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Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 12:25 pm
by UglyCasanova
Got a very sweet and funny email from my Satan.
Ah Kent,
Such a despicable young man you are. Wicked!
Despite your general naughtiness your ILFSS gift is on the way as ov this morning, your time.
I apologize, in as much as Satan apologizes for anything, for the lateness ov your majestic gift. It is not however without reason.
I had some imps in the United Kingdom selecting a lump ov coal for you that would particularly match your unique brand of sinfulness. Said coal lump only arrived yesterday. I also have some Japanese imps crafting a choice Japanese coal lump, but those imps are even lazier than the UK imps. I'm lead to believe the coal is somewhere between here and Japan, but who knows. It is not in my infernal possession, and time is ov the essence. As Lord of the Underworld I reign over many things. Time however, is not one ov these.
So this last detail will be shipped as soon as demonically possible, but despite my best efforts to motivate the pitiful postal workers I can't see it arriving at your little slice ov Norway in time for Christmas.
There is ov course also a risk that the main parcel won't arrive in time either - but souls will be eaten if this occurs.
Yours infernally,
Secret Satan
Now the postcards from Germany/France make even less sense. The hype is real and mindgames are the best!
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 1:03 pm
by jrfox92
baremountain wrote:"well, they wouldn't really know if they got one less treat than I originally planned..."
The good thing is that now, when I go back to get the candy, I know not to get what I got before because those mints really kill the mood.
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 1:05 pm
by Jwar
Dear Satan,
There is supposed to be a second gift on the way to you but I don't know if dude has shipped it. Kind of wondering what the deal is. Anyway, let me know when it arrives.
By Satan I mean Vidret as you already know.
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 1:26 pm
by UglyCasanova
You are Satan in this scenario, buddy.
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 2:14 pm
by drolo
we're all satans actually
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 4:03 pm
by oldangelmidnight
drolo wrote:Everything is wrapped inside.
The cookie (yes, ONE cookie) to my knowledge can withstand a nuclear assault so no worries there. We people of the shire always keep some stashed in some safe place to have something to offer an eventual visitor. Sometimes years go by without said visitor ...
Use it wisely
drolo wrote:we're all satans secretly
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 9:01 pm
by Iommic Pope
drolo wrote:we're all satans actually
May I paraphrase and correct the punctuation to dig this?
#totaldick
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 9:10 pm
by jrfox92
Iommic Pope wrote:drolo wrote:Actually, we're all secretly Satans.
May I paraphrase and correct the punctuation to dig this?
#totaldick
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 9:35 pm
by Inconuucl
I get to purchase my replacement main gift tomorrow.
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 5:12 am
by drolo
Iommic Pope wrote:drolo wrote:we're all satans actually
May I paraphrase and correct the punctuation to dig this?
#totaldick
go ahead, even if I don't get what you mean, my meagre English skills not permitting me to grasp all the delicate subtleties of your wonderful language
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 7:31 am
by D.o.S.
No one grasps Aussie English.
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 12:29 pm
by Eivind August
My dad let me know that he has received a package from a certain Jeremy.
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 12:34 pm
by DRodriguez
Didn't know your Dad was on ILF, I wonder who you got.
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 1:32 pm
by jrmy
A certain Jeremy? I would be careful - Jeremys are not to be trusted...
Re: Secret Satan 2017 (Get Yer Stalk On!)
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 6:32 pm
by raj007
Package arrived.
In the spirit of Satan, I opened it. Don’t tread on me!!
Also had my wife video it.
Will try and figure out how to get that here soon.
Loved every god damn thing in there —my satan rules ass. Good ass.