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THEBEERHAMMER wrote:HOMEMADE TAMPONS- what they didn't teach you in girl scouts
surely there are several moments throughout a woman's lifetime in which we are going about our day and are suddenly discomforted by the feeling of an unexpected, squishy surprise in our undies, and sure enough, 'that time of the month' has snuck up on us again- aw gee whizz.

while i was on my last period i was at my boyfriend's getting ready for bed one evening, and realized while i was using the bathroom that i had just plunged my last tampon into the toilet- FUCK. it was too late to run to the corner store, i was tired, in my pajamas, had just washed my face, brushed my teeth, and was over all feeling lazy. i first debated just not wearing anything, allowing myself the natural process of just letting it bleed, and then considered the consequence of making an unwanted mess all over my boyfriend's sheets. 'no, no, that isn't fair,' i thought to myself, so naturally i had to improvise, and decided to make a homemade tampon.

this was not the first time i had to make a homemade tampon- as i had found myself in a similar position while housesitting for a male friend late one evening, but it was however the first time i made a SUCCESSFUL homemade tampon. now, every woman's definition of a successful homemade tampon may vary, but i will share the definition of mine, and the art of its composition.

it started out just like every other homemade tampon i had made, i took my right index and middle finger and began tightly winding toilet paper around them

(*TIP- the thickness of your homemade tampon may vary due to menstrual flow, but don't expect to match the thickness of a manufactured tampon as that would be TOO MUCH TOLIET PAPER- for a lighter flow i recommend using your index finger only, or folding a homemade maxi pad, otherwise your flow will not absorb the tampon in its entirety and you will be pulling toilet paper out of your vagina like it's fucking party streamers, which may result in a panic that you have lost toilet paper in your pu$$y- THIS IS NOT A PARTY- THIS IS A SURVIVAL SKILL*)

i implanted the tampon and *TWISTED* a bit of the end which later made for EASY removal! while inserting your homemade tampon, make sure it is placed far enough inside so that you don't feel the wad coming out of your crotch (THIS WILL MAKE YOU WALK FUNNY AND WITH DISCOMFORT), but yet close enough so you can hook and twist it out with ease after absorption.

so there, i had made my tampon and gone to bed for the evening. The next morning i woke up and went to the restroom, but, this time was different, i felt absolutely ZERO discomfort in my short walk, but continued on and prepared myself to struggle with my homemade tampon and its removal. Usually i just fish for it and pull it out like it's scarves from a clown hat, however, this time, i inserted my index finger, found the tampon, HOOK AND TWISTED it out in one swift, quick movement, and- the whole thing came out just like that! this had never happened before! i was utterly astonished and...stoked? that morning i figured i would stop for tampons along my way to work, but as i passed the walgreens, i decided to carry on and with a high head on my shoulders, relishing in the satisfaction of my comfortable, recession friendly homemade tampon. i felt like i had won.


that afternoon i shared my experience with some of my girlfriends who too were familiar with the homemade tampon, and we gathered around exchanging tips and tricks as if we were apart of a secret feminine society.


the homemade tampon, it's what they didn't teach you in girl scouts, and something every gal should master for when that unexpected visitor comes each month (well, or so we hope

Blackened Soul wrote:

THEBEERHAMMER wrote:HOMEMADE TAMPONS- what they didn't teach you in girl scouts
surely there are several moments throughout a woman's lifetime in which we are going about our day and are suddenly discomforted by the feeling of an unexpected, squishy surprise in our undies, and sure enough, 'that time of the month' has snuck up on us again- aw gee whizz.

while i was on my last period i was at my boyfriend's getting ready for bed one evening, and realized while i was using the bathroom that i had just plunged my last tampon into the toilet- FUCK. it was too late to run to the corner store, i was tired, in my pajamas, had just washed my face, brushed my teeth, and was over all feeling lazy. i first debated just not wearing anything, allowing myself the natural process of just letting it bleed, and then considered the consequence of making an unwanted mess all over my boyfriend's sheets. 'no, no, that isn't fair,' i thought to myself, so naturally i had to improvise, and decided to make a homemade tampon.

this was not the first time i had to make a homemade tampon- as i had found myself in a similar position while housesitting for a male friend late one evening, but it was however the first time i made a SUCCESSFUL homemade tampon. now, every woman's definition of a successful homemade tampon may vary, but i will share the definition of mine, and the art of its composition.

it started out just like every other homemade tampon i had made, i took my right index and middle finger and began tightly winding toilet paper around them

(*TIP- the thickness of your homemade tampon may vary due to menstrual flow, but don't expect to match the thickness of a manufactured tampon as that would be TOO MUCH TOLIET PAPER- for a lighter flow i recommend using your index finger only, or folding a homemade maxi pad, otherwise your flow will not absorb the tampon in its entirety and you will be pulling toilet paper out of your vagina like it's fucking party streamers, which may result in a panic that you have lost toilet paper in your pu$$y- THIS IS NOT A PARTY- THIS IS A SURVIVAL SKILL*)

i implanted the tampon and *TWISTED* a bit of the end which later made for EASY removal! while inserting your homemade tampon, make sure it is placed far enough inside so that you don't feel the wad coming out of your crotch (THIS WILL MAKE YOU WALK FUNNY AND WITH DISCOMFORT), but yet close enough so you can hook and twist it out with ease after absorption.

so there, i had made my tampon and gone to bed for the evening. The next morning i woke up and went to the restroom, but, this time was different, i felt absolutely ZERO discomfort in my short walk, but continued on and prepared myself to struggle with my homemade tampon and its removal. Usually i just fish for it and pull it out like it's scarves from a clown hat, however, this time, i inserted my index finger, found the tampon, HOOK AND TWISTED it out in one swift, quick movement, and- the whole thing came out just like that! this had never happened before! i was utterly astonished and...stoked? that morning i figured i would stop for tampons along my way to work, but as i passed the walgreens, i decided to carry on and with a high head on my shoulders, relishing in the satisfaction of my comfortable, recession friendly homemade tampon. i felt like i had won.


that afternoon i shared my experience with some of my girlfriends who too were familiar with the homemade tampon, and we gathered around exchanging tips and tricks as if we were apart of a secret feminine society.


the homemade tampon, it's what they didn't teach you in girl scouts, and something every gal should master for when that unexpected visitor comes each month (well, or so we hope

That's so cool!

THEBEERHAMMER wrote:I mean this horseface ass bitch is dressed up as arguably the most notorious two-faced ass titty-showin whore in the seven kingdoms

AxAxSxS wrote:I fully encourage the display of titties, be they perfect titties, Malformed titties, man titties, transgender titties, alien titties, droopy titties, cancer ridden titties, lopsided titties, covered up titties, pastied titties, coffee serving titties, my wife's titties while I make her coffee, costumed titties, tiny titties, HUGE titties, cold dead titties, Zombie titties, perky titties, horse faced titties, moon faced titties, uma thurman titties, jessica alba swimming around titties, lesbian titties, radical feminist terror titties, punk rock titties, gratefull dead hippie titties, grandma titties, newborn breastfeeding momma titties, nudist titties, conservative republican titties, commy titties, college political activist titties, my titties, your titties, everybody's titties.

Why would you ever discourage or attempt to humiliate that?

Also, this is beautiful-

NSFW: show

THEBEERHAMMER wrote:Yall sound like some thirsty motherfuckers.


Lol i mean alright alright alright. I was clowning with that post. But on the honest...are you pussies so conditioned that you respond to ANY criticisms of a female with accusations of misogyny and sexism? What kind of miserable, lifeless little world do you inhabit? I mean this horseface ass bitch is dressed up as arguably the most notorious two-faced ass titty-showin whore in the seven kingdoms, and you call me sexist and misogynistic for evaluation her based on her looks? Get riiiiight the fuck out of here with that old bullshit. That is some blanket-statement, defamatory pussyboy bullshit.

Mudfuzz wrote:

THEBEERHAMMER wrote:Yall sound like some thirsty motherfuckers.


Lol i mean alright alright alright. I was clowning with that post. But on the honest...are you pussies so conditioned that you respond to ANY criticisms of a female with accusations of misogyny and sexism? What kind of miserable, lifeless little world do you inhabit? I mean this horseface ass bitch is dressed up as arguably the most notorious two-faced ass titty-showin whore in the seven kingdoms, and you call me sexist and misogynistic for evaluation her based on her looks? Get riiiiight the fuck out of here with that old bullshit. That is some blanket-statement, defamatory pussyboy bullshit.

Looked up arguably the most notorious two-faced ass titty-showin whore in the seven kingdoms, I found what looked like Meg Ryan spawn. Conclusion, ginger girl is more likable

unownunown wrote:only one person called you sexist/misogynist dude. i think most everyone just told you to fuck off. you're being an asshole and it's yr fault, not anyone elses


don't you have anything better to dooooo? have you ever had anything better to do? doesn't it get boring being a jerk on the internet?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fn6_f9cKScQ[/youtube]

jfrey wrote:To throw out the obvious, whenever someone posts something bashing a guy for whatever they're doing or how they look, nobody gives a shit. Nobody gets told to fuck off, or that they're being an asshole, or called out on misandry. Hell, my computer doesn't even recognize misandry as a word. It's got that little red squiggly line under it.

I don't care very much either way, but people, at least be consistent.