life is way better with personal relationships with other positive people who are on the same path. There are very few "friends" that I miss from when I used because when I stopped, the foundation of our friendship was gone.
I have actually been in bands where every member was in recovery from addiction and it was awesome. A lot more got done at practice.

Nice! I wanted to be a drama queen cuz there are 3334 topics now instead of 3333, but you posted the topic at a synchronous time, and it's a cool story so I approve ^^

awesome music time!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCZ4RPpsdlY[/youtube]

About to be the bitch that posts the "way easier said than done" shit. But you gotta get out, man. You need to get new friends around you. So many things that we get hooked on fall into the addiction model (relationships, food, PEDAL WHORING!!!!!) and they pretty much all have the same pitfall, that you were doing it to fill a need. And you HAVE to fill that need with something else or you will go back to the old habit to do it. No one has the ultimate will power. Every one of us would crack under consistent pressure, eventually. It's kinda like how you can't really get over someone until you've found a new person.

Again, all shit I know you've heard before and stuff that, if it were easy to do, would already be done. Maybe take what Deltz said and run with it. Music. See if you can start jamming with clean people. Maybe even people who are new clean like you. Start a recovery group with music as the center.

But big congrats on the year. That's nothing trivial. That's huge.

^yeah. just decide who you want to be. that's about all there is to it.

alexa. wrote:^yeah. just decide who you want to be. that's about all there is to it.

I wish it was that easy!!

But there is one tool that I use kind of based on this, Act As If.
Change becomes habit through repetitive action. So, if I am trying to change, I act as if am a person who already does whatever it is that I am trying to change. Eventually it becomes a new habit and I become the change that I envisioned. Takes awhile though before it isn't a conscience effort.

this is my life as well dev
ive kinda isolated myself
for the last couple years
even without outside influence
i stayed strung out for a while
i got a friend
more like a brother
i grew up with
and i dont know how much longer
hes gonna be around
hes a homeless train hoppin junkie
thkng is the last few times he came to see me
and we got high
he kinda knew if i went backwards
id lose everthing and go down again
i havent heard from him in a year now
on one hand i know he wants my comeradery
on the other he actually gives a fuck
and sees i found a way out
they will understand
im not in the school of the "drinking buddy"bs
these are the peeps that were there
when your family wasnt
its fuckin so hard to let go
but the real friends in the sea of zombies
will be proud of you
and have no problem lettin you heal
it is a lonely road
but you need it dude
h will always be there
whenever you wanna go back
but stay here with me for a bit
im at a year too
i take suboxone
but someday thats gonna be gone
and the life that ive created while on it
has no room for late night runs
and two hour nods
i shot coke a year ago
thinking i can still"party"
have a good time
well party was over when i was 15
and its never comin back
i will die on a dirty toilet somewhere
if i decide to go back
and the way you talk
im sure youd be in the next stall
killing yourself as well
i justify buying a new pedal spontaneously
because they cost about the same as 2 bundles
thing is
i(we) cant have both
and remember right now you have a choice
on the other side(especially crack)
you have no choice
and no life exept that
until you fall hard and wake up
and want to live again
this is a 25 yr struggle for me now
and it never stops bein a struggle
they understand
in fact they wish they were with you
and hopefully some of them will make it out too
holy pontification
take care of yourself dev
thats A numero uno
the world needs dudes like you around
and that goes for all of you fuckers
it still sucks out there
and it wants to eat your soul

Deltaphoenix wrote:

alexa. wrote:^yeah. just decide who you want to be. that's about all there is to it.

I wish it was that easy!!

But there is one tool that I use kind of based on this, Act As If.
Change becomes habit through repetitive action. So, if I am trying to change, I act as if am a person who already does whatever it is that I am trying to change. Eventually it becomes a new habit and I become the change that I envisioned. Takes awhile though before it isn't a conscience effort.

That's what I said actually
I review my actions and if an action is not in accord with the person I want to be, I don't do it. (or I do it and prove that I don't wanna do that anymore ) Basically the same thing. Your approach seems more streamlined tho. But I guess you could approach it in a number of ways, depending on your preferences.

ryan summit wrote:you have no choice
and no life exept that
until you fall hard and wake up
and want to live again
this is a 25 yr struggle for me now
and it never stops bein a struggle

Have you heard about Ayahuasca treatments?
Aaaaand <3

I LOVE YOU ALL FOR BEING AWESOME, SO CHEER UP! (or I'm gonna go all hippie love on ya )

For me, working the 12 steps with a sponsor has helped me work on me. Through taking an honest look at myself and my actions, finding faith in something greater than myself (doesn't have to be a god(s) either but Odin is awesome), and being of service to others.
I have lost the obsession to use, my life isn't run by fear that I'll slip up and use. As long as I do what I need to do, I will be fine. I was a BAD junkie. I have woken up on bathroom floors covered in some sort of foam (seizure?) with blood dried on my arm and a needle with blood pulled back and dope in it still next to me. I wiped the needle of on my jeans and then stuck myself again. It was then that I realized I had to make changes but I couldn't do it on my own. I could never stop on my own.
Now I am engaged to the best woman I could ever have in my life, we own a house together. I graduated from a community college with an A.A. and now am at the University of Florida getting my Bachelor's. I found out that I had a kid after I got clean and I have a relationship with her. My family actually wants me around.
My life is full and I am happy for real for the first time ever.
So there is a way beyond just staying dry and staying miserable.

D.o.S. wrote:

alexa. wrote:Have you heard about Ayahuasca treatments?

http://i1218.photobucket.com/albums/dd4 ... erious.gif

Addicts who used Aya went clean. There is no official record I know of, just a lot of people sharing their experiences. There is an African herbal mix similar to Aya (forgot the name), and they are using it in Africa to heal heroin addicts (the ones that look for help that is). Drinking Aya in the jungle is a better step to take then to be in a bad depression about your life the whole time. The amount of positive, life-changing experiences is not 'just something'. It's a significant number that has skyrocketed in the last few years.

And the Heroine clinics in Canada are a step in the right direction too if you ask me. I heard about it a few years ago, but didn't hear anything new about it in a while.

Drinking a potent psychoactive seems like an unnecessary gamble to me, especially when it doesn't have any kind of clinical backing.

Remember, Tim Leary and Ram Das were psychologists before they were psychonauts.

There is a lot of True Life in this here thread, and it's all us old guys... I struggled all year to completely stop drinkin and just keep falling into habits... Sometimes I'd go into the corner store and be back at home icing down a 6 pack and not even realize I'd bought it... I think it helps to have people around that are into other things so you can just get on with it but even that's not always good cause I usually never drank with them anyway... Ryan's got it right that Partying stopped in the teenage years and now it's just a problem... 20 years of habits are hard to break... for everyone...

D.o.S. wrote:Drinking a potent psychoactive seems like an unnecessary gamble to me, especially when it doesn't have any kind of clinical backing.

Remember, Tim Leary and Ram Das were psychologists before they were psychonauts.

Well, 2000+ years of constant use in middle and south America are kind of a good pointer for it being O.K. when used as it should be used (set and setting/sitter/etc). Feels like taking anti-depressants is more of a gamble than Aya if you ask me. I don't know ONE person who became 'healed' from using a-d, but I know A LOT of people who changed their lives for the better after eating a few shrooms or blotters.



And I didn't say that it heals everyone of addictions (then again, what does heal everyone?) but there are a lot of stories of people who changed their lives from being addicts to doing a DeltaPhoenix