Shitty movies
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Re: Shitty movies
by $harkToootth » Mon Feb 05, 2018 11:47 am
I found a bunch of old school Evangelist propaganda films on youtube. I would never watch the full thing but I'm glad they exist.
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: Shitty movies
by MechaGodzilla » Mon Feb 05, 2018 10:04 pm
calfzilla wrote:It's even more perplexing to think that a real police department gives Steven Seagal authority.
way old seanbaby column wrote:Steven Seagal's taser uses more electricity in a day than a Texas prison. Where you and I leave a carbon footprint, Steven Seagal pounds his foot into the Earth's ass, and activates his coal-burning boot taser.
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Re: Shitty movies
by calfzilla » Tue Feb 06, 2018 8:14 am
Looks like @mechagodzilla is my new Crackedhead buddy
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Re: Shitty movies
by comesect2.0 » Tue Feb 06, 2018 9:55 am
Have you seen his new movies calf? His writing is superb.
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Re: Shitty movies
by calfzilla » Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:24 am
Steven Seagal movies have writers?
I, myself, am a shit post
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Re: Shitty movies
by Kacey Y » Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:28 am
calfzilla wrote:Steven Seagal movies have writers?
One presumes they're just sort of mumbly dictated to an assistant, with a lot of wavy hand gestures.
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Re: Shitty movies
by $harkToootth » Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:29 am
If you look at the overall plots...some are not completely moronic. I would even argue there is some 'compassion' in a lot of the films. Individual scenes though...my goodness.
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: Shitty movies
by calfzilla » Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:35 am
Corey Y wrote:calfzilla wrote:Steven Seagal movies have writers?
One presumes they're just sort of mumbly dictated to an assistant, with a lot of wavy hand gestures.
Are you sure that's not the choreography director? Or are they both the same person?
I, myself, am a shit post
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Re: Shitty movies
by Kacey Y » Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:40 am
calfzilla wrote:Corey Y wrote:calfzilla wrote:Steven Seagal movies have writers?
One presumes they're just sort of mumbly dictated to an assistant, with a lot of wavy hand gestures.
Are you sure that's not the choreography director? Or are they both the same person?
Anyone is Steven's assistant, if they're near enough to hear him speak. He just assumes you're doing his bidding.
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Re: Shitty movies
by $harkToootth » Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:41 am
I need to re-watch this. I'm beginning to love everything about this movie.
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: Shitty movies
by calfzilla » Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:42 am
Corey Y wrote:calfzilla wrote:Corey Y wrote:calfzilla wrote:Steven Seagal movies have writers?
One presumes they're just sort of mumbly dictated to an assistant, with a lot of wavy hand gestures.
Are you sure that's not the choreography director? Or are they both the same person?
Anyone is Steven's assistant, if they're near enough to hear him speak. He just assumes you're doing his bidding.
Oh I meant the choreographer and the writer.
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Re: Shitty movies
by Achtane » Thu Feb 08, 2018 10:01 am
GEOSTORM was really bad 
But there was one fantastic scene involving frozen seagulls raining from the sky and smashing into the asphalt all around this girl.
It was like a bad movie that would have come out 15-20 years ago when movie producers had boners for natural disasters for some reason.
But there was one fantastic scene involving frozen seagulls raining from the sky and smashing into the asphalt all around this girl.
It was like a bad movie that would have come out 15-20 years ago when movie producers had boners for natural disasters for some reason.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Louy7zH9guw
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Re: Shitty movies
by $harkToootth » Thu Feb 08, 2018 10:06 am
I've fallen down the Neil Breen rabbit hole. I'm enjoying this disrupter of my existence but I'm not recommending. There is so many more 'great scenes' than this video shows.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-fYWAwc8Q0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-fYWAwc8Q0
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: Shitty movies
by calfzilla » Thu Feb 08, 2018 1:26 pm
I feel like House and House II should be mentioned.
And Lexx.
And a movie I thought was called Space Invaders but that doesn't seem to exist. It was on Sci-Fi back when it was Sci-Fi.
And Lexx.
And a movie I thought was called Space Invaders but that doesn't seem to exist. It was on Sci-Fi back when it was Sci-Fi.
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Re: Shitty movies
by Kacey Y » Thu Feb 08, 2018 1:34 pm
Might you mean Spaced Invaders? It is a bizarrely terrible film, but I was slightly obsessed with it as a kid because it starred my childhood crush Ariana Richards as a girl who liked to make her own Halloween costumes (which was my jam).
I quite enjoy/relate to the taste of the Good Bad Flicks youtube channel, he did an episode on it:
I quite enjoy/relate to the taste of the Good Bad Flicks youtube channel, he did an episode on it:
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