I'd like to be more of a bastard for 2018

[Bloodhammer]

I'm not sure how I want to go about doing so yet, but I'm thinking I'd like to become an insufferable hipster. I can't grow a lumberjack beard, but I could don a hat and start being really pretentious about music and beer. Well, I could don a hat and start being really pretentious about beer. Metal snobbery FTW. Any suggestions? There are so many things to consider. Maybe I should join the Church of Satan and PETA. Or get Harvey Weinstein's face tattooed on my junk.

[$harkToootth]

Take notes from this guy. He really gets himself worked up in this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlEjgaezVrA

[$harkToootth]

I don't know why but the premise of this thread reminds me of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1kmZVMqeiI

[JonnyAngle]

It’s better if you try to grow a beard since you can’t. The pube-beards are the most hipster

[Bloodhammer]

Yeah, that dude is fairly off-putting. The Burzum shirt really brings it all together for him. I wonder if I could combine that kind of cheerio-pissing with the most cliche qualities of aroma therapists and crust punks.

[Bloodhammer]

It’s better if you try to grow a beard since you can’t. The pube-beards are the most hipster

I can grow a great mustache. You've seen pics of me. I twirl that shit at the ends 'til I look like an old west pimp.

[$harkToootth]

You could complain about "how hard it is to make your living as an artist" but live in a $2000/Month apartment and not work a job. That's one of my favorites.
General elitism is good. Really just pick any diet with a self contained aesthetic system and use it for virtue points.
Here's a great one! Story top people...for everything...bonus points if it didn't actually happen. Just talk down to people and pretend it did...it makes it true.
Am I missing anything???

You also be part 'of a scene' and for whatever said 'scene' is talk about how it was better in the early days.

[Blackened Soul]

[$harkToootth]

[snipelfritz]

Keep the look relatively clean and become a Tinder fuccboi.

[echorec]

I don't know why but the premise of this thread reminds me of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1kmZVMqeiI

That reminded me of this.

[adamajah]

sadly we're in a time when hipsters are the least bastardy of the bastard race. Aim higher man!

[$harkToootth]

@rec - I'm speechless...

[$harkToootth]

@Bloodhammer - Get a Nu Screamer and all this will be done.

[Bloodhammer]

You could complain about "how hard it is to make your living as an artist" but live in a $2000/Month apartment and not work a job. That's one of my favorites.
General elitism is good. Really just pick any diet with a self contained aesthetic system and use it for virtue points.
Here's a great one! Story top people...for everything...bonus points if it didn't actually happen. Just talk down to people and pretend it did...it makes it true.
Am I missing anything???

You also be part 'of a scene' and for whatever said 'scene' is talk about how it was better in the early days.

These are all great suggestions. I don't have a trust fund, though. Maybe I should start a kickstarter.

Also, keep in mind I'm still not 100% committed to the hipster angle at this early stage. It's definitely appalling, but there are still a lot of options to explore. I feel like I've already got militant atheism down to an art form. That and my aversion to comic book-based movies are things I feel like I should continue to build on to be all the bastard I can be. I'm definitely going to start being smug about being a *insert dietary lifestyle here*.