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untilshewokeme wrote:"It needs to be sexier. Make is sexier"

Worse graphic design feedback ever.

Oh, that's good. My least favorite is "Just be really creative with it." (NOT from my boss, thank effing gawd). That one makes me want to turn in a drawing of a four-headed dog cyborg wielding a samurai sword and a flamethrower. I can just imagine the reaction:

"We needed an infographic about philanthropic giving for the annual report."
"Oh. Well, you told me to just be really creative."

My least favorite comment from a boss was from the head of a studio I used to freelance at, who told me "Really, I don't want anyone to think of me as the boss."

"We're letting you go per July 1st."

I had a boss who was the king of malaprops. The one he would mangle on a daily basis was "rigmarole". Instead of saying "This project is turning into a huge rigmarole", he would say "This project is turning into a huge rigor mortis".

There were three of us on his team and we pretty much expected his every other statement to be complete nonsense, but it was always entertaining to be in a meeting and see other people trying to figure out what he just said.

The other day my boss said this over the phone

"well that's probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do........"

I think it's a compliment

"i know it's a big ask, but would you mind doing something about the dead possum in the driveway?"

it was seriously the biggest and deadest possum i had ever seen, extreme rigor mortis to the point that once i shoveled into a box and then shoveled that box into a series of trash bags, the tail was still sticking out.

nice....
we had a fox die a few months ago

my boss paid someone 200 bucks to come get it

I offered to do it for 100

it's still totally weird to me having employees, so i'm sure there's gotta be things they hate that i say or think it's funny, but i know at least one hates me for how many times i correct his grammar saying "but <whoever> isn't mean..." (i'm a dick about grammar sometimes. you don't say "me and <whoever>."

they think something's wrong when they ask how i am and i respond with "peachy." it bugs me how that generic greeting question is almost always responded to with "i'm good, how are you?"
stop fucking asking me. i'm not always good. you'll be able to tell how i am by our interaction aside from that stupid greeting. my dad is guilty of that as my boss at my other job. always asks me. i totally prefer how "what's up?" or "hey" or "hi" don't even really need an answer beyond a return of the same.

*end rant

Dude, some girl I was training the other day was flabbergasted that when people ask me how I'm going, and I respond, "yeah, not bad. How's yourself?" instead of replying, "I'm fucking amazing and every word I speak to you is giving me a full body orgasm!" was some kind of horrible crime or admission that I was a suicidal masochist.

Fucking young people.

Haven't had a boss for a while now, but a good chunk of the most obnoxious shit I've heard [them] utter was always something like "We need to do <such and such>" and there was never any we about it.

When I worked in that non-Blockbuster corporate video chain back in the day (2002) the regional manager had to come open the store on a stifling hot July Sunday because one of those always-calling-out-sick-female-employees didn't show/quit with no notice. So I got stuck working with this angry, middle-aged, uppity Indian dude. Upon locking the door after the longest, unnecessarily difficult shift I worked at that job, he lights up a cig and says "I know you're not supposed to smoke in here, but I'll smoke where I want" to which I gave him my standard "GFY" chortle.
He was always trying to motivate us via fax ( ) to "beat last month's numbers!!!" and push dumb promotions like prepaid rental coupons and rewards bullshit...while limiting everyone but the store manager's hours to about 18-24 a week, at $6/hr. No breaks unless you smoked. The only reason anyone worked there was simple: get paid to watch movies and get free movie/game rentals.
These assholes were trying to sell new release single disc DVDs for $30 when there was a ma/pa type video/cellphone spot 1 block away, with all the same titles for $22. "Property values and taxes are high, there's money in the area" was the bullshit justification. Store was the first in the area to shut its doors.

I am the boss this week and nobody understands anything I say so it doesn't really matter.

That video store stuff is funny
Some day I am going to tell my kids all about Video stores and other Legendary things like chorded phones

hbombgraphics wrote:I am the boss this week and nobody understands anything I say so it doesn't really matter.

That video store stuff is funny
Some day I am going to tell my kids all about Video stores and other Legendary things like chorded phones

chorded or corded?
"does this phone come with a major or a minor?"

Iommic Pope wrote:Dude, some girl I was training the other day was flabbergasted that when people ask me how I'm going, and I respond, "yeah, not bad. How's yourself?" instead of replying, "I'm fucking amazing and every word I speak to you is giving me a full body orgasm!" was some kind of horrible crime or admission that I was a suicidal masochist.

Fucking young people.

When people ask me that I just say "Ya know, feel like hanging myself." Great way for people to not bother me.

With a smile: "You can stalk me."

space6oy wrote:

hbombgraphics wrote:I am the boss this week and nobody understands anything I say so it doesn't really matter.

That video store stuff is funny
Some day I am going to tell my kids all about Video stores and other Legendary things like chorded phones

chorded or corded?
"does this phone come with a major or a minor?"

dang dude, missed that,
yeah my old phone you had to play chords for corresponding numbers
it was a pain

plus BB King couldn't use it