How long is thy dong? 2018 DAD DICK EDITION



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HOW LONG IS YOUR DONG? The 2018 Dad Dick Edition! Large dongs need not apply.

1-3 inches (it's the ILF norm. You're ok with it being small because, honestly, you're not going to get laid, so who cares?).
1
5%
4-5 inches (you have a large penis. We get it! SO WHAT!! Do you use it??? Bet you don't buddy!!!).
0
No votes
6 inches (This makes you the equivalent of a sexual god. At this point, we don't believe it but we're willing to look at photo evidence).
4
21%
Any over 6-7 inches (I'm a liar for voting here. I know it, you know. ILF has determined only small penises exist here. Soooooooooooooo....yea. You're still not going to get laid bruh).
4
21%
I don't have a penis but I wish I did.
1
5%
I don't have a penis and I'm happy about that, so like, fuck you assholes.
2
11%
ILF is obsessed with cocks.
7
37%
 
Total votes : 19

Re: How long is thy dong? 2017 extra hard edition!

Postby $harkToootth » Tue May 16, 2017 12:01 am

Image
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2017 extra hard edition!

Postby $harkToootth » Tue May 16, 2017 12:05 am

Last one...this is about right...
Image
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2017 extra hard edition!

Postby Iommic Pope » Tue May 16, 2017 12:29 am

Why no dad dick edition?
WWPD?
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2017 extra hard edition!

Postby samzadgan » Tue May 16, 2017 12:46 am

Iommic Pope wrote:Why no dad dick edition?


That's because once you've had kids you don't really care about the size...its done its job...so...
AxAxSxS wrote:...if its a loud tube amp.... :doom:


Iommic Pope wrote:Amps first, makeup sex later.
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2017 extra hard edition!

Postby samzadgan » Tue May 16, 2017 12:48 am

small and furry...but its got a hell of a bite...
Image
AxAxSxS wrote:...if its a loud tube amp.... :doom:


Iommic Pope wrote:Amps first, makeup sex later.
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2017 extra hard edition!

Postby ShaunNecro » Sat May 20, 2017 11:20 pm

"I got steel in my skull, harder than rock
and rubber and iron in my cock!"
-Techno Destructo

I mean, it's more like steel and silicone, but it's still more interesting than my length, which is still above average.
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2018 DAD DICK EDITION

Postby Jwar » Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:16 pm

DAD DICK!!!!
"I do not have the ability to think rationally 90% of the time and I also change my mind at the drop of a hat".

-JWAR :)
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2018 DAD DICK EDITION

Postby $harkToootth » Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:18 pm

YES!!!! VOTED!!!!

EDIT: HA! I was the only vote for a minute! The truth is out on my $h@rk Penis.
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2018 DAD DICK EDITION

Postby comesect2.0 » Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:40 pm

i dont have one.
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2018 DAD DICK EDITION

Postby nogodsnobedtimes » Fri Feb 23, 2018 11:48 pm

$harkToootth wrote:YES!!!! VOTED!!!!

EDIT: HA! I was the only vote for a minute! The truth is out on my $h@rk Penis.


I knew you were the only vote when I cast my vote so.... :hug:
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2018 DAD DICK EDITION

Postby actual » Sat Feb 24, 2018 12:02 am

I propose we all follow this formula

Mixing and mastering? Makeshift Audio
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2018 DAD DICK EDITION

Postby $harkToootth » Tue May 04, 2021 5:46 pm

My penis actually got smaller since I answered this. My penis is kind of like how Yoda just disappears at the beginning of RETURN OF THE JEDI. It even started saying, "Rest, I must. Rest." And I yelled back, "YOU HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHING!"
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2018 DAD DICK EDITION

Postby goroth » Wed May 05, 2021 9:31 am

Necrobender!
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2018 DAD DICK EDITION

Postby MaxMaps » Wed May 05, 2021 5:02 pm

Cock talk on ILF
THEBEERHAMMER wrote:
Achtane wrote:Doom Weed, duh.
Doom seed is like...what you get when wizards jerk it.
Doom Weed produces Doom Seed.

BRO IS THIS EVEN KUSH??? IS BUFFERED? TRV BYPASS??? MY FRIEND DAMBLEDORE TOLD ME I NEEDED CRYSTAL LETTUICE.
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Re: How long is thy dong? 2018 DAD DICK EDITION

Postby Heraclitus Akimbo » Wed May 05, 2021 9:42 pm

MaxMaps wrote:Cock talk on ILF


Yeah, this place seems to have had more of a gross bro-y locker room vibe back in the day.

Always kinda creepy when these old threads get dredged up.
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