Re: Manscaping time
Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 8:32 am
Alright, if you're going to do this, do it fucking right. Got it? Good. Buy a high quality ladies' razor. Don't give me that "What if if someone finds it and thinks I'm gay?" shit, either. Be a man and buy a ladies' razor.
Now get a good quality shaving cream. Not a foam. Not a gel. A cream. You can find them wherever, but if you're willing to venture out and find something minty it feels great on your balls. I know you're not shaving your balls (even though you should), but you'll want to put some on your balls. It's nice.
If the hairs are long, trim them short. Use whatever. It doesn't really matter. Clippers, scissors, whatever. This helps keep your new ladies' razor from clogging.
Now, get in the fucking shower and turn that shit on hot. I mean, not too hot. If your balls reach your knees you've gone too far. Clean yourself like normal, and while your skin is still wet, rub on the cream. Let the cream sit there for a bit. Now you're ready.
Shave (with your new ladies' razor) with the grain. You'll notice it's hard to figure out which way the grain around your nipples. Congrats, you just learned something about yourself. It goes toward your chest. But, it's hard to shave the tops and bottoms in that direction, so shave cross grain there. Probably away from the nipple, but you do you. Side note: rinse the razor every stroke or two. There shouldn't be any hair stuck in it. On everything else, you pretty well shave down until you get to the stomach. Feel around, you'll figure it out. Now, you're probably not smooth now. Don't worry. That's why you got the minty stuff that feels nice. Rinse off, and reapply the shaving cream. I know it seems like you're using a lot, but you really don't need much. Now, shave in the opposite direction. Rinse off, and use a moisturizing oil. Baby oil is fine if you're OK with the smell. Lotions are hit-or-miss. Palmer's cocoa butter will make you smell amazing and works pretty well. Moisturizing is super important, so don't be a macho dick about it.
Rub yourself. You now feel amazing. All the girls would love to rub you, if only they knew. If. Only. They. Knew. Put your shirt on. Feel that? The cotton, resting against your skin in a way you've never felt? That's what freedom feels like. Freedom from the tyranny of itchy chest hair. Embrace it. Love it. You'll never go back.
Also, you won't get semen stuck in it anymore, so, you know. Bonus!
Now get a good quality shaving cream. Not a foam. Not a gel. A cream. You can find them wherever, but if you're willing to venture out and find something minty it feels great on your balls. I know you're not shaving your balls (even though you should), but you'll want to put some on your balls. It's nice.
If the hairs are long, trim them short. Use whatever. It doesn't really matter. Clippers, scissors, whatever. This helps keep your new ladies' razor from clogging.
Now, get in the fucking shower and turn that shit on hot. I mean, not too hot. If your balls reach your knees you've gone too far. Clean yourself like normal, and while your skin is still wet, rub on the cream. Let the cream sit there for a bit. Now you're ready.
Shave (with your new ladies' razor) with the grain. You'll notice it's hard to figure out which way the grain around your nipples. Congrats, you just learned something about yourself. It goes toward your chest. But, it's hard to shave the tops and bottoms in that direction, so shave cross grain there. Probably away from the nipple, but you do you. Side note: rinse the razor every stroke or two. There shouldn't be any hair stuck in it. On everything else, you pretty well shave down until you get to the stomach. Feel around, you'll figure it out. Now, you're probably not smooth now. Don't worry. That's why you got the minty stuff that feels nice. Rinse off, and reapply the shaving cream. I know it seems like you're using a lot, but you really don't need much. Now, shave in the opposite direction. Rinse off, and use a moisturizing oil. Baby oil is fine if you're OK with the smell. Lotions are hit-or-miss. Palmer's cocoa butter will make you smell amazing and works pretty well. Moisturizing is super important, so don't be a macho dick about it.
Rub yourself. You now feel amazing. All the girls would love to rub you, if only they knew. If. Only. They. Knew. Put your shirt on. Feel that? The cotton, resting against your skin in a way you've never felt? That's what freedom feels like. Freedom from the tyranny of itchy chest hair. Embrace it. Love it. You'll never go back.
Also, you won't get semen stuck in it anymore, so, you know. Bonus!