Awaken, dreary, sprawled upon the shores of weary sleep, the tidal memories recede of dreams the deepest waters eat with greedy mouths of gnashing teeth, they always feed but seldom speak of visions lost by human beings upon departing psychic seas,
Not certain where I am, too weak to raise a hand to draw the curtain open, trapped in blackness, blind, confused, confined to soaking salty sheets secreting pungent undulating waves of humid heat like spoiled meat left boiling underneath the mid-day solar rays, a grating stench of dull decay pervades the sense like rusting blades cutting through a haze of densely grained malaise,
Minutes pass like years while I regenerate, afraid to move in fear the raw new skin could tear and peel from off my limp, aching limbs before they get a chance to heal around a thousand pins and needles I can't quite see but I can feel them all embedded, spreading unrelenting under membrane, mould encased, restrained, infirm, in spurned embrace,
The seismic spinning in my skull winds down to a slow, grinding halt, spilling mind through gaps in fault lines, stalling time while I lapse tacitly falling enthralled in stolid slack, lacking reason to rise I can no longer find, drifting aimless through clouds shrowding focused distraction, by absence of substance, I surrender all access to programs that govern somatic reaction,
Swiftly lifted on limping feet, the automation oddly proceeds to repeat, carried upstream in a struggle to redeem a fleeting feeling of normalcy, I recoil as disloyal glass exposes a seemingly surreal sight of squalid me, gauntly bristled cheeks, wincing, lips steal back revealing cracking coffee stained teeth, blackened eyes retreat burrowing beneath the sagging skin, a thinning head of spindly hair recedes from a furrowed face displayed dismal, in despair,
Sunken in torpor, the torture of sustained disorder demands I resort to invite the grandiose hands of mad distortion to help sort through portions of hoarded abhorrent notions and obscene obsessed devotions, to destroy duress with constant motion, throw myself into the ocean, coherence broken down in a current of psychotropic potion, drowning to the sound of pure emotion softly smashing open, lines blurred, absurdity serves its purpose, words unheard, or just utterly worthless, adrift in my wake, as I quake and shudder while I nervously wait to float to the surface,
Perhaps if I stay absolutely still for a while, I'll idly rise from within the vile depths of darkness, light emerged spills out like bile from a violent esophogeal purging riled up from all the pills I swallowed followed by the sour taste of illness urging me to quell the strain instilled within my weakling brain, deserving all the blame for playing wilful games, deserting shameful learned behaviour,
I scramble for a pen with all the concentration that involves, strangle it resolvedly, but not with anger, calling out for inspiration to reveal the road to revelation through the page, I bleed asemic line configurations, inky intricate mutations spreading infinitely in directionless formation, then precipitous cessation as I stare, I see a glaringly familiar terror leering back, and like a mirror all the paper clearly shows me is my own crippling misery and frustration sowing jaded seeds of sick stagnation,
I think I need to step out just to sooth my lungs with brooding, cool air, a fool, I need to spare myself of further solitary ensnarement in my own sinking disrepair, aware the world outside could prove more crude than I would care to handle, standing underneath the stars they start to flicker like dripping candles in a drafty room, laughing, manic, to the tune of their own frantic souls growing old enough to slip and let go, switch is flipped and no one seems to notice life and death are intertwined, and when it dies, the negative becomes implied, the shallow void it leaves behind engulfs the heavenly divide,
Return back into loathsome body, hurried through a wormhole, thoughtless plodding down a foreign street I travelled almost every single day this week, I don't remember where it leads, but in the shifting distance exists a house I'm nearly sure I've been to, in the window, passing, I pause to notice momentarily, ghosts of things I used to know, refusing to acknowledge a confused deluded host to hopeless fawning in the most pathetic expression of regret confessed although the thrawn of spectres would prefer to just forget,
It's evident I don't belong here, welcome overstayed, like a faded rumination, I'm gone to find a sheltered place to lay my heavy hemmhoraged head, but which way did I come from, again? The path before me splinters, but if I recall the intrinsic system, doesn't matter which I pick, the destination's always fixed,
There's seedy people creeping in the grass, I hear them whispering their twisting tidings, voiced too quiet in contrast to the wind that briskly whistles past, inciting me to join and take up space in this tangled terrain, retire for the remnants of the night, I listen intently to their harrowed plight, in vain I surrender to the constraint of my grave, pray the end to finally send it's winged agents down to save me,
Sure enough, the bed of worms attracts the swarming birds to ground themselves around me, covetous loving beaks surrounding, starting with the softest parts of meat, the eyes are sweetly eaten to obfuscate the sight of being slowly pulled apart, ears devoured dampens wicked cackling as the bowels are extracted with their grappling talons, keep their cravings satisfied for hours, drunk on blood, can't stop myself from choking since they stole my supple tongue,
I can feel the sweltering dawn arrive to beat it's warmth down upon my wilting shredded carcass as I slip down into emptyness, solemn pondering if I could enjoy myself this pleasant day, but perhaps I was never really meant to stay
