ilovefuzz.com

well, the clock on the right-hand side of the page says i've put up 5000 of these things. in a way, that's a totally arbitrary data point that doesn't mean anything; on the other hand, it's an awful lot of time and space to have taken up, so i feel like i ought to say something.

when i got here, i was fresh from getting sacked from a job i'd had for ten years, and things were falling apart. i was really emotionally fucked up, and as a result i introduced myself with the charm of a Panzer regiment and spent at least a year alienating people i liked because couldn't/didn't know how to shut up. my life was full of war, and i carried it with me everywhere until my partner left me and the war became a bloody, bitter retreat from Moscow.

somehow you folks put up with me through all of this, despite my early penchant for snotty invective and pages of "gotcha" argumentation (though you've gotta admit the Cort guy deserved some of it ), my tendency to personalize stuff that's neutral, and the fact that i'm old enough to be 90% of y'all's uncle.

and beyond putting up with me, folks have been incredibly kind and supportive. the ILF community literally helped keep me alive this last year when i was ready to give up. i hope you don't think me dopey for feeling that i've got friends in other parts of the country/world from posting here, and i hope folks know that when i have a stable life again they have a friend here too.

i've tried to help out, and to contribute what i can. i've spent a lifetime amassing guitar-related information, and the best thing i can possibly do with it is to pass it on. and sometimes i've been down dark roads some of y'all are stuck in, and can tell you there's something else there. hopefully over time the contributions counterbalance the bullshit.

things are still hard, and i don't know when they're going to get better. but i know that things are a whole lot better because of you. i've got a board full of great noises i bought from you, you recommended me, or i heard about because you mentioned it or linked a demo. you make me smile and laugh every day. and you're company when i'm all alone.

so thanks for letting me be part of all this. when you've spent much of your life alone, it means a lot to belong. so thanks for letting me stand by the fire and get warm with you.

all i can say, man there's nothing i could say without sounding cheesy

there was something i said a couple of times recently i want to riff on...every so often folks talk about how ILF has changed and things aren't as much fun as they used to be, and given the tendency to personalize stuff i mentioned above i feel like i'm responsible for some of that. it wasn't intentional, but it kind of goes along with generating this amount of text and message, i guess. the thing is, you guys (and girls) changed me, too. i'm not as much of a dickhead as i used to be. i listen better. i'm less argumentative. and that's true in my offline life as well. i learn stuff from being here.

but i'm not saying this stuff so people will put up posts about how groovy i am...i just want y'all to know how much this has mattered to me, and continues to matter to me. how much YOU matter to me. the fact that Tom puts up with us is a miracle. really, i'm not worthy. but it's sweet as hell. long live the SS ILF and all who sail in her

dubkitty wrote:there was something i said a couple of times recently i want to riff on...every so often folks talk about how ILF has changed and things aren't as much fun as they used to be, and given the tendency to personalize stuff i mentioned above i feel like i'm responsible for some of that. it wasn't intentional, but it kind of goes along with generating this amount of text and message, i guess. the thing is, you guys (and girls) changed me, too. i'm not as much of a dickhead as i used to be. i listen better. i'm less argumentative. and that's true in my offline life as well. i learn stuff from being here.

but i'm not saying this stuff so people will put up posts about how groovy i am...i just want y'all to know how much this has mattered to me, and continues to matter to me. how much YOU matter to me. the fact that Tom puts up with us is a miracle. really, i'm not worthy. but it's sweet as hell. long live the SS ILF and all who sail in her

I think part of it's just a matter of settling the west.

But to your op post,

Well I am only relatively new to the forums; but dubkitty, judging from your awesome post in the "influential electric guitarist" thread, I hope you're around for another 5000.

DUB 4 LIFE.

I'm gonna get that tattooed on my ass.

That kitty's a replicant.

Good Job Unc

HUGS. 5000 of them.

Yeah, we're pretty awesome.

i like that old stinky.

Having come to a crossroads in my life (I've been very hush but through PM's the people I'm closest to here are aware of some of the pain I'm going through; I regret leaving behndy out of it,...but even he knows that something is amiss via the Facebooks). A lot of what you are saying DK holds a lot of resonance and power for me. This place is a sounding board and I feel like that there are an awful lot of lonely people out in the world that could benefit from being a part of a community like this.

I know that we have gotten into it a few times. Call it a clash of ego or a clash of brilliance,...but that is all water under the bridge and I plan on being nothing but warm to DK and everyone else on here for the rest of my tenure on these boards.

For me personally,...I've been cold for a very long time and you guys have probably been the only recipient of my warmth. I've been ignoring personal relationships as a result of living in the dark. I had something so destructive occur to me as was a result of the neglect that it has jolted me back into the light. My good friends here at ILF have really been supportive and have helped me to learn to live with my fears and not allow them to lead me down the wrong path.

I'm still a Padawan but I feel like I've gained a great deal of wisdom just by having people here for me.

ILF fo lyfe.