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IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 12:54 pm
by IEatCats
In celebration of the 2012 US Presidential Election, I've decided to throw my hat into the race for ILF President 2012.

While I am still looking for a runningmate, I feel that I should make my stances and policies clear.

First, I'd like to bring our board out of the porn recession. My stimulus package calls for a whopping 20% increase in porn posted to general, with a nearly 10% increase in fine asses alone. The other ten percent will be divided evenly among bringing out boobies, lingerie, tentacle, and misc weird shit up to an acceptable level.

I also plan on focusing my efforts into making a bit more noise. As you all know, SpaceRitual has left the board, and TroySanders has been exiled. In their place, I feel that we need a real push in causing lighthearted trouble on this board. My predecessors have set the groundwork in place, but I feel that we can expand upon their positions. I plan to not be a huge asshole, while still derailing conversations with things that make you laugh or pause and think about what you're looking at.

Should you choose me as Board President, I will also be focusing my efforts on building up a stronger foundation of conversation. Recent trends have shown that General has dropped in new threads at an alarming rate, and often, the threads that stay on the frontpage have several dozen pages, all more or less saying the same few things. I'd like to diversify our board portfolio by bringing in new conversations, and new people. I feel that with the right man in charge, we can do just that, together.

I also plan to start my "Taco Tuesdays" program, which the community has asked for for quite some time.

So, while I currently run unopposed and unaccompanied, I hope that this November I can count on your vote.
And remember, a vote for me, is a vote for fun.

:ilf:
IEatCats
Presidential Candidate 2012

Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 12:54 pm
by IEatCats
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Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 12:58 pm
by snipelfritz
lol, "stimulus package"

But I think we forgot that ILF is a dicktatorship, teeheehee.

Live by the Dalton, die by the Dalton...

Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 1:01 pm
by wsas3
Thom rules all

Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 1:09 pm
by IEatCats
As president, I plan to change all that.

Or let my position degrade to entirely a social status, placing me above all of what my future opponents would call, "the plebians".

Now, what can I do to get your vote, young citizens?

Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 1:44 pm
by alexa.
IEatCats wrote:Now, what can I do to get your vote, young citizens?


Make an election video with your speech and get it on BLR Soundbite.



..but you can't win against the Dalton. <3

Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 2:30 pm
by excane
snipelfritz wrote: ILF is a dicktatorship, teeheehee.


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Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 3:55 pm
by Dr. Sherman Sticks M.D.
dick tater is going to be my new go-to phrase for sure

Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 4:17 pm
by ZiltoidTheOmniscient
I feel an... alliance would be in the best interests of both of us.

Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 4:53 pm
by IEatCats
ZiltoidTheOmniscient wrote:I feel an... alliance would be in the best interests of both of us.

A RUNNING MATE HAS STEPPED FORWARD.

WHO WILL DARE CHALLENGE THE IEatCats-ZiltoidTheOmniscient ILF 2012 PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN?

Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 4:55 pm
by Chankgeez
POTILF?

President?

We don't need no stinkin' President.

Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 4:57 pm
by IEatCats
Too late! I started the campaign. Unless I see some opposition in the form of a competitor, I'm going to take it as an uncontested victory for the Cats-Ziltoid Presidential Campaign.

Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 4:59 pm
by Deltaphoenix
What are the Cabinet positions?

Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 5:11 pm
by Chankgeez
IEatCats wrote:Too late! I started the campaign. Unless I see some opposition in the form of a competitor, I'm going to take it as an uncontested victory for the Cats-Ziltoid Presidential Campaign.


Bloodless coup, baby, bloodless coup.

Re: IEatCats for ILF President 2012

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 5:38 pm
by IEatCats
Deltaphoenix wrote:What are the Cabinet positions?

Well, I wasn't thinking I'd worry much about that until after the race, but I suppose we will be looking for the following:
Secretary of Defense
-Primarily deals with defense against other boards, terrorist factions, and protection from unlicensed aliens.
Secretary of Interior
-Job duties focus around keeping the peace on the board.
Secretary of Education
-Will handle general gear education.