The Velvet Hammer AMA



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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby The Velvet Hammer » Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:21 pm

JonnyAngle wrote:
The Velvet Hammer wrote:
JonnyAngle wrote:Arby's sauce or Horsey sauce?

The Hammer has tried neither of these condiments, although he does enjoy some Castrol and fries...

If he had to pick based on description though, Horsey, as Arby's contains Worcestershire and he's not in to fermented fish.

Do you prefer horses?

Not many animals require a hammer, but the horse does for shoes to protect its hooves, The Hammer appreciates this.
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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby The Velvet Hammer » Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:24 pm

Lurker13 wrote:Which fuzz is the best fuzz for Hammering?

The kind where you don't hit your fingers and it always hits the mark.
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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby The Velvet Hammer » Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:26 pm

actualidiot wrote:I'll take that.


AKA SUCK IT

The Velvet Hammer will suck nothing, although he appreciates how descriptive a username can be.

Exhibits A & B.
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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby actual » Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:28 pm

The Velvet Hammer wrote:
actualidiot wrote:I'll take that.


AKA SUCK IT

The Velvet Hammer will suck nothing, although he appreciates how descriptive a username can be.

Exhibits A & B.



:lol: it wasn't directed towards you. Nevermind.
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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby Mudfuzz » Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:29 pm

Will hammer sucking over take doorknob licking in popularity in Japanese porn?
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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby JonnyAngle » Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:37 pm

Image

Or

Image
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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby The Velvet Hammer » Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:39 pm

Both...

Although the second would likely be preferred, a single malt over a blend is usually the preferred choice.
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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby The Velvet Hammer » Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:49 pm

Mudfuzz wrote:Will hammer sucking over take doorknob licking in popularity in Japanese porn?

While The Hammer was unaware of this phenomenon, he is fairly certain the the doorknob will always hold phallic superiority over the hammer.

The Ball-Peen would be a natural contender, if not for its smaller stature.
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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby Iommic Pope » Fri Aug 25, 2017 9:50 pm

actualidiot wrote:I'll take that.


AKA SUCK IT

:lol: :lol: :lol:

2Pac's Changes is better.... :animal:
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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby gnomethrone » Fri Aug 25, 2017 11:29 pm

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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby Iommic Pope » Sat Aug 26, 2017 12:59 am

:lol:
WWPD?
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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby echorec » Sat Aug 26, 2017 1:32 am

This question is for anyone. I don't understand the weird dichotomy between voyeurism/board abstinence and this sudden outpouring. From roughly 40 posts in 6 years to 30 posts in 48 hours is a fairly significant swinging of the pendulum. So is VH more Harry Lime or more Hitchcock?
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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby Iommic Pope » Sat Aug 26, 2017 2:24 am

Velvet Hammer is omnipresent but usually intervenes silently.
Its not often the VH has to act but its invocation is normally reserved for the most horrendous of abhorrent offenders, obviously, because the rest of us are full time shitposting.
The past year in the real world has been tough on everyone, so my guess is this is some of that spilling over here, so beginning a fight to keep this place as it was and attempt to retain some immunity from what seems like a nonsensical shitstorm, or to recognise that perhaps no place can exist untouched from the taint of reality and that survival requires adjusting for stasis accordingly.
The great philosophical divide, staring ILF down as we peer down into its unsettling and uncertain abyss, desperately searching for signs of hope that the path across is without ugliness.
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fcknoise wrote:You are all fucking tryhard effort posting nerds

Invisible Man wrote:I'm probably the most humble person I know. I feel good about smelling my own butthole.

Jesus Was a Robot wrote:Did you just assume Billy Corgan's dildo preference??
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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby goroth » Sat Aug 26, 2017 2:36 am

That was profound man.

:hug:

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Re: The Velvet Hammer AMA

Postby Iommic Pope » Sat Aug 26, 2017 2:45 am

Ugh.
Fuck that record.
I almost mentioned it in the meh cuts thread, but then I remembered there isn't a single high point on the album.
WWPD?
fcknoise wrote:You are all fucking tryhard effort posting nerds

Invisible Man wrote:I'm probably the most humble person I know. I feel good about smelling my own butthole.

Jesus Was a Robot wrote:Did you just assume Billy Corgan's dildo preference??
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