The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread...

[D.o.S.]

:group: y'all

also just found out that my best friend when i lived in philly overdosed a couple months ago.
fuck

It's no fun at all dude.

[Lurker13]

Feeling a little overwhelmed with a dying loved one, music fading from its place as chief meaning in my life and having nothing to replace it with, and just feeling like every nerve in my body is raw and being abrased at all hours of the day. And I'm having nightmares every single night. You know, the good emo stuff!!!!!

Oh man, that is rough. I'm so sorry. If there is anything I can do for you beyond offering emotional support, please let me know. Maybe a doctor could recommend a sleep aid to supress the nightmares.

also just found out that my best friend when i lived in philly overdosed a couple months ago.
fuck

I'm sorry, doc.

I've lost friends and family over the years, I know how much it sucks. Definitely a big for everybody in pain. Hang in there, people.

[aens_wife]

I feel like I am losing my mind. Between work being crazy and having three teens/pre-teens, I don't have a lot of extra energy.

Yesterday, I found out that a close friend of mine was raped by her current partner. This partner has been abusive over the last few months and she won't leave him. No matter what I say. No matter how many logical points I make, she won't leave.

I've known her since I was 13 years old and it is breaking my heart. I can't help her and it is breaking my heart.

I don't know what to do next.

[BetterOffShred]

Watching those we care about stuck in a downward spiral is pretty rough. If you've been trying to provide council and she isn't having it, at some point you have to realize her destructive behavior is becoming or will be destructive to you. I've had to distance myself from people because caring for them as they self destruct becomes hazardous. I'm not saying you peace her out or anything, she clearly needs help.. but make sure you take care of yourself first and foremost. It's the common occurrence where someone jumps into the sea or whatever to render aid to a drowning person only to them be drown themselves.

[aens_wife]

I know that stuff in my head, but I am having a really hard time accepting it. I just want to shake her and make her realize that she cannot help her partner and that no amount of forgiveness will change their behavior. Sigh.

[3205]

Some really heavy stuff happening around me. Marriages disintegrating, mental illnesses resurging, bankruptcy/poverty, and an extended family member was booked into prison a few weeks ago for something truly heinous. They probably won't get out for decades.

I'm mostly a step or two removed from everything, but it still weighs on me.

[friendship]

I know that stuff in my head, but I am having a really hard time accepting it. I just want to shake her and make her realize that she cannot help her partner and that no amount of forgiveness will change their behavior. Sigh.

It is so difficult to see someone you care about suffer like that and feel powerless to help. I'm so sorry you're going through this, and sorry that your friend is ensnared in this horrible relationship.

[IEatCats]

FACEBOOK IS THE FUCKING DEVIL AND I HATE THAT I CAN'T EVEN FUCKING DELETE IT NOW THAT I'M IN A BAND THAT'S TRYING TO DO WELL BECAUSE MY ABILITY TO NETWORK LOCALLY FUCKING PLUMMETS.

I FUCKING HATE THAT SITE AND I WISH I COULD JUST BE OFF OF IT ENTIRELY.

BUT APPARENTLY THE ONLY WAY TO DELETE IT COMPLETELY IS TO FUCKING DIE.

[Jwar]

I feel like I am losing my mind. Between work being crazy and having three teens/pre-teens, I don't have a lot of extra energy.

Yesterday, I found out that a close friend of mine was raped by her current partner. This partner has been abusive over the last few months and she won't leave him. No matter what I say. No matter how many logical points I make, she won't leave.

I've known her since I was 13 years old and it is breaking my heart. I can't help her and it is breaking my heart.

I don't know what to do next.

I know exactly how you feel and it fucking sucks bad. My aunt is a abuse victim and was actively abused for 25 years by her still husband. He raped her, beat her, starved her and did just about anything and everything you could think possible to her including bringing her to the brink of death several times. She never pressed charges and still to this day, will not divorce him. She finally separated, but won't divorce. It's against God's law for her. Right. Clearly someone wasn't paying attention when they were reading their bible.

Both of my sisters were raped. My youngest sister was raped when she was 15-16 and she would not tell me who did it. I look all over to find who I thought did it because I was going to kill the motherfucker. I didn't know what else I could do. It felt like that's the only route to take to bring true justice. I still don't know really who it was and where they are. She doesn't talk about it.

My other (older sister), never talked about it.


My friend April was gang raped while I was in town in the Ozarks with her as well. I dropped her off to hang out with what I thought were friends and then found her walking in the rain hours later. She told me what had happened and I tried to go back but she said they all had guns and there were like 10 of them. It was just me and her there, I knew no one else. She wouldn't let me call the police, she wouldn't let me go back to do anything or try, and she was drunk out of her mind trying to kill herself. So, I spent my evening with her trying so hard to get her to not take her own life. She tried to jump out of my care while I was doing 70 mph at one point. It was horrible and I felt helpless.

Seeing people you love being hurt is the absolute worst. It sucks even more when you know what will help them, they know what will help them bu they won't fucking do it. Something stops them. I don't get it and probably never will.

When working with an abuse victim recently through a local organization (I rented to a woman who was abused for a LONG time), I discovered some startling things about abuse victims I never knew. A lot of them go back no matter what, it's almost like they are mentally damaged beyond repair and cannot move past that point. They stop growing as people and just survive. For the program I was using, they had to be at least 6 years abuse free. Interesting concept right? They have to be free of abuse for 6 years, like abuse is a choice. Apparently it can be in some cases. Who would choose to be abused though? Or to not stop it? When the fear is there, I guess a lot of people (mostly women) do just that. They are more afraid of their abuser than anything else that this world could do to them.

She was an extremely broken women, I tried to help her the best I could doing things way above and beyond anything a normal landlord would do, and it didn't help. She decided to drop the program, break her lease, stiff me on money and run off to another state. Why? I think it's because of that abused mentality. They don't know how to live life as an adult after they escape.

So, Louise, if I were you and I knew the abuse was going on, I would tell the authorities. They may not be able to do anything right then and there, but they will keep an eye on them and if they get a call there, they will treat situations differently. I've been there with that as well with friends. Do it anonymously if you're afraid of hurting your friend.

There's also the good old fashioned threat of physical harm to the other party. I know it sounds petty and counter productive but sometimes it fucking works. One of my uncle's student (Karate), who we all loved and adored was being abused and she was fucking second degree black belt. Well within her ability to stop all harm being done to her. Her husband had zero fighting skill but had a mental hold on her. My uncle found out about it and he and about 10 other guys went to their house one night. She was NEVER abused again and he granted her a divorce and has not bothered or harassed her since. Obviously that's an extreme solution, but sometimes extreme is the answer.

I'd start with the law though. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'll pray for your friend and yourself.

[BitchPudding]

I hate my mind and everything in it.

But mostly I hate myself.

[dubkitty]

the worst thing isn't that i hate my mind so, it's how much my mind hates me.

[codetocontra]

I am the reason I can't have nice things.

[Invisible Man]

Thank you for playing?

[friendship]

What if I told you

there is no mind

[Lurker13]

What if I told you

there is no mind

I wouldn't mind.