So I'm finding myself a bit in a rut again.
My dog had to be put down yesterday and it's taken a huge emotional toll on me. The worst thing for me was that I watched him suffer for probably 30 minutes before I was able to get him help. Maybe 40. I don't know. The day is a blur.
I'm beyond depressed about that.
Less than a month ago, I paid off 15k in debt, which I badly needed to do. Now I'm trying to get my head above water by getting a large equity loan so I can purchase more rental properties. Well, that's not working out too well. I've already this week had to spend almost 3k I don't have. I'm going to try and get into the bank this week or at very least start the talk over the phone. I'm afraid they'll say no. I'm more afraid we'll rack that debt right back up. It's hard when you have "oh shits" happen all at once. The dog, my refrigerator needing replaced, my wife's car is going to shit, HOA dues, fucking renewal tags, health related bullshit I have to pay because I can't get good insurance...etc. It's just stressful and I know, I know everyone goes through this stuff. I just get tired of it.
I almost listed all my gear for sale this morning as I'm so damn depressed, I barely give a shit about it anymore, but I stopped myself. If I sell all of it, I'll probably regret it and it's one of the biggest ways I'm able to relax.
Sorry for constantly dumping here. I just need support from time to time and I don't really get it from anyone other than my wife, so it's hard.