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But you did get to use milquetoast.

Milk-Toast.

French Toast.

Freedom Toast.

In the interest of avoiding crazy brain bull shit, i'll just say i feel like tons of weird shit happens to me. Anti-milquetoast life.

This isn't impossible necessarily but Arizona was crazy. When I was 10 I narrowly avoided being kidnapped and most likely molested and/or murdered.

A friend and I were walking back to my dad's shop through a busy part of town. A truck pulled up next to us and the guy opened the passenger door and said "Your dad sent me to pick you up, get in." I didn't recognize the guy so I was like fuck that. I said no and the guy got pissed and said "Get in the fucking car." So I started to run, but he was in a truck so obviously had no trouble keeping up.

So I turned around and ran the other direction and it was a busy street so the guy couldn't just back up or turn around. He flipped out and screamed something like I'm going to come back and fucking get you but luckily we were pretty close to the shop at that point. We just avoided the road and walked next to buildings and stuff until we got the shop. I asked my Dad if he sent someone to get me and he said no. I told him what happened and he freaked out a little, understandably, and then took me to get pizza and ice cream and a bunch of new toys haha

As a teenager, my friends and i took turns standing out of a sun roof wearing swimming goggles and a towel as a cape while the car hit 115 mph. While that in and of itself is not impossible, with that level of risk/danger assessment, i'm a little surprised to be here at 30. ish. almost. soon.

My Berenstein Bears book is spelled with an "a".

Hahaha


I'll say another thing that I thought impossible.

I was pulled over as a teen after cutting a cop off. I had 2 and a half ounces of pot on me, a loaded pipe that I'd just lit, and two bags with about 90 pills in them. I was with my best friend Tyson at the time (I miss that guy).

The officer handcuffed me, read me my rights, put me in the car, then proceeded to lecture me. After lecturing me and telling me I was going to go to jail for a very long time, she asked me if the stuff was mine or his. I said immediately it was mine. She got out of the car and walk away to where another officer was parked and interrogating my friend.

A few minutes pass and they bring my friend over, still cuffed, and said "well this never happens, but we are going to let you go". My heart almost exploded from confusion. They told us because we were both so honorable and tried to claim the stuff as ours that they'd let one of us off and the other would get a simple ticket. My buddy told me to shut the hell up and he took the ticket despite my protests.

The funniest thing about it is they gave me my pills back because I was prescribed them, but they were in bags because I was going to sell them. They just gave them back.

To this day, I still think about this event because those fucking pills could have put me in prison for a long, long time.

Not impossible, but highly unlikely and educational.

Neon and Physic, those are both crazy! I'm glad you're both ok!!! Geez!

I touched a boob once.

I went through two different puberties 10 years apart.

I essentially met my fiance by sending pics of my junk to random women on snapchat?

Incidentally, that is also how I met your fiance.

Heyo!

I laughed so fucking hard when I read that I had to read it to like three other people! hahahaha

jwar wrote:The funniest thing about it is they gave me my pills back because I was prescribed them, but they were in bags because I was going to sell them. They just gave them back.

So did you sell them?

should have fell on my head when i was climbing rocks in santa cruz a week or two ago. luckily i landed flat on my back on a flat rock below. walked away with just a sprained ankle. i was high as a kite. i should have not landed so gracefully for a human.