nshuman's entire post is at bottom of page 1 of this thread.
nshuman wrote: . . . .
That's what happened guy, the slow absolute mental breakdown of a man precipitated by men in their 40s, 50s, and 60s acting like little brats. My biggest disappointment in all of this? The fact that Ed fixated on Mosfed and somehow made him the incarnation of his own mental demons and his conflict with his once friend Nukes. I understand that it comes from an ugly insane irrational place and might be beyond Ed's control. But, one day, after he gets the help and medication he needs, I hope he'll publicly acknowledge that it was very wrong to do that.
I also hope that Nukes and the FBK crew one day realizes the part they played in basically destroying the little sanity that an unstable man had left.
I have shared most of this privately with a lot of folks. Honestly, a lot of this is not news to a lot of people, but I feel like it might as well be out there. Sorry for the long drawn out post, but somebody had to put it out there I think.
Yes, it's "that crazy alien"'.
You summed it up pretty good. It was a combination of things, many of which aren't in your post.
1. I had dropped about 80 lbs. in the 4 months leading up to this "event".
2. About 85 days prior to me shutting it down, a well-intention-ed endocrinologist had put me on thyroid medication for a 90 day trial, thinking my levels were low.
3. I had started burning massive amounts of weed. I'd estimate I vapped an ounce a week of White Widow and Black Domina, along with liberal doses of BHO every week for 3-5 weeks leading up to the main event. At the hospital* they told me I had the highest level of THC they had every pulled on a guy who wasn't dead. . . .
* I actually HAD my wife take me to the hospital as I thought my bad head was "thyroid storm". . . I did a 5150 stay - but it was 7 days.
So, did some meds for a few months, my doctor tells me he thinks it was an isolated event, brought on by the 3 things I listed above. Especially #3
Current status: No meds for last 12 months. No weed since the event. Gainfully employed as a paralegal again for last 12 months - I could do this job in my sleep, did it for 12 years before.
* I was 56 when this went down, had never had anything like this happen before.
** I liked the Breeders - damn shame i hadn't started the site with THEM, they actually seemed to understand a decent free lunch and how not to screw up a sunny day. But my original group had some great guys (and one gal
)too.
*** Glad I had the sanity to apologize to Determann(TB owner). I might not like everything about his site but it's got a lot of good in it too.
**** You guys went surprising easy on me in this thread. Really sorry about the whole thing. Obviously I had poured my soul into it, so seeing thing go south just sent me over the edge.
I thought after 20 months it would be good for me to make some kind of public statement somewhere. I'll not come back here and fight old fights from a time when I was dazed and confused - THAT would be crazy.
I appreciate the administrators granting my account.
Great forum.
Edios
- crap, I thought that was an alien emoji.