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are your mom jokes allowed?

your momma's so nasty, she makes speed stick slow down.

your momma's so fat she should probably be worried about her increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

your mom is so ugly she finds it difficult to attract members of the opposite sex.

did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard?



neither did she.

do you know why Helen Keller couldn't drive?


because she was a Woman.


How many babies does it take to paint a wall?




It depends on how hard you throw them.

why did helen keller's dog run away? you'd run away too if your name was AAUGUGUUUUGHHHHHAUAHGHGUUGHHH

blahquaker wrote:why did helen keller's dog run away? you'd run away too if your name was AAUGUGUUUUGHHHHHAUAHGHGUUGHHH

i lol'd

Aen--as kids we used to know almost every "guy with no arms and legs" joke!!

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on the floor?
Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water?
Bob

..on the wall?
Art

..in your mailbox?
Bill

(girl)...in your arms?
Carrie

(alternative to Phil)...in a hole?
Doug




My nephew made this one up the other day...probably a better joke than he realized:
"How do you make a bird toot?"
"When it's pooping."

Tom Dalton wrote:What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on the floor?
Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water?
Bob

..on the wall?
Art

..in your mailbox?
Bill

(girl)...in your arms?
Carrie

(alternative to Phil)...in a hole?
Doug

What do you call a hooker with no arms and no legs sucking your dick?
Slut.

knock knock

Who's there?

Moo

Moo who?

what are you, a cow or an owl?

What do you call a gay homeless guy?

Hobosexual.

Why did the Avon lady walk funny.





Because her lips stick.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage...

What's red and not there?






No tomatoes.

How do you stop a skunk from smelling?





You hold it's nose.

What'd Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorainna Bobbit?
You gonna eat that?
What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard
What do you call an upside down blonde?
A brunette with bad breath
What's grosser than gross?
2 vampires playing tug of war with a bloody tampon
What's grosser than that?
A hickey on a hemorrhoid.
That is all.

Teej212 wrote:knock knock
Who's there?
Moo
Moo who?
what are you, a cow or an owl?

Seriously LOL'D

what's brown and sounds like a bell? dunggggggggg.