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aens_wife wrote:You wouldn't drink at your day job, so why is it ok to drink when you are gigging?

Maybe YOU wouldn't...

eti wrote: Tell him you've all decided to quit the band, then later re-form with a new bass player under the same name.

Or you could reunite under a new name, your bassist's name.

Joe Gress wrote:Only counts if you yell "THIS IS SPARTA!!!" at the same time.

Oh, c'mon show a little courtesy. At least get him nice and numb drunk before hand and yell an old fashioned "TUCK AND ROLL MOTHERFUCKER" as you do it.


Joking aside, sit him down (w/ drummer) and explain rationally that you can't deal with him being sloppy all the time. Be stern and final, but also not a condescending dick (not saying you sound like that at all, just something to be concerned about).

aens_wife wrote:If drinking and generally being unprofessional are the two major problems, I would tell him just that. "sorry, we can't work with someone who drinks and refuses to be an absolute professional".

I know that so many musicians don't see getting drunk or high as a problem, but I would never want to associate myself with that kind of bullshit. When you practice and play a gig, you are working. You wouldn't drink at your day job, so why is it ok to drink when you are gigging?

Maybe you wouldn't.

Edit:

Motherfuck, I gotta read the whole thread before I get my snark on.

So using Mayhem as a example of what to do is out of the question...?

this event happens either tomorrow or thursday. All his gear is in the garage. The drummer and I actually unloaded it from the trailer after the short tour. Yah, he's that lame.

bummer thing is i have to put a pickguard on his P-bass. But, i'm a man of my word.

i'm far from a Calvinist on the topic of substances and music. after all, i'm an old hippie...getting stoned and playing the guitar is kind of what i DO, you know? but the bottom line has already been laid down above: if you can't cut it in your role because of your alcohol or drugs, either they go or you do, and you should have enough respect for your fellow bandmates and enough pride in yourself not to show up so wasted that you can't function effectively.

the basic form of approach has also been laid out. everybody gets together. you sit down and explain to him that he was fucking things up on the tour--it'd be good if you have taped examples--and that the reason is because he was drunk, that you'd discussed this before and he'd agreed to cool it but this was even worse, and that you just can't continue like this because if you're going to be doing serious work you have to have people prepared to do serious work, and at this point his drinking is keeping him from doing that.

he'll probably get defensive, either by becoming hostile as many alcoholics do when their drinking is mentioned or by trying to start a pity party. these are the typical manipulative behaviors of an addict; don't be deceived by them. only agree to keep him if he doesn't drink at all around band events, and stick to that rigorously.

and don't forsake him as a human being. he's a person with a fucked-up metabolism that reacts with alcohol. he's probably not TRYING to be a dick any more than a diabetic tries to pass out. you can still care even if you can't work with him.

alternate smart-ass answer:

1. pull his pants down
2. bend him over 90º at the waist
3. aim his mouth at the target
4. shove an 88 millimeter shell up his ass
5. hit the firing pin with a ball-peen hammer
6. BOOM

he's a short unrifled barrel, so don't expect great accuracy. i'd suggest using him as a mortar, but you'd never get the shell back up his throat.

Been there, with a guy that needed to be sent to rehab and dry out before continuing with the band.

Tell the guy before the rehearsals to stop over a nearby pub, and tell him beforehand that the band is having an urgent meeting about him and his substance use, an hour earlier than the rehearsals. Be straight about it. Anybody who wants to continue in the band will have to attend, be in time (or not too much late), and agree with a new band rule that prohibits drinking /smoking/ whatever if it's bad for performance. Even at rehearsals. And that means that nobody probably should have more than one or two drinks in the pub, if any.

IF You think he's worth keeping in the band - if he contributes/ has the sounds right/ something - give him a chance and say the shit he pulled on tour doesn't fly in the future. Why? Because the band doesn't approve, that's why, it doesn't bring anything to the band that the band didn't have when he works sober. Simple as that.

If he's not contributing at all, tell him to do so in the future, or come up with a single good reason why the band should keep him.


and...

Mudfuzz wrote:So using Mayhem as a example of what to do is out of the question...?

oh man, that's not even funny, but I still couldn't help laughing aloud

Mudfuzz wins/thread

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE

Did anyone suggest getting into a physical relationship with the bassist then say they have to leave because you don't want that to complicate the band?

thing is, we've given him the first warning already. That was when he was drinking a 5th before rehearsals....things cleared up for a bit, then this tour brought him right back to where he was.

right. i was just giving you that option as part of the strategy.

gotcha...thanks for your insight on this, guys. It's anything but easy. He's an ODD duck, but he's become a bit of a friend. Hard to tell your friend they are fucking up.

especially when it has aspects of an intervention. that's never comfortable.

tuffteef wrote:THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE

i said that to the dued who wouldn't admit to fucking my ex-wife!