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bigchiefbc wrote:

hbombgraphics wrote:think of work in the "no diggity" sense of the word

It is impossible for me to think of "work" in anything but an extremely negative sense. A result of working at jobs that I fucking loathe for my entire adulthood.

sorry boss, I know the word can have negative connotations, maybe effort is a good substitute.

Good thread!

Me, I'll've been married 8 years on July 19th. We've been together over 10 years. My son turned 2 today, actually! Still very happily married. Agree with aens_wife that it can be a lot of work to make a relationship work.

jwar wrote:I guess I can see what Louise is saying. Take me for instance. I'm sure it causes my wife a certain level of anxiety that I've changed jobs more times than you can count. I'm fucking bipolar!!! What do you want from me!!! No but seriously it sucks. We've had other things happen (my fault usually) that have made things almost break apart. That's part of the journey. Pulling through thick and thin together and coming out on top. It makes you feel amazing. I love my wife more than I did the day I met her and that's saying a lot. I told her I loved her on our second date. I shit you not. I had only known her a week.

Also...what's up guys? You having more sex than me??? Why didn't anyone agree!!! LOL

I have depression anxiety and am in the biggest rut in the existence of mankind.
You and I are different kinds of hard work. Believe me.
I gotta hand it to my wife, I don't know how or why she's put up with me but she gets me through.
Having said that, I've worked hard on myself as part of that bargain as well as the relationship, as I know you have.
It's all part of the deal.
Totally with you on the love increasing over time thing.

As for sex:

hbombgraphics wrote:

jwar wrote:I guess I can see what Louise is saying. Take me for instance. I'm sure it causes my wife a certain level of anxiety that I've changed jobs more times than you can count. I'm fucking bipolar!!! What do you want from me!!! No but seriously it sucks. We've had other things happen (my fault usually) that have made things almost break apart. That's part of the journey. Pulling through thick and thin together and coming out on top. It makes you feel amazing. I love my wife more than I did the day I met her and that's saying a lot. I told her I loved her on our second date. I shit you not. I had only known her a week.

Also...what's up guys? You having more sex than me??? Why didn't anyone agree!!! LOL

I just got back from a trip so I am still rolling on coming back from a business trip sex,

not sure how much everyone else is doing intercourse, but all my kids sleep all night now so that's cool.........

Kids sleeping through is the fucking best.

bigchiefbc wrote:I get what you guys are saying. I guess I ascribe negative connotations to the word "work". Work is what you HAVE to do, not what you want to do. I'd agree that sometimes marriage takes effort, but it feels wrong to call it work.

I ascribe the term "job" what you've described.
Work to me is the thing that you feel compelled to do and while it seems exhaustive you do it because it matters to you and the reward goes far beyond the material.

snipelfritz wrote:

vidret wrote:oh and also love is gay and lame etc

Yeah this. I'm not even interested in having a girlfriend, much less a wife.

But I'm a dork(5ever alone), so congratulations!

Dude
Think you're 5ever alone? I'm an only child/only grandchild who is technically a millennial with boomer parents.

They divorced after I turned 9...yet since then haven't lived farther than a half mile apart...a 10 minute walk from one to another.
As a result I grew up with 2 functional, involved households with true joint custody, MTW w/mom TH+F w/dad & alternate weekends.
The folks had different ideas how to raise me, which is something that hadn't come up in the 7 previous years of marriage prior to my birth.
Their relationship had deteriorated to the point they became unable to get along & ever since, have considered each other persona non grata.
But I was fortunate to have older, mature parents who were able to cooperate when absolutely necessary to put my needs first. While it most definitely turned my world upside-down, I don't recall it ever feeling like a broken home. Either one.

FF to adulthood & I've spent the last decade avoiding romantic relationships, which started as me working on myself to overcome some real challenges and grow. This developed into trying to protect those who I care about or would care about, because I can not currently dedicate the necessary time and attention to nurture something meaningful when already burning the candle at both ends in caring for 2 parents each struggling with their own mortality. I don't want to burden anyone with the heartache I deal with on a regular basis in watching loved ones suffer and being powerless to do anything about it except try to make them a little more comfortable.

My bad...about being a buzzkill ┐(‘～`；)┌
I know marriage can work. Both sets of my grandparents were married 60+ years.
But the prevailing attitudes of western-raised people have eroded the institution.
There just isn't much value placed on family/loyalty anymore, like in other parts of the world, where too many people now think "I deserve better" instead of "they deserve better" when things don't go as planned.

Even though I don't really want children (family medical reasons is all I need to say I guess), I'd like to get married one day

ideally a small wedding. Like super small in an awesome place... like a fucking cliff in Scotland. And then a party with some people back home but... I'm not a believing man, so marriage to me is a promise between the two people. it's an unnecessary gesture for sure, but... I'd still like to give the promise one day.

difficult to think about when I'm alone yet again

Recently got engaged. Im mostly just nervious about the ceremony going well.

Im just glad she said yes in the end. She completes me in every way. I would be lost without her. So this feels like the next logical step.

BitchPudding wrote:Recently got engaged. Im mostly just nervious about the ceremony going well.

Im just glad she said yes in the end. She completes me in every way. I would be lost without her. So this feels like the next logical step.

Congratulations!!!!!

Ceremony is pretty straight forward if you get someone that knows what they are doing.

Thank you! Thats comforting tho. Sometimes my family can get sorta not-good crazy. So idk, miiiiiiight have to not invite people. But whatever, we'll see.

Also holy shit hbomb, your avatar made me think there was more that creamer in my coffee this morning. Nice.

Thanks Mr. Excane hooked me up with a dope gif a while back


And invite whoever you want, don't feel pressured.

Last wedding I did there were only about 15 guests but it was exactly what the couple wanted and it was perfect for them

Ok we made it five pages so it's time

D.o.S. wrote:Ok we made it five pages so it's time

aww yeah


Did Cass actually tell us where this whole thing is happening yet?

I think he's afraid we will crash it hard

rustywire wrote:

snipelfritz wrote:

vidret wrote:oh and also love is gay and lame etc

Yeah this. I'm not even interested in having a girlfriend, much less a wife.

But I'm a dork(5ever alone), so congratulations!

Dude

Oh I'm fine. I love my alone time and I hve friends to hang out with when I feel like it.

I'm not in any hurry to fall in love. One day my prince will coooooome.

hbombgraphics wrote:

D.o.S. wrote:Ok we made it five pages so it's time

aww yeah


Did Cass actually tell us where this whole thing is happening yet?

I think he's afraid we will crash it hard

Haha it was at arrow park lodge in Monroe NY. Was a small wedding and it was fucking awesome. I was pretty anxious about the whole day but everything came together, everyone had a good time and now we're just sad that it's over with.

Casavettes wrote: Haha it was at arrow park lodge in Monroe NY. Was a small wedding and it was fucking awesome. I was pretty anxious about the whole day but everything came together, everyone had a good time and now we're just sad that it's over with.

Congrats on getting through the big day! Seems a little rude that the locational details didn't surface until after

Congrats buddy!