Dad Dick 2999 here AMA



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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby Somnambulance » Sat Dec 09, 2017 7:41 pm

Eivind August wrote:I have not paid attention to this thread, and now I am become regret, scourge of the wenis.

same
Listen, the WORLD is my board. All of the pedals are on it, just out of my reach..
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby Dad Dick 2999 » Thu Dec 14, 2017 10:49 am

$harkToootth wrote:1. THE PHANTOM THREAD - The new Daniel Day Lewis movie. Has 'acting' gone too far?
2. Guitar Solos - A necessity / borderline self-indulgence / an archaic tradition / really cool / Other / All of the above / None of the above / All of the above AND none of the above
3. Tuning in alternative rock acts
4. Going back in time, to a time where Eivind didn't have the 87 Fuzz. We need to go back in time to a time, where we need to go back in time, to get said fuzz. Time travel rules are X-MEN 'Days Of The Future Past' Arc
5. How to be the best ambassador of your species?
6. Sexually "disinterested" beings...


1) Yes, acting has gone too far. We call actors 'professional liars' in my place of origin, and their ability to create a verisimilitude of passion means that they spend their lives alone and untrusted.
2) Guitar solos are acceptable only if there are joyful ejaculations from the crowd.
3) Alternative tunings in alternative rock acts?
4) I don't think there's a question here, but: Eivind's critical mistake was in completing his quest. A true education is never complete; the concept of time is less critical to his project than your collective concept of desire. Can there be, in other words, a notion of temporal progress without a sense of desire? Eivind would exist 'out of time' if he desired nothing. You, $harkToootth, would exist out of time if you no longer desired his desire. I am an ancient penis because--despite my totemic and physiological subservience to fleshy delights--I am beyond desire.
5) The world is shit, which most of you realize. Sadly, the notion that 'accepting this fact as an avenue to peace' is wrong-headed. Your happiness or sense of personal comfort is of no import; improving the shittiness of the world is of great import. This lack of aspirational thinking--while possibly more comfortable than alternatives--does not allow possibilities for incremental change, or to create spaces where good ambassadors thrive.
6) The remedy to 'sexual disinterest' is body hair. You have been correct about this all along.
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby $harkToootth » Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:03 am

Dad Dick 2999 wrote:6) The remedy to 'sexual disinterest' is body hair. You have been correct about this all along.

:lol: :lol: :lol: Oh man that really had me cackling. Thank you for that!

I think I found where you came from Dad Dick. Thank goodness for internet click bait! You are not the only one of your kind. You're one of the penises on these guys from Easter Island! The next step is 'how'. How were you made?
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby Kacey Y » Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:36 am

I'm really worried about them.
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby actual » Thu Dec 14, 2017 12:46 pm

Dad Dick 2999 wrote:
5) The world is shit, which most of you realize. Sadly, the notion that 'accepting this fact as an avenue to peace' is wrong-headed.



Accepting it isn't the end all be all, but merely a step on the way.

Also, my personal comfort > world peace.
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby $harkToootth » Fri Dec 15, 2017 4:37 pm

Dad Dick, here is a good example of some cool tunings. Not sure where I found this but I took a picture on my phone when I did.
Image
I am currently tuned in Cccfg#e.
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"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby jrfox92 » Fri Dec 15, 2017 5:47 pm

I thought the best tuning was D-A-D-D-E-C.
Since I always forget:

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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby $harkToootth » Fri Dec 15, 2017 5:50 pm

Image
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby jrfox92 » Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:03 pm

OH, I get it now. The jellyfish is a penis.

I was confused about that for hours.
Since I always forget:

Inconuucl wrote:You can't kill Strymon, it'll just resurrect 3 days later.

BitchPudding wrote:Despite all my rage, I am still just eating tacos in a cage.

Inconuucl wrote:Welcome to ilf, we have three jokes and twelve posters. <3
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby $harkToootth » Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:04 pm

:lol: I am not a clever man.
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby $harkToootth » Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:06 pm

Image
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby $harkToootth » Sat Dec 23, 2017 11:28 am

DadDick, regarding ambassadors of a species, Adam The Bear is a good one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doiFDlS6zHI
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby fuzzisokiguess » Sat Dec 23, 2017 3:37 pm

Father Phallus, is there a truer expression of modern maleness than the ritualistic packing of the car for a road trip?

Got stung on my leg by a jellyfish while attempting to body surf little Atlantic waves a few years back. I screamed as if my vocals were being pitchfactored up two octaves, but alas, there was no signal processing.
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby comesect2.0 » Sat Dec 23, 2017 3:51 pm

shit yeah, feels like theres a gajillion microscopic sea lampreys squirming around throwing up the blood of xenomorphs while Buddhist monks pour gasoline on them and the ass blasters from tremors come in kamikaze style and you just gotta ruff it out.
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Re: Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

Postby gnomethrone » Sat Dec 23, 2017 6:25 pm

Me: "BRO HOLD STILL WHILE I PISS ON YOU."

Commiesex2.0: "nah its cool the lifeguard probably has a vinegar solution that will neutralize the sting just as well."

Me: "Huh? You got stung by something?"
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