ilovefuzz.com

UglyCasanova wrote:

Cmon dude, I expected more than a gif from you.
It's ILF, we can't have a discussion about finding a person attractive without politicising the fuck out of it, so THROW DOWN.

Is this ILF's version of a "Women at Shows" thread?

Iommic Pope wrote:

UglyCasanova wrote:

Cmon dude, I expected more than a gif from you.
It's ILF, we can't have a discussion about finding a person attractive without politicising the fuck out of it, so THROW DOWN.

I got hit on quite a lot when I worked in a hip clothing store a few years back, by both women and men. Got asked for my phone number, had my ass pinched, got invited into the dressing room, asked to movies/concerts/a drink after my shift etc. Personally, I found it annoying and creepy. It's my workplace, not your speed dating waterhole or dirty slut club.

Better?

So anyway, there was this one place I went to that was right by the river, and the girl that was normally on was a ridiculously good looking and bubbly eastern euro lady. She was definitely a draw card but the real reason I went there was because they're the only joint in the area I know of that did Turkish delight mochas.
Anyway, she'd always remember my order because I was the only weirdo that bought these, but one day I saw her getting around outside of work hours, I went to say hello, just to be friendly because we have a fairly good rapport when I take clients to buy coffee from her at work, and she totally blanked me.
This enraged me, as it made it pretty clear that she couldn't be fucked unless she was getting paid.
So, cute Barristas: they can be ugly on the inside.
It's not all smiles and patterns in the coffee.

It's their job to be nice to you when they're working...

foomanfat wrote:Is this ILF's version of a "Women at Shows" thread?

What is that?

UglyCasanova wrote:

Iommic Pope wrote:

UglyCasanova wrote:

Cmon dude, I expected more than a gif from you.
It's ILF, we can't have a discussion about finding a person attractive without politicising the fuck out of it, so THROW DOWN.

I got hit on quite a lot when I worked in a hip clothing store a few years back, by both women and men. Got asked for my phone number, had my ass pinched, got invited into the dressing room, asked to movies/concerts/a drink after my shift etc. Personally, I found it annoying and creepy. It's my workplace, not your speed dating waterhole or dirty slut club.

Better?

Much. Thank you for letting me know how terrible it is to be found phyisically attractive by others.
In all seriousness though that is pretty awful.
Getting asked out is one thing, but ass grabbing. That's rough.

Ok, I'm old (and thank fuck I don't have to date anymore) but if I find someone attractive and they are at work, is it no longer OK to ask them out?
Like, a polite "no" is fine if it isn't reciprocal, but how the fuck else are you supposed to meet people and broach the subject.
Nobody answer "Internet" either or I will lose my last thread of faith in anyone under 25.

UglyCasanova wrote:It's their job to be nice to you when they're working...

Not really.
I've had some pretty rude people serve me in the past.
I don't expect a lot from customer service and when you've had actual conversations with an individual it's a bit rough to just be blanked outside of an "I'm being paid to deal with you" context. I wouldn't do that to someone I encountered at work, unless it was in a medical/psychological context where there a are clear professional guidelines about that.
But fuck, you made me a coffee, you didn't get me off heroine or counsel me about my suicide attempt.
Get over yourself.

It puts them in an extremely awkward situation where they're supposed to do their job (which should theoretically include being nice to their customers), yet they have to deal with something personal while in that professional role. You are putting them on the spot and it's not like they can just ignore you because that would be rude and bad for business. It's not just as easy as saying 'no'. They don't know you or what you are capable of (just like you don't know them or their preferences), like telling your manager that you're rude or whatever, getting you into trouble. This is my experience with it. You not being able to find a SO in a park/at a party/show, online, on the bus or whatever is not justification for putting people in the service business at your romantic disposal.

Sorry if that was a bit of a pissy rant, but you didn't like my gif

UglyCasanova wrote:You not being able to find a SO in a park/at a party/show, online, on the bus or whatever is not justification for putting people in the service business at your romantic disposal.

Says you.

Hence:

UglyCasanova wrote:This is my experience with it

Some people might love being picked up at work, just don't be surprised if they don't and try to understand why that is.

No it's cool.
I'm discussing this with work colleagues and basically while, yes most people thought it would be awkward to face rejection it doesn't seem to justify the risk of not putting yourself out there. Which I honestly thought was the biggest barrier here, that people were no longer prepared to take a risk like that.
We didn't consider the professional context, so that is interesting, but again, I don't think it's that big a deal. Maybe things are more casual about that down here I dunno.
I guess I didn't consider the potential for psycho screening. But again, maybe because I haven't had to do this for years, I don't consider it psycho to just ask someone out?
Like, this is just how we used to do shit.
Dating was opportunistic, it's not like everyone working in the service industry or wherever you happen to meet them is subject to being at someone's "Disposal".

I hear you. We have the same dating culture here, so it's not like only psychos ask random people out on dates. All I'm saying is that there are other arenas that are better suited for such proposals than a random person's workplace.

Just to be clear, I'm not a fan of online dating apps/websites either. The last paper I wrote at university this semester was actually a critique of online dating. I recommend reading "In Praise of Love" by Alaine Badiou if you find the topic interesting. Great short read!

I'm a fan of My Brother My Brother and Me's rule, "If the person cannot turn and sprint away from you, do not try to ask them out."

foomanfat wrote:I'm a fan of My Brother My Brother and Me's rule, "If the person cannot turn and sprint away from you, do not try to ask them out."

Basically this.

foomanfat wrote:I'm a fan of My Brother My Brother and Me's rule, "If the person cannot turn and sprint away from you, do not try to ask them out."

So basically you're an ableist.