greigoroth wrote:Is it post work yet?
Ok, so this is not going to be some epic story, but I got drunk enough to explain it properly.
I met this girl at the end of last semester, we sort of got set up together, I had zero expectation and expected it to be the shittiest "blind date ever" but it wasn't. She was gorgeous, absolutely fucking gorgeous. The first date went so amazingly well that we hung out every night afterwards, in a frantic panic due to the semester ending in 2 weeks. We got pretty close, fast, not in a physical way, we were never physical, but in an extreme, mind blowing emotional way. The worst way. We eventually held hands the 2 nights before the semester ended, and it was the sort of hand holding that makes you feel closer to someone than just about any other physical act could do.
Anyways we decided we wanted to get through the summer together (her living in North Richland Hills, and me staying in Little Rock) Things we great, I was the happiest I think I may have ever been, atleast in the past 3 years which have been shit. She went on and on about how bad she wanted me to come to the Dallas area to visit her and meet her family. She talked about her family a lot, especially one of her brothers whom she considered her best friend.
SO I work out the details and get my 2 friends to come along in order to be able to afford a week abroad. (however I end up paying for the hotel and gas expense on my own
) We end up staying in Denton because of the cheaper rates haha. We spend an amazing week together, and everything was just perfect. By now I'm honestly convinced this girl is the one, I mean there was nothing that made me think otherwise, she was just what I wanted.
However, the subsequent weeks she starts distancing herself. It's sort of weird. We worked out a time that she could come to Michigan to visit my family which was for my sisters wedding, she was super excited, and part of the reason I met her family was so that they would feel comfortable letting her visit Michigan with me for the week. I buy the plane tickets and set up everything for the trip.
3 days later she expresses her concerns about going, and that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. I accepted it as a "this is your sisters wedding, and weddings are a big deal" type thing, so I bite the bullet, because by this time I am just in absolute love with this girl, more than anyone I have ever been with, including multi year relationships. and I make up some stupid ass lie to my sister/parents about how something came up and despite having already bought the tickets, I told them I never ended up buying her ticket because of the price etc etc.
Things stayed "just alright" and I assumed it was the short time we had known each other before going long distance. I was convinced once the semester started and we were able to spend time together things would work out. So the semester started, and she played the busy game, along with my intense work schedule and we only got to see each other briefly throughout the first week. I was pretty upset. So I set up a time to talk. I explained that I was confused about how distant things had seemed, and I didn't feel that I was given the proper chance and she agreed and said things could definitely be worked out and she was excited for the new semester.
3 days later we met up again, at a local park and just talked for 2-3 hours about everything, the most intense/exciting/wonderful conversation we had yet to have had. We both were open about ourselves and the things I learned about her led me to fall even more deeply in love with her, my heart melted and all I thought was "this is the girl I have been looking for, who understands me, who has similar goals as me, and who I want to be with, absolutely.
She ended the conversation by saying that she would never be happy with me and had no interest in a relationship with me. which apparently she had told some of our mutual friends beforehand....weeks beforehand. I have never quite felt like laying down on the ground and just dieing as I did that night. It was the death of unjaded, and blissful, absolute love for me.
I walked her back to her dorm, in an absolute disconnection from my mind, much like an outer body experience you would hear a rape victim describe. Not to equate this to physical rape by any means, but it was in a way a loss of innocence, in a forced, almost robbed way. We arrived back only for me to realize I had left my car keys and wallet at the park, while I was on the swing set. So I walked back, in the sprinklers, 1 mile of sprinkler, to which there was no escaping their circumference. Drenched I made it back home, only to realize it was now after midnight, and officially my birthday.
I have had to change the route I take to classes, because I would pass her form time to time, only to receive the most sincere looking smile and wave from her.
I have since met and amazing girl, one who is better for me, more common interests, and extremely more supportive. She is great, and I do cherish her. However, I am so afraid the above girl has in some way taken the strongest love I have ever been able to give, and I wish I was the person I was prior, for this current lass. It's been a journey back to the man I was prior.
I know this has been an extremely dramatic story, but alas, I want to throw a penis shaped brick through her bedroom window, back in Texas.
