Finally made sense of the obtuse and frustrating MPC500 I have and have been having a ton of fun actually practicing the songs I want to be playing live, enough to actually start talking to promoters etc, kind of exciting to be starting from rock bottom again in a new country.
The deep depression wave seems to have lulled a bit too, I can sleep for more than three hours at a time now and don't feel atrabilious as fuck all the time. Whether it's just the eye of the storm or things are going back to the usual, tolerable moderate depression or not I don't know but I don't plan on questioning it too much.