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So I was out driving a couple of friends earlier today, one of them was going to his house a like 7 miles from me, the other... let's say he's a really nice guy, flipper of choice pedals, and you know I like those. Happened to smoke a lil piff early on the way, stopped by a few grocery stores and took our good time... We finally roll up and park by the house, and as I get out of the car I see a lampshade right there on the pavement, looking all wet and sad in the rain. I pick it up and start joking to the guys about how I don't like lampshades laying outside, it's a bad omen and it makes me nervous, take it inside ffs. It's an ok bit, and I take the shade with me as we go around to the alley beside of the house, where the guy who lives there has to take a ladder up to the balcony because he's forgotten his keys. I hand the lampshade to my friend for some reason, as he hands me the jacket of the guy climbing the ladder, who is up by now and is opening the balcony door. I glance down the street and there's a police van is driving up towards us, say coops! to the guy on his way in, are we fucked, yep, they're parking behind my car... Four cops get out, one of them a lady in a coat.

The lady is the one who pats down my friend, an undercover cop in Lacoste shoes takes me aside and asks me all kinds of questions; am I the driver (yes) have I taken any drugs (no) ever (no), he then searches me and the jacket good (there's nothing) and gives me a finger test (pretty sure it's a pass). Now i'm pretty nervous at this time, shaking a bit, but thankfully it's cold and I'm quick so I explain away everything with my anxiety and try to keep eye contact, because I know I don't look high. I can see behind him that the lady has found nothing on my bud, I am relieved as fuck and things start to calm down. Meanwhile, our ladder friend has gotten into the house and opened the door for the other cops (some of whom seem to know him) to get inside, while we stay outside with the plainclothes man. I keep pretty quiet, my friend is talking about his dog a lot and it's working in turning the conversation away from drugs, which since they haven't found anything are not high (!) on the agenda with us. We talk for like 5 minutes until the others come out. Turns out they were looking for some guy who has been crashing there lately, in relation to some oxy. The dude I drove home is not in cuffs. The cops don't seem to recognize our names as they write them down and leave.

We go inside and marvel at our luck. My friend fishes out an innocuous pack of headache pills from his pocket - the inside conceals something else, still innocent but sticky. How she didn't register it he had no idea... everybody gets headaches right? Fucking A+. Nothing actionable was found in the house either, which the cops fortunately didn't have a permit to raid. It could have definitely gone worse. Yep. I would hated myself if he got busted for something related to me, but then mostly because of that other dude... There's more to the story but I've been long winded enough about it. Just had to get it down because it's my closest call and we were super lucky to get out of it. Celebrating with a spliff rn.

tl/dr: Lucky Lampshade, Scandinavian Cops, scot free