Worst Holidays, Ranked

[echorec]

Me and my brother just gave my father loads of beer for father's day, and we all enjoyed. You will probably enjoy it once your kids grow older.

That is absolutely not the way American Father's Day goes down.

First: Dad comes home from church and takes his weekly Sunday shit that lasts about an hour

Secondly: Dad emerges from the toilet chamber to sit on the couch for 3 hours with a newspaper, while occasionally taking a peak at the television (auto racing or some other shitty, pseudo-competitive event)

Third: Mom and Dad go through a passive-aggressive dance over what shitty chain restaurant to dine at for special Father's Day meal

Fourth: Dad gets stupid present from rich, favorite daughter

Five: favorite son emerges from private meditation to give Dad a hug and an 'I love you' greeting before retreating to his private quarters

Six: everyone goes home at different times. no special holiday brews toasted, no drama, no excitement, nothing memorable at all

[D.o.S.]

Uh, anecdotally we do it UC's way.

[UglyCasanova]

And how do I do it?

[rustywire]

@UC yeah, I'm obv speaking about the US, with considerable basis in anecdote. Men are rarely spoiled with fun gifts like women & children (there's a running gag/cliche of getting neck ties). Especially single, childless men. Guy friends rarely buy each other shit. Girl friends do like clockwork.
Single and/or childless women are still likely to be spoiled by close friends & loved ones. Obv there are exceptions, and while women do most of the shopping, it's usually on gifts for children, other women & themselves
The responsibility of driving in stressful holiday traffic to visit family, taking down the tree and decorations, paying for everything etc typically falls on the man. Also cleaning up after snowfall.

I'm not saying or implying women don't bust their ass during the holiday event. I'm saying men are treated as an afterthought re: giving, at least in the US. It is reflected in the marketing campaigns, the majority are toy commercials and jewelry. Or clothing. Occasionally big box stores can be seen hocking gadgets targeting gift-ideas-for-dad, but tend to be more family-oriented and there's greater frequency of the Lexus commercial where a 1% husband is surprised with new car wrapped in a giant bow. Makes me laugh

[UglyCasanova]

That makes sense. Guess I'm still treated like a child by my friends and family, as I've gotten videogames, pedals and money for the last 4-5 years.

And no drivers licence, no tree to decorate. GF wants videogames, sister wants things for the kitchen, mother wants the same fancy lotion as last year, dad wants the annual book recommended by your truly. Guess I have it pretty easy.

[D.o.S.]

And how do I do it?

Oh fuck me.

[Disarm D'arcy]

My brother wants nothing so he gets chocolates. My mom wants a book. My mother usually spends a 100 euros on each of me and my brother. Well for my brother she wishes she could, he never wants anything so she gets him chocolate too.

[UglyCasanova]

And how do I do it?

Oh fuck me.

You've even spent time with us IRL. How can you still mix us up? UC is the sober, rollerblading, Disarm D'arcy loving one. EA is the tipsy, laughing, waving to waiters one.

[D.o.S.]

I think it's b/c you were both posting in the thread and you got quoted (so no avatar) before I'd had any coffee.


....At least I don't mix you up in real life?

[Disarm D'arcy]

Eivind oscillates, Kent reverberates. HOW IS THAT HARD?

Edit: And didn't you stay at Eivind's for like a week?

[D.o.S.]

....At least I don't mix you up in real life?

*half hand wave*

[Disarm D'arcy]

Yeah but still. If Eivind is Eivind IRL and IOL, how's the confusion even possible at that point?

[D.o.S.]

I'm fucking stupid and no one should operate under any other premise.

This is also point C of reasons why Thanksgiving is bad: It compels me to mixup my friends.

[Invisible Man]

Obvious answer is that D only sees nationalities and can't distinguish between any folk who share a demographic.

Halloween rules, the rest are shite. In an eclipse-like event, Rusty and I agree that XMas isn't that cool...basically I buy a family's worth of gifts for everyone...and maybe buy myself something small by proxy. Kids love it; it's all good, just not particularly fun from a selfish point of view.

Should note, too, that there's no significant family dimension of Halloween....get to be with who you choose to be with, no guilt or melodrama.

To return to DoS bashing: what the fuck is wrong with turkey and potatoes (poultry philistine)? And Americans live by the sweet tears of native people all day erryday, so we might as well own our assholery by overindulging in carbs and bargain electronics. Seems pretty appropriate.

[Invisible Man]

^^^This is also why I don't participate in secret Satan...zero actual dollars once I do what I want for my ladies.