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Mine:

Man is born to live and not prepared to live.

Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.


that might be Confucious says

"Help! I'm trapped in a Chinese bakery."

I actually enjoy the cookie more than the fortune.

I got this on a few weeks ago and it made me LOL....

i have this one taped to the top of my monitor at work. no idea what direction i'm going though.

Take any fortune cookie and add "in bed" to the end of it.


"When the lights go down tonight, all your dreams will come true"
"The longer your happiness lasts, the happier everyone will be around you"
"Try new things today, your loved ones will enjoy it immensely"

...in bed

I got this fortune a couple weeks ago. I laughed out loud at the spelling error in "pears".

Maybe it wasn't a mistake. Have you run into any particularly amorous fruits lately? And I'm not talking about the kind who hang out at certain kinds of bars.

One time at school I got one that said "buy more fortune cookies." I hate the taste though.

I had one that said "You will receive a small fortune." oblivious to it's irony.

i definitely wish i was heading the right direction... in bed. wait...

I got one from a Thai restaurant three weeks ago that said:

"eat your fruits and vegetable to be healthy and strong."

Not really a fortune at all, more like instructions, and I was already eating out with my mom I didn't need to hear it twice,