It’s back from the dead! The TB Mega Thread.

[behndy]

oof. it goes on and ON. should i post more of his pm's?

when i responded with "love to hear some of the AMAZING music you must be making" a few times he talked about recording at Grant Green in SF and couldn't give me any links to any of his stuff.

he.... seems like a special little guy.

[excane]

YESH PLEASE. I get my lol's from this shit

[behndy]

f'realz. i was bored so i know you're not s'posed to feed the trolls, but fuck it. it was an entertaining read mid-vid game playing/TOO MANY PEDALS NO TALENT board tweaking.

it's LONG.
----------------------------------------------------

me - hey there. i've had down times too, if you're going through a rough patch and it helps you feel better trying to insult some random guy on the internet, have at it. i'm a big boy, i can take it. i've never got off on insulting people i don't know, but if it helps you work through some stuff, more power to you guy.

if my playing bothers you, maybe check out some other people's videos? i'm not sure what you're into or what kind of music you like creating, but this is what makes me happy, so...... kinda don't care if you don't see any merit in it. but maybe you should avoid all the negativity? try to watch some stuff that makes you happy?

hope you're doing okay. stay up.


him - Wow you're really taking interest in me. Weird! I was looking for demos of that lofi machine, and when I saw you playing that cheesy, desperate style, I figured I'd call you out for it. It's easy to get frustrated in a world full of mediocre, unhealthy, uninteresting people, so it's tough not to spread a little hate. I mean I bet you're the kind of guy who spent a ton of time buying and selling ten of those bit crusher pedals looking for that "perfect tone!!!" instead of just spending time developing a crisp style and writing cool grooves. People like you make me angry!


me - you're an interesting guy. why would someone playing in a different style than you like make you angry? are you not aware there's a vast landscape of different music out there?

i mean, if you're not just being a silly troll and asking real questions, yes, i play in bands. no, they might not be as traditional as what you're into? is that what offends you? i like to write music. music good.

the funny thing to me in all this is what seems to bother you, the tapping, is like..... lol. it's just a style. and i'm not very good at it. your shredder and desperate cheesy style description.... are odd. Manring, Jean Baudin, dooder from 3rd Eye Blind, Les Claypool... these are people that can actually shred.

and the cutest part is "calling me out". what have you done that makes me care about your opinion at all? i know i'm playing into your silly troll logic by even responding, but want to put up some links of your stuff to show me how the Right Way to play bass is?

a. fucking. DORABLE. you are.


him - Wow, you're working really hard to miss my point. This isnt about style, because you don't have a style...you're obviously the kind of person who doesnt spend time honing any semblance of craft. You just buy gear and think you're a "real rocker!" You're just another jerk-off consumer, taking up space, buying equipment, thinking you're special because you wear a weird hat. No one cares about your music, you're just masturbating. So why not join a softball league or something if you need a hobby?


me - ol. you're a silly little thing? you sound either 12 or an emotionally stunted bitter 50 year old that is sad that life never went well for you.

you're welcome to your opinions, but as to missing points, since i'm a horrible waste of space and you're the shit, i would REALLY love to see some of your output that would make me care even the slightest what you think. do you make music? do you have anything out there? please, share. show me the right way.

so. CUTE. and stop getting worried about finding me sechsy. it's a common reaction. it's okay.


him - Wow even your dumb deflections "omg stop being so JEALOUS i'm so SHEXY!!" are unoriginal. We're actually making our first record right meow, supporting it with a residency at Grant Green in San Francisco starting in two weeks. Two of us have labored for years to really develop style and knowledge, and our third is just a lucky sex poet.

The problem with you is that you, and others like you, make the term "musician" cheap. I bet you call yourself a musician and talk about your dumb band (that probably just plays one chord for 10 straight minutes, turning on and off different effect pedals). Since there are so many damn people like you, the market becomes saturated, and calling yourself a "musician" conjures up images of dumb youtube videos like yours.

Now that my long road has finally led to a sweet victory, people like you don't bother me nearly as much as when I was still in the trenches. But I'll always loathe your kind...working dumb jobs, eating crap, consuming, thinking you're special, and WORST OF ALL...reproducing.


me - ol. good you're funny.

i'm in the bay area as well, and i can't help but notice you still are afraid to share what your music sounds like. i'm actually a bit curious now.

obviously you're making some amazing stuff.

why are you so shy to share links little fellah?


him - Tell ya what, we're whipping up demos for the album this week. I'll send some to ya as soon as I have em. And it's not that hard to be amazing. You just have to spend time on your craft instead of making dumb youtube videos of fuzz pedals.


me - ulz. i would like that. a lot. you talk a LOT of poo, i'd love to see what justifies it. don't leave me hanging.

you have a very different attitude towards music and the people that make it, i wish you the best but it.... doesn't bode well homie.


him - You don't make music. You make noise. Dumb, fuzzy noise. That's what all of this is about. You're a poseur who spends money. I'm a musician who spends time.


me - what do you base that on? you ever hear my music?

you do know that that attitude just makes you come off as an ignorant childlike goof to anybody that's actually done anything right?

you. are. ADORABLE.

never stop being you.


him - One of the cool things about music is that you can tell what kind of a musician someone is from the first notes that they touch on their instrument. Everything that I need to know about you is written all over your videos. Everything that I've said has been right on point, and you know it. You're just a poseur musician consumer, and it's very sad that so many of you exist, clogging up the planet. Have you found the elusive "songwriter" pedal yet?


me - oof. i don't know if you make me laugh at your cute ignorant world view, or just sad. PLEASE tell me you're really young. or joking. i just..... i just don't.

yeah.

you're kind of getting boring now, so please do hit me up if you ever get some of your i'm sure wonderful and interesting and new and different and beautiful music up. i would love to hear what i've been missing out being such a poser wanker. let me know if you play anywhere out here too, just.... just want to experience the MAGIC live too.

but seriously, i hope you're a kid. and you grow up some day and feel silly for having such tiny narrow viewpoint.

alas, i have to go cry now because some random goober that doesn't have any music to point to to back up any of his silliness insulted me. woe is me.

or i might just work on some WANKY AWFUL MUSIC.

best wishes, and seriously. don't bitch out. send me some music at some point. i have GOT to hear this.


him - Don't worry, I will. And there's nothing narrow about disliking poseurs Also, seriously...read a book, you need to learn some words beyond "cute" and "adorable."


me - lol. you have me pegged. a boring, hacky, poser wannabe with a minuscule vocabulary and a propensity for popping out consumer babies.

you sir, are a moron.

[ChetMagongalo]

damn, what a fucking loser

[Grrface]

Not gonna lie, that dude is pretty hilarious. He's apparently a pretty well known Youtube troll, so you're making the big leagues!

Also, his name is either Alan or Arthur, and he lives in Calabasas, probably. Best guess, he's about 43?

[behndy]

where's Calabasas? lol. i am sure it's going to be awful, but i'm curious what music he does. he's SILLY.

yay! people like me! they really, really like me!!

[SmallEQ]

Hey Behndy...something else for your feeble breeder consumerist whore self...
B b b b b b beta!

[behndy]

oh you little fucker. NEED TO BUY. how is it? WANT.

also, this is one of my favorites -

"And it's not that hard to be amazing. You just have to spend time on your craft instead of making dumb youtube videos of fuzz pedals."

but this is just perfect in every way. every letter, the cadence, the imagery. just........ just BEAUTIFUL. it's like Haiku For Douches -

"You don't make music. You make noise. Dumb, fuzzy noise. That's what all of this is about. You're a poseur who spends money. I'm a musician who spends time."

I AM A MUSICIAN WHO SPENDS TIME.

well said suh. well said INDEED.

[Seizurema]

[jasonmitsch]

Hey Behndy...something else for your feeble breeder consumerist whore self...
B b b b b b beta!

I already have a BEFPro. Will this+midi antiquate the BEFpro? Or can I mock it up with midi controls?

[Tendollarcat]

Hey Behndy,

You handled that douche very well man. He was probably quite erect when you contacted him directly I'm currently searching who has a residency at that venue it two weeks....

[behndy]

lol. yeah. trolls are silly.

like, i don't know him? he's probably a nobody that can barely play and is in a cheesy awful boring band, if he even actually does play out? even if he is successful, i still could give a fuck about his opinion. so i was just having fun reading the silly outlandish shits he was saying. nice complement to nekid vidja game playings and tall frosty glasses of oj.

googily MOOgiliy i love me some orange juice.

[Twangasaurus]

I don't really get trolls. Why would you do something as boring as simply insult someone? Making people feel super awkward and confused through the manipulation of social conventions and committing faux pas is much more amusing.

[behndy]

it's a sign of their lack of intelligence?

not just the pathetic "insults" they lob that shouldn't bother anybody of reading age, but their delight derived from their cute, baby-like actions.

[vrom]

That's some funny shit Ben!

My inexpert analysis is that he is very very frustrated that he can't suck his own dick, and is taking it out on you, for no real reason other than you happen to be one of the first people he saw online after another failed auto-fellatio attempt. Kinda sad, but mostly funny.

My guess is he is either 13 years old, or simply has the social/emotional capacity of a someone much, much younger than himself.

If he is from Calabasas then it fits. Lots of bored over privileged 13 year olds (and still living at mom's home 40 year olds) to be found there, just north of the San Fernando Valley off the 101 (next to Thousand Oaks, where Matt of Wren and Cuff can be found, who in contrast is a way cool dude, of course). My brothers went to high school out there and they've had many a run in with similar personality types. Spoiled know it alls with no positive social skills and way too much time on their hands.

He should really take up serious yoga so he can suck his own dick already and stop bothering you about how you spend your time.

He reminds me of a fundamentalist (insert any fundamentalist religion here). You could hate him if he wasn't so pitiable.