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Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2016 2:13 pm
by decomposing
chuckjaywalk wrote:It is a quiet agony. There is a weight crushing me every day and that weight is my car. It needs a new headgasket, but I can't afford that. I'm not mechanically inclined and my garage is dirt floored and has no electricity. Every day, I don't know how I am getting back and forth to work, or even if I can. Twice this week, I was stranded for over 4 hours after my shift. I can't leave. I can't run errands. Every single moment of every day is covered by a black cloud. I can't go to the laundromat. I can't go to the grocery store.. My roommate, who is firmly a roommate now, doesn't talk to me. She avoids me, no matter how sunny my disposition. I am alone all day at work. I'm alone or worse at home. I don't have friends. I can't go anywhere. I am broke. I have all but the most indispensable pedals on Reverb. I can't even buy a gun to end this. I am like Prometheus stuck on a rock. I just want to go to work. I want to pay my bills. I want to not be alone every moment of every day. I'd like some affection. I can't go on a date. I can't go out for a drink.
Oh, hi! I'm a carless IT guy who works graveyard shifts and lives with his ex-girlfriend. I'm sad all the time and I want to chew my arm off, but I'm a good cuddler and I like pizza.
it'll get better
I went through a really bad divorce and lost my house through it
and my dogs were split up
and my credit was/is fucked
I'm pretty much celibate
live at home again
but looking on the bright side of all this which has been hard to do
I had to go through a lot to shed it all off
and delve into past shit too
but has made me confront things that are making me stronger
and have a new perspective on life in general
and know what I want out of it
just trying to still figure out how to balance it in the system we've created
it's really fucked having us chase our tails all the time
the class system is really showing itself these days
YOU CAN DO THIS.
really deep breaths help me when I feel like I'm going to explode.
until I feel calm again.
anyways not trying to preach but want to send good vibes.
edit.
it's fucking sunny here finally so I'm taking my deaf awesome dog for a motherfucking walk in the woods by a raging stream to a waterfall destination.
I could work on my resume but I could also do that later.
YO.
edited gaain. didn't get to go because of beast issues with her mouth
got to go for a walk that made me grit my teeth
yay!
weed and whiskey
till another day
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:58 pm
by Jwar
chuckjaywalk wrote: I can't even buy a gun to end this. .
Chuck,
This sentence alone is something that signifies to me that you need some help beyond what I or anyone else here can offer. I wonder if there are any support groups in your area that can offer you some grief relief. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It's an awful way to feel and I have been there man. Not in your exact situation but in others that lead me to think putting a gun in my mouth was the answer. I never had the guts to squeeze the trigger thank God and I hope you would never do that either. Please, please seek out some guidance. Whatever you feel appropriate.
There has to be someway to get help. Don't give up man. Just push on and try your hardest. Life's a bitch sometimes, but you can get through it.
If you need any help, I'll do my best to give to you. I'm several states away but I can at least try.
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2016 9:51 pm
by decomposing
evan williams and girl scout cookies is an almost legal ayahuasca that won't kill you because a fucked up greedy shaman rapes you
get out of yo self man
http://www.mensjournal.com/magazine/the ... a-20130215
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdHK_r9RXTc[/youtube]
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2016 10:05 pm
by decomposing
thisalsomightbethewaytothegods
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRi7lLVPYXk[/youtube]
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 5:05 pm
by friendship
chuckjaywalk wrote:It is a quiet agony. There is a weight crushing me every day and that weight is my car. It needs a new headgasket, but I can't afford that. I'm not mechanically inclined and my garage is dirt floored and has no electricity. Every day, I don't know how I am getting back and forth to work, or even if I can. Twice this week, I was stranded for over 4 hours after my shift. I can't leave. I can't run errands. Every single moment of every day is covered by a black cloud. I can't go to the laundromat. I can't go to the grocery store.. My roommate, who is firmly a roommate now, doesn't talk to me. She avoids me, no matter how sunny my disposition. I am alone all day at work. I'm alone or worse at home. I don't have friends. I can't go anywhere. I am broke. I have all but the most indispensable pedals on Reverb. I can't even buy a gun to end this. I am like Prometheus stuck on a rock. I just want to go to work. I want to pay my bills. I want to not be alone every moment of every day. I'd like some affection. I can't go on a date. I can't go out for a drink.
Oh, hi! I'm a carless IT guy who works graveyard shifts and lives with his ex-girlfriend. I'm sad all the time and I want to chew my arm off, but I'm a good cuddler and I like pizza.
I wish I could help. All I can offer is the assurance that you're not alone. I've also been in a hole for some time and it just seems to get worse and worse every single day.
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 8:09 pm
by decomposing
friendship wrote:chuckjaywalk wrote:It is a quiet agony. There is a weight crushing me every day and that weight is my car. It needs a new headgasket, but I can't afford that. I'm not mechanically inclined and my garage is dirt floored and has no electricity. Every day, I don't know how I am getting back and forth to work, or even if I can. Twice this week, I was stranded for over 4 hours after my shift. I can't leave. I can't run errands. Every single moment of every day is covered by a black cloud. I can't go to the laundromat. I can't go to the grocery store.. My roommate, who is firmly a roommate now, doesn't talk to me. She avoids me, no matter how sunny my disposition. I am alone all day at work. I'm alone or worse at home. I don't have friends. I can't go anywhere. I am broke. I have all but the most indispensable pedals on Reverb. I can't even buy a gun to end this. I am like Prometheus stuck on a rock. I just want to go to work. I want to pay my bills. I want to not be alone every moment of every day. I'd like some affection. I can't go on a date. I can't go out for a drink.
Oh, hi! I'm a carless IT guy who works graveyard shifts and lives with his ex-girlfriend. I'm sad all the time and I want to chew my arm off, but I'm a good cuddler and I like pizza.
I wish I could help. All I can offer is the assurance that you're not alone. I've also been in a hole for some time and it just seems to get worse and worse every single day.
seriously not alone
things today are harder than ever to dig out and do it alone
you need close friends, roomates, family or a co-op?
I want to live liek the muppets.
who else is in?
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 1:48 am
by chuckjaywalk
decomposing wrote:friendship wrote:chuckjaywalk wrote:It is a quiet agony. There is a weight crushing me every day and that weight is my car. It needs a new headgasket, but I can't afford that. I'm not mechanically inclined and my garage is dirt floored and has no electricity. Every day, I don't know how I am getting back and forth to work, or even if I can. Twice this week, I was stranded for over 4 hours after my shift. I can't leave. I can't run errands. Every single moment of every day is covered by a black cloud. I can't go to the laundromat. I can't go to the grocery store.. My roommate, who is firmly a roommate now, doesn't talk to me. She avoids me, no matter how sunny my disposition. I am alone all day at work. I'm alone or worse at home. I don't have friends. I can't go anywhere. I am broke. I have all but the most indispensable pedals on Reverb. I can't even buy a gun to end this. I am like Prometheus stuck on a rock. I just want to go to work. I want to pay my bills. I want to not be alone every moment of every day. I'd like some affection. I can't go on a date. I can't go out for a drink.
Oh, hi! I'm a carless IT guy who works graveyard shifts and lives with his ex-girlfriend. I'm sad all the time and I want to chew my arm off, but I'm a good cuddler and I like pizza.
I wish I could help. All I can offer is the assurance that you're not alone. I've also been in a hole for some time and it just seems to get worse and worse every single day.
seriously not alone
things today are harder than ever to dig out and do it alone
you need close friends, roomates, family or a co-op?
I want to live liek the muppets.
who else is in?
I'm definitely in. I hate living alone, but I don't want to be in another relationship for awhile. I can cook!
Seriously, though, major updates. She is moving out on April 15th. I have to get my car situation under control long before then. If I can get this one thing, I can at least survive. I just need this.
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 2:03 am
by decomposing
dude we can rotate cooking nights
I cook a mean stir-fry
are you close to syracuse?
http://www.yelp.com/search?cflt=autorep ... cuse%2C+NY
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 4:40 am
by chuckjaywalk
Radio Edit
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 7:11 am
by Eivind August
Dude. I know that it's hard asking for financial help, but I'd gladly throw a couple of bucks your way if you will accept. I'm writing this here instead of in a PM, because I think others would be up to it as well.
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 1:49 pm
by decomposing
vidret wrote:i'm out of a job atm, and feel pretty shit throwing 10$ at you, but if it helps (and it will if enough people do it) then yeah i'm in.
also come on. move in together. make the ultimate ILF collab.
I'm working odd jobs and pretty broke too but could throw a few too at you
if more people realized that we're all in this together,
especially those who hold something in common.
gofundme?
I've been trying to start a house for a while and it's not been successful.
yet.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgFwHd7lr4g[/youtube]
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 9:02 pm
by chuckjaywalk
Radio Edit
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 9:37 pm
by decomposing
vidret wrote:well. how much do you need to get your car repaired if you manage to sell the things you're planning to sell?
let's start there. you counting on using all the ss/bs pedals btw?
and then we'll just divide it up and see how many people we'd need on board. simple. and if not, you'll at least get closer.
rather not anothr brother of fuzz think dark thoughts
trust me I'm there
if it wasn't for whiskey and weed
and my deaf dog I'd go postal
though I don't want to
all hints I'm not where I'm supposed to be
but making me who I'm supposed to be in the process
let's do this!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnaSRhMB_qo[/youtube]
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 1:19 am
by chuckjaywalk
Shop said $1500 was the conservative number.
Re: Dear ILF, Advice Needed
Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 10:01 am
by hbombgraphics
That's alot for one person but not an insurmountable sum for the ILF crew