thanks dudes, thanks BP
i really appreciate y'all taking the time to respond.
yea i don't have any hang ups about therapy. i went to one for a couple months when i was in college and about to graduate.
she really helped me a lot at that time in my life. it was prolly one of the best decisions i ever made.
i guess the only thing i am a lil weary about is medication. i get that it could help me, but i also get the downsides to pills.
i dunno. i am just taking it one day at a time. we'll see what happens at my psych eval.
i am going to communicate that w/ them.
@popvulture thats a good point about cigs being a stimulant (i always think that it calms me down) & constantly putting all that wack shit in my body.
i think also too i was feeling like i lost control of it and i couldn't stop.
like i would feel like shit, be like YO COOL OUT ON THE CIGS. then 5 minutes later there was another one in my hand and i'm about to light it even tho i know i shouldn't
couldn't stop myself. i guess i'm not so much thinking of quitting, but since this thing happened, cigs/weed has only made this a bit worse, so i knew i had to chill out.
i am not a control freak but i think losing control of your mind is scary. even if its little things.
also a couple weeks back i learned that my friend that i went to high school w/
has been dealing w/ schizophrenia. like he prolly had it for awhile but is just now getting the help he needs and telling ppl about it.
hearing my other friend who lives w/ him talk about it really got to me at the time.
yea i love my girl so much, she is the best. but she has her own things to deal w/ as well. we need to be able to lean on each other.
but i think that also means that we can't just solely rely on each other all the time or else we may both fall apart.
anyway, chest x-ray came back good they said. still waiting on the blood work.
we did some errands today and then got some take out at our japanese spot on the way back.
some sushi, gyoza's and pho. PHO IS LIFE.
i think the main thing i need is time. again thanks for sharing your thoughts guys